Is something wrong with me??? Am I a bad person??

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for just about 3 years now. I'm a freshman in college I love him to death but it has been nothing but arguing for the past 6 months!! It's just been hell espically since his best friend moved in with him!!

I told my bf the exact truth...I'm begining to have feelings for someone else and the more we fight the more it pushes me towards this other guy and away from my boyfriend.

I somewhat "told" this other guy that I broke up with my boyfriend mind you I've NEVER cheated on my boyfriend I still feel bad. (note: I did not tell my bf this part)

Tomorrow night I'm going out with an ex boyfriend and a best friend. The 3 of us used to always hang out and this is the first time all 3 of us will be around at one time!

I am not one to ditch my boyfriend EVER but my boyfriend and I had plans for tomorrow night and I cancelled on him to hang out with my ex and my best friend.'

Why am I acting like this??
Am I a bad person for doing this??

also note: I told him he has one week to shape up and act like he gives a S*it about me or he's gone.

but i don't know why i'm acting like this!!
I was so happy a week ago

Answer 1

You are not a bad person, just a bad girlfriend. Grow up and stop treating him so poorly.

You told the guy you broke up with your bf, yet you say "I'm not one to ditch my boyfriend" but you lied about having a boyfriend and canceled with him to hang with an ex...stop kidding yourself and stop playing with him!

Answer 2

Well...maybe you're getting bored in your relationship. when you're young & you've been dating the same person for a long time, that can happen. Just make sure that you don't do something that you're going to regret later. Sometimes it's just the thrill of being with someone new, that excitement that just isn't there with the guy you've been dating for so long.
I honestly can't tell you whether or not you should feel bad. If you do, then you I guess you should, and if you don't then I wouldn't worry about it. The only thing I could even fault you for is telling the other guy that you & your boyfriend broke up.
Anyways, good luck, with whatever you choose to do, I know, it's a difficult position to be in!

Answer 3

Hi there.
You're not acting like anything. You are reacting to his behaviour. It seems to me that he is more focussed on his friend that moved in. Maybe he likes the thought of single life and hanging out with his buddies. Don't blame yourself. From what you've said, you have been quite understanding. And don't question your reactions to how he has been. You seem to be questioning yourself more than him. He is the one who has to answer for his actions. I have a feeling that he likes the single lifestyle with his buddies. There is nothing wrong with you. Go out, have a great time with your friends. You will see that you will probably enjoy yourself more than you think and will soon feel more confident to move on. If you have been with a guy for three years, he should be more committed to you. Confront him with this. If he doesn't agree, dump him, move on and you never know, this new guy could be the RIGHT GUY. Good luck and let us know how things go for you. Cheers,
Nedbella

P.S. You are not a bad person.

Answer 4

Oh honey, take it from me, I've been with my boyfriend for 5 yrs and I was in the same boat as you. I'd never cheated on him ever but I started having feelings for this other guy. I would talk to him on the phone and kind of lead him on like I would be with him and ditch my bf. I felt beyond horrible. We were in a huge slump and then one day, it just clicked, I love my bf what the hell am I doing with this other guy, I'm just in to him cause he's showing me more attention then my current bf. Well we have been together for 5 yrs. So either it will click for you to leave your bf or to stay with him it's only a matter of time, just wait it out! Good Luck and don't make any rash decisions.

Answer 5

What do you date for? I ask this because basically dating is searching for a mate...in your case husband. So if you "date" one person how can you find what you want. Of course we need to understand what a date is. An event shared by two or more people that share interest. When you become bf/gf you are saying ok I have picked this person to see if we would be good for each other as husband and wife. This is courtship. You also need to have a list of qualities you want in a man. Do not lower expectations or morals for anyone.

Answer 6

your changing an getting older, an you know girls mature faster than boys. but on the other hand you are being a tad bit stank towards your dude. what did he do in the past 6 months or didn't do that made you so upset or funky acting with him? first you need to figure that out. if you just want to move on an play the field than you need to be up front with him. he may be mad at first but at least you got the truth out an cleared your chest. but don't go jumping into another relationship cause its only going to end bad. just think about the word KARMA.

Answer 7

bad only if the persons you go out with think they have a chance w. u (saying u broke up w. the boyfriend is the WORST LYING! How would u feeel if someone did that to u?? You'd nbe wasting your emotions/time, & so are they!
& U KNOW IT!).
Your doing what too many do: you want to keep someone in the 'position' of your lover (boyfriend), & not leave it empty, cause your used to it/don't want to be alone, & in despair.

Problem is your hurting an innocent person.

Answer 8

you just sound like you're trying to convince yourself that what you're doing is ok. truth be told, it's not the best thing in the world. it doesn't mean you're a horrible person, it just means you're not acting like the best person you could be. DO NOT cancel your plans. Sounds like you need a night of freedom. But don't lie to people and say you're broken up, especially if you 'love' him. It sounds like you don't want to lose your bf unless something better comes along, which is natural. it just means you want security. go with your gut though, and don't string him along if you like someone else. you just have to make some decisions, because if you keep sitting in the middle zone, you're just going to sink farther and farther.

Answer 9

No your wrong your boyfriend is only doing this because he cares about you and he is scared that he is going to lose you and if he was ditching you to go and see one of his ex girlfriends how would you feel if you really do love him like it sounds you do then forget about your friends and go out with him if he is trying to make plans to fix it the least you can do is try and work it out go with your boyfriend you only have one boyfriend you can have loads of friends but i know if i made a date with my girlfriend and she ditched me for some friends id be gone but good luck!

Answer 10

We have phases too. And if his roommate does not like you you are screwed all he will do is bag on you.......three years is a long time to just toss away. If you got something special hold on to it, you never want to be at a point you wish you could cross over a bridge you burned. It hurts a lot less knowing its done for good than havin feelings inside that have to be left dormant. But most of all just do what makes you happy.