acceptance issues...?

Question

My mom does not accept that I like being a punk/goth. I like the way they dress and I am a nice, kind person who is popular with many friends, but my parents don't understand that I love rock and metal and being this way. They make comments that hurt me like "I'm nasty" and "I dress like a vampire". HELP

Answer 1

Don`t judge a book by its cover. The issue between you & your mom could be resolve by keeping the communication line open also prove to her that you adapted only the good qualities of dressing differently. Some people believe that we the fruit of our parents are only a shadow of what they seems to be.

Answer 2

Most parents don't like when their children dress like that. My brother and I are lucky that our mother is understanding. Just tell them calmly that the way you dress has nothing to do with how you act, and if they continue to rant and rave, then maybe tone it down around them- for instance, only goth up when going out, or take your makeup with you to school and apply it when you get there in the morning so your parents don't see it. Or you can just keep on as you are and try not to let their comments hurt you.

Answer 3

In a way, I can understand what you are saying. When I was your age everyone who was cool wore their hair like the Beetles, & I was no different. I wanted to wear blue jeans & track shoes & a t-shirt to school when our parents wanted us to wear our hair short, with a pair of black dress pants, leather shoes, & a shirt & tie to school. To our parents we looked like we were unkempt, & dirty freaks.

In a few years those who sported our "hippie" look were soon out of style, but even worse, there were so many of us around that we didn't look freaky at all. We looked more like we were NORMAL!!!!!
I have been seeing people sporting the "goth" look since the mid 70's, and no matter how you portray it to everyone else in the world, goth's look like vampire wannabe's.
It is hardly a look that makes people think that you may be approachable. In fact it appears to me that a person who wants to look that way isn't very interested in being friends with anybody else. When I see a goth, I can almost hear that person saying to me, "Look at me, do I shock you?" "I am not a part of your kind, I'm setting myself apart from you, fear me, & loath me"

It suprises me that a person who dresses "goth" would be so concerned about what others think of them, & whether or not they are accepted by others. If you wish to be accepted by others then dress like those who you have the desire to be accepted by. The way you dress now, you can only expect to be accepted by other goth's.
There's an old saying & it goes like this:
"You only get one chance to make a 1st impression"

I think what your parents are saying to you, is that the 1st impression that most people will get of you is "Ugh..she looks like a vampire" It's hard for them to accept that people will be thinking that of their prescious daughter.
That's the way it is, so now YOU decide what you want.

Answer 4

From a parent perspective, they only want you to dress the way you act. They relate the way you dress with the way you act and feel. It is hard to understand for parents who have children who want to dress differently than they did. It will take time and patience for them to accept your different ways. In the meantime, tell them that the comments they make hurt you and that you realize that they don't agree with your sense of style but that you don't agree with theirs either. The reality of it is that there will come a time in your life that you will have to make the conscious decision to dress differently due to college, job interviews etc. Good luck!

Answer 5

All parents do that.Im 27 and my parents still do that.Its just a trend.Thats probably why they bother you for it because they believe that you are trying to fit into a group instead of being original.(not that youre not original) but alot of kids dress that way and they did it when I was in school too, and youre right "Goth" kids are very nice kids, just misunderstood.Just be yourself.Theres a stereotype that Goth kids do drugs and kill people, so your parents are probably just feeding into that stereotype and assuming that youre going to do drugs.Just tell your parents that you cant help who you are and that they just need to love you regardless.

Answer 6

Let them know that the stuff they say is hurtful and tell them that perhaps your goth style is just a phase that will surely fade in some time always remember that saying what you feel can fix any problem!

Answer 7

really, maybe you are only nice and kind to your friends but to your mom will I do not know.... I bet they will understand you if you explain to them why you dress like that.... and you are being sensitive remember parents always comments if they see something bad going on.... PARENTS HAVE SHARP EYED TOWARDS THEIR KIDS THEY WANTED WHAT THE BEST FOR THEM.

Answer 8

Ask your grandparents what your parents were like when they were your age. What fashions, music, friends did they have that grandparents did not like? Then confront your parents (in a friendly tone) "I understand that when you were my age you wore.... , and listened to...., and your parents didn't like it. But you turned out OK. And what about your friend.....?" Don't pass judgment on them. Just remind them of what they were like.

I loved Elvis and wore my hair slicked back. My parents were sure I was going to h$&&. LOL But I was always on the honor roll, has good friends, paid my way thru college. Then when my son had his ear pierced and listened to Pink Floyd, and my daughter was wearing hiking boots with her mini skirt and listened to Kiss, I just smiled. Fashion is not important compared to the heart of the individual.

Answer 9

You have to talk to them. Tell them "This is how I like to dress.............!!" Whatever u do don't do something STUPID like running away or something!! If u avoid them....it won't help ANYTHING!! You'll have to face them sooner-or-later!! That's really the only thing u can do!! Like really!!

I'm glad I could help!! I like helping people!! Especially people who really need my help!! And I think u qualify!! LoL!!

Answer 10

They will get used to it about the time YOU are over this phase in your life