was at work and my girlfriend sent me a text telling me how she felt about the relationship this is what was said
"This relationship is hurting me like really badly. I've tried everything in my power to make it work."
"I have to call you, I had to drive six hours away to pick you up or you would have had no way home, I had to lend you money, I always have to drive to your apartment, I had to buy you cards when we were in a fight, I had to be the one to always apologize when things went wrong."
"You pay for John at a restraunt but then tell me you can't aford to pay my share of the bill, You lend John money but then can't even afford to take us out on a date, you chose John over me to take on a hot air balloon ride over the mountains!! Who are you dating here me or John??
I'm confused....
I don't even know what to say to that.....
2007-10-11 13:37:05 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
note: John is my best friend from when I was five. I've known him now for 16 years of my life. John had a hard time with his family He dropped out of high school and does a lot of drugs. Yes i give him money for weed. He just got a job and I'm not making him pay rent at my apartment. His father and step-mother are now getting a divorce and it's not good for him to stay there.
My girlfriend said either he goes or I go. I can't just kick John out he has nowhere to go. He never has any money i will admit that and now that he has a job I won't have to pay for his weed anymore. Yes I have given him money for gas but he has no money he just got a job!
what does she expect me to do?
I'm not kicking him ou
2007-10-11 13:45:04 · update #1
it sounds like you are an a**hole. i hope she dumps you.
also, how are you confused? are you that dumb?
2007-10-11 13:40:15 · answer #1 · answered by holymonx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't know who this John is. If he's your brother or an old friend you can't over look, you should learn to pay more attention to the girl in your life, not the boy (of course if you're not gay).
Girls require attention by principle. If you're dating someone, you should be able to allocate the bigger half of the attention you've got for people around you to him or her. Now this girl is really furious because you're allocating that attention to the wrong person and placing her in the second row.
There's a common test to find who people love the most or their soul mate. All you need to do is ask them "who will you take with yourself to an island lost at sea"? Especially in rare occasions that happen in life, like a trip on a hot air balloon, a ride on a nice cruiser on the pacific, the person you take with yourself as companion is your soul mate. If your soul mate is John or anyone other than the girl you're dating, you should avoid dating at all, or simply turn your attention towards your date in a meaningful and logical way. Your old friends will understand this for sure, for they will have to do the same as the start dating.
Cheer up and try to follow the guidelines above and mend your relationship, if you mean to of course.
2007-10-11 20:57:22 · answer #2 · answered by fakelinker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing you can say man. What's the deal with this John guy?
You went with a dude on a Hot Air Balloon ride instead of her, buy him meals?
Sounds like she was working hard and you were hardly working. Time to find another girl since you'll soon be dumped or continue going out with John. I don't know why she's still sticking around.
2007-10-11 20:41:31 · answer #3 · answered by Dude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you paid more attention to John than you did her and she is rightfully hurt. Can John give you the attention and love that she can? As for the expenditures maybe you need to get a second job or something so you will have enough money.
2007-10-11 20:41:24 · answer #4 · answered by Fool 4 Tommy Collins ? ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like your girlfriend feels like 2 things are going one:
1) you put this "john" over her and put more effort into your relationship with him than with your girlfriend.
2) when there is a fight or something is wrong, she feels like she is trying to fix it, but you aren't.
she is feeling like she is doing everything to make the relationship work, but you are not making much of an effort.
remember, relationships are both give and take. if she feels like she's always giving you rides and giving you money, but you don't take her out... that's not good. and if she feels like you choose to take your other friend to things, but then say you can't afford to take her out - she feels like you don't care about her wants, needs, feelings, and your relationship.
now, i'm not a part of this relationship, and i don't know either of you... but from that text, i get the feeling you are alienating her. you need to talk to her, listen to how she feels, and then make the necessary changes if you really care about her. if you don't, then cut your losses, learn from your mistakes, and put more effort into your next girlfriend.
good luck!
2007-10-11 20:44:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the things she is saying are right, then I agree with her. She has every right to feel hurt in the relationship. If you truly care about her, you better do something to turn things around so you can hold on to her.
2007-10-11 20:42:25 · answer #6 · answered by Sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She complains about how much she has to do, then writes a freaking novel on her phone through text-messaging.
She could have just picked up a phone.
She thrives on her own self-made drama. Let her go.
2007-10-11 20:41:55 · answer #7 · answered by T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it kind of means that you pick that guy john over her. and that she doesn't feel like its okay. becouse well its really isn't. because it does look like you 'date' him not her.
but what she meant was that you're jsut with her for a hook up or for the fact of going out. not that you care to buy her dinner once in a while, simple things like that. they matter.
i dont really know whats not to get
2007-10-11 20:43:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is feeling neglected......i mean it sounds to me like you are more interested in spending time with "John" than you are with your girlfriend..... all she is saying is she wants you to do nice things for her for once.. i mean take her out to a movie and dinner.. you pay.. be sweet to her, buy her flowers.. i mean it seems to me like you dont really care for her at all... thats not so good... if you really care for her and want to fix the relationship.... do something really sweet for her.. just because.....treat her well and dont always ignore her or leave her out when your with your friends....good luck though...
2007-10-11 20:44:03 · answer #9 · answered by britt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you and your girlfriend better start talking! If you are sure she is your girlfriend, treat her as such, (that means treat her as you would like to be treated) but don't use her as it sounds in her text message.
Good Luck!
2007-10-11 20:51:04 · answer #10 · answered by Badass 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you were a crappy boyfriend. Tell her you're sorry and she deserves to be treated better than that. Then do her a favor and leave her alone.
2007-10-11 20:40:55 · answer #11 · answered by LovetoTravel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋