Hi everyone. I just need some kind of support. It's 11:34 right now. My birthday is tomorrow, the 12th. It's probably going to be the worst birthday I've ever had. It's my 21st. Everyone looks forward to that one. Well, I'm 11 weeks pregnant. So no drinking. But that's not the big deal. My fiancee, who is the father of the baby I am pregnant with just got a parole violation yesterday and was sent back to jail. So here I am in our house. Just thinking about how I get to spend my 21st birthday alone. His parole officer is supposed to go see him tomorrow and tell him something. He has a possibility of being sent away for 3 years. He told his p.o. that tomorrow was my birthday. Is it just me or would it be the worst birthday present in the world for his parole officer to show up and I get a call from my fiancee saying happy birthday baby I'm sorry I'll be gone for 3 years. Ok so I know that people might just say I'm feeling sorry for myself. And maybe I am, but I'm just really upset now.
2007-10-11 16:44:08 · 6 answers · asked by mommy2be1205 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well sometimes babe you have to stand alone, and don't take this the wrong way but when you get involved with someone like that, those are the risks you take. Especially when that person doesn't want to get out of that and do everything in his power not to go back to jail. Rent a movie, do whatever you want it's your birthday and don't let anyone spoil that. Even if it's just and your unborn child. For your sake I hope he doesn't get sent away, but if he does maybe you need to start thinking about your future with him and with your child. Do you really want someone who doesn't have the best interest of you and your child at heart? Think about it. Even if you love him, love your child and think about what kind of life she'll have if he's not there. Or can't be. Learn to be by yourself. You don't always need somewhere there. You better get God, he's not going to jail and He'll never leave you. I don't have a boyfriend anymore but I have him, and he's more to me than my ex could have ever been. Good luck babe!
2007-10-11 16:54:03 · answer #1 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay... you had a serious lapse of common sense by getting with a guy with a prison record that is out on parole.
Another serious lapse when you decided to make a baby with him. He clearly hasn't the sense that God give a duck! If he is thinking at all, he is only thinking of himself. Chances are, whether he admits it or not, this is his way of getting out of the responsibility of being a daddy.
Next time, be a little more discerning.
Assuming the stress alone doesn't terminate the pregnancy, you will have another person to feed, nurture, clothe and house for the next 18 years, and you are just barely beyond that marker yourself.
You need to settle yourself down and make a plan for what to do with the rest of your life. Do some research. Get some AFDC coming in. See about financial aid at the community college. Learn how to make a good living.
You are a Libra, so you are good at talking to people... perhaps you can become a leasing agent at an apartment complex, perhaps a realtor... you can work at one while going to school to become the other... get what I'm saying? The time you take NOW to get some career training will pay off in security many times over.
2007-10-12 01:16:47 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you're feeling down...understandably. For one, your fiancee knew the conditions of his parole and he chose to violate it. You cannot beat yourself up over that. Depending what his violation is, he may have a mandatory time in jail, then his parole could be re-instated. You are early in your pregnancy and if he goes back to jail, hopefully he will be out before the birth of your baby. I sure hope this is a wake up call for him, as well as yourself. You will have a child soon and you need to be positive role models to your child. Your fiancee shouldn't have to see his child grow up behind bars. This is just a small hurdle. You will get thru this, just so sorry it had to happen at a milestone birthday. I wish you the best and take care of yourself. If your fiancee can't be with you on your birthday, get together with some girlfriends and have a girls night out. I know it won't take the place of him, but do something to try to keep your mind off of your situation...if only for a few hours.
2007-10-12 00:00:13 · answer #3 · answered by bugggs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would seriously start thinking about some things you could add to your life to make it more fulfilling. Maybe go to college if you haven't already. Make some new friends. Take some time to soul search. I think that you know what needs to change. Just get out there and make 21 the start of a new life. Congrats and happy birthday!
2007-10-11 23:50:01 · answer #4 · answered by 354gr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK 1st off HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE!
I wish you weren't feeling sorry for yourself on your birthday, that's kind of sad, but since it's your b'day & all I think you have a perfect right to indulge yourself if you want. So go ahead, feel sorry for yourself.
I know this is a lousy time to be putting this idea to you, but is this man you call a fiance' the kind of husband you deserve?
If he gets put inside for 3 years who's fault is that anyway?
I certainly hope you don't find a way to put any of the blame for that on yourself, because I'll bet my life that it would be totally UNTRUE!
You and your baby deserve a man who knows how to stay out of trouble, & out of jail. If he violated his parole, then he's a loser who deserves to go back in.
Now let me put my own little twist on this & see if it cheers you up a little. Maybe your fiance' didn't know what to get you for your birthday, so he got you a new chance at life without him. LOL
"Happy Birthday Honey, I'm goin in for 3 years now, so you've got plenty of time to find yourself a newer brighter man, just try to get one who isn't a big time loser like me"
Maybe I'll send those words in to Hallmark, & they can publish a card with those words in it. I'm sure you aren't the only woman on the planet who has to carry a burden like yours. But for now, you can feel sorry for yourself, you've earned the right. Just remember, you can earn your way out of it just as easily.
Tomorrow, call your dad & give him a chance to tell you how much he loves you on your birthday. :-)
2007-10-12 00:06:07 · answer #5 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey girl,
i would feel the same way you do right now. we can hope for the best, but that isn't easy to do in a situation like this. i know it might not mean much, but let me just say, "many happy returns of the day". even if tomorrow isn't. all i can say is do something for yourself. take yourself and maybe a friend out for icecream, coffee, dinner. something. i hope things go better than you expect. :)
2007-10-11 23:54:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋