why am i wierd?

Question

so today in school, we talked about punishment.
like for our kids, if we should hit them or not.
and i said i won't hit my kids, but i will scream at them.
i just don't find hitting someone, will teach them their lesson.
that's harsh. but if i gave them a good scream, they know who's boss.

and everyone was like, "your so stupid and wierd."

i just don't want to hurt the kid to teach them a lesson.

Answer 1

"screaming" too much can lead to depression and low self esteem for the kids. Go ahead and scream at them. Scream at them until they feel "stupid" like they "cant get anything right".

I'm not saying it's wrong to raise your voice every now and then. but I find it funny how people say "hitting/spanking" is harsh, then turn around and says theyr'e planning on "screaming" at their kids.

Sounds like your classmates are right.

Answer 2

When you scream at children, it shows that you are not in control as the adult. You have to remember that although they are children, they have feelings too. How would you feel if someone screamed at you every time you did something wrong? I'm sure you would be angry, embarrassed, frustrated, etc. Screaming will only instill fear in the child. They will act nervous and anxious when they get older. I know b/c my parents screamed at us when we were kids sometimes. It's really not a good feeling at all. You feel as if you are walking on egg shells every time that parent come into the room. Although you are striving to do everything perfectly, you know your going to do something to get the out of control parent started. Trust me, if you do this to your children, they will grow up with lots of resentment. They may even begin to scream at you as well as others. This is not a good thing. People will not want to be around your kids if they act this way either. And it will be all thanks to YOU. I don't know if you have any children or not, but I think it would be good for you to take some anger management classes asap! There are other ways to discipline children besides screaming at them. It's ok if you don't want to spank either. Just remember that disciplining a child, no matter what method you choose, is supposed to produce POSITIVE results, not negative ones.

Answer 3

You don't think screaming at somebody will cause any harm? It might not be physical abuse but it will cause mental issues being screamed at all the time. I can tell you from experience that they will just tune you out and you will be one very frusterated parent. I suggest before you even think of having children, you take a parenting class yourself. The key is to be consistent and that you and your husband ( I wont say boyfriend because I dont condone having children when you are not commited) be on the same page raising your child. You wouldn't believe the amount of people out there raising children, and playing one against the other. That doesn't work either. I don't think you are weird, you just don't have a clue, most people don't until they have had kids.
I know my husband and I sought help when our disciplinary tactics weren't working. That's smart because we had no clue what we were doing wrong. Instead of fighting amongst our selves we found somebody who has BTDT before. Not saying we're perfect parents right now, but we're on the right track. Best wishes!!

Answer 4

Well, I was with you on this one. My kids dont seem to listen to me unless I yell at them to get there attention. I don't like to hit them because i was hit too alot. That really did'nt teach me anything not only that I'm honestly scared to cross the line that brings you back to your childhood beatings. That's why I don't hit\spank.
There has to be something else. I agree that yelling is not the best way to get through to them because yes you can traumatize a kid that way.
I dont think you are weird or stupid. We as parents need to keep control of the situation and find a way to get through to them individually. Kids are different and react differently. Some may learn the first time around from a spanking ,yelling,timeout or taking their toys from them. Others just don't. We just have to figure them out individually.

Answer 5

Hitting a child does not really teach them but talking to them does. Screaming will only make them more determined to ignore you and will just give you a major headache before it is over. Talk to the child and if you have to (when they are very young) smack their hand or swat their butt. By the time they are three years old, or about,this won't be necessary.

Answer 6

No you are not weird. I don't believe in spanking a child. I don't personally believe they learn anything from it. I try not to yell either, because you are basically throwing a temper tantrum yourself. I was told about this book 123 Magic by Thomas W Phelan. It's effective discipline for children 2-12. It's a no talking, no spanking, no hitting, way of diciplining. It's amazing and it works. We have a 2 and a 4 year old. I bought it at Barnes and Noble for like $15. Check it out!

Answer 7

You are not weird. You have a right to your opinion. I don't think screaming will work however. If you are against spanking, you will find another method of punishing, like taking away a favourite toy or something.

Answer 8

Screaming at your kids will make them eventually completely ignore you at best, and will damage them psychologically at worst. Time-outs, positive reinforcement, along with the rare, well-placed spanking done calmly with no trace of anger and well- explained is much more effective.

Answer 9

Remember ,your children will turn out,and mimic just like you,so if you want your children to turn out ,a loud person then carry on screaming at your child.I know a mother who really shouts at her children in public,ithas made her son the biggest bully in school.

Answer 10

I agree with Jimmy T. When i have my son if he misbehaves, he will get 2 warnings to settle down and then he will get a smack on the butt and privledges taken away. Yelling and screaming wont do a thing as they get older they will just ignore you!