My parents just told me I'm adopted and I'm 14!!?

Question

They just told me...
And I freaked out now they wont even tell me anything else about it, its not fair.

All they said is des your adopted and changed the subject is it fair that they wont tell me?

Answer 1

Explain to your parents that they have just told you something huge and you need to discuss this further.

If this does not work, try and find a counsellor and explain your problem. They may try to mediate for you or put you in touch with a service that deals with this type of problem

The very best of luck

Answer 2

I was adopted (at the age of 6 weeks). I've been lucky, Mum & Dad (that's who they are to me, even if they're not my biological parents) told me when I was really young, it has never been a secret. I've got a Sister who's also adopted ( no blood relation to me) & a Brother (Mum & Dad's).

I agree that it is not fair that they haven't told you earlier, but don't get having a go & blowing your top at them.
Just think, they have brought you up as one of their own & given you all the love that they can.
It must be very difficult to tell someone you love, that they are not your flesh & blood, even though you love them as if they were.

Take some time out & think of a way to talk to them about this calmly.
I hope you still love them ( they are your parents after all! ) & can find a way to work this out.

I wish you all the best. :-)

Answer 3

I know it might be hard to accept but you need to realize that your parents love you and your biological mother probably did what was best for you. She might not have been able to care for you and your parents have.

Focus on what you do have- loving parents and a stable home. That's more then some other 14 year olds have. Giving birth doesn't make you a mother- loving and caring for a child does.

I think you need to calm down. When you are older they will probably give your more information. By then you'll be able to make the decision whether or not you want to pursue a reconciliation with your biological mother, if thats even possible.

Answer 4

Let things cool off for a little while. It must have been very difficult for your parents to tell you they adopted you, so maybe they just need to get used to the idea that you know now. What your parents need more than anything right now is to know that you still love them. They need to know that no matter who your biological parents are, they are your parents, who love you and have raised you. Later on, when they are feeling more secure, they will be more open about discussing the adoption with you.

Answer 5

I understand that you are upset right now....when you freaked out so did your parents and that is why they shut down and said nothing ells to you....give it some time and they will be happy to talk about it a little latter.........remember it was also very difficult for them to tell you about it as it was for you to hear it. They may not show it but I am sure they talked about it allot before telling you as they love you and they did not know how you would respond to the news.

Here is a web site with lots of info about orphanages in the Ukraine were I help...there are lots of photos and articles about orphans in general.......Good luck and Remember you are one of the Blessed one's

www.deti.zp.ua/eng

Here are some states from over sea's Orphanages.....be happy and rejoice that they choice YOU to love and protect as there daughter........
Are these happy children?
Little knowen facts about the orpahnges of the Ukraine

• If an orphan in Ukraine is not adopted by the age of 5 there is only a 20% chance that the child will ever be adopted.

• 60% of all the girls who graduate the system will become victims of human trafficking and be sold into illicit trades.

• 10% of all Orphans will commit suicide after leaving the orphanage before their 18th birthday.

• 70% of the boys will enter a life of crime.

• Only 27% of these youth will find work.

Answer 6

Of course this would come as a big shock to you and it perfectly natural for you to have freaked out but that is probably why your parents dont want to talk about it any further, they are worried you will continue to be upset. Give it some time and when you have calmed down enough and thought through things go to your parents and explain to them that you have now had time to process the information and feel that you are mature enough and calm enough to handle more information, would they please sit down and talk about it with you. If you show your parents you can handle things they may be more open to discussing things. Good luck

Answer 7

Keep in mind that it's just as difficult for them, too.

You ARE their little girl. They were the ones that held you, changed you, read you stories, etc. They weren't just given the roles of parent out of a genetic accident...you are their daughter by choice.

Keep in mind that they've been antsy about this day for 14 years, and you freaked out.

Be loving. Stop freaking out. Talk to them reasonably about wanting to know your origins, and understand that they may have a good reason if they withhold the information at this time.

Answer 8

Wow, that's huge. It's not fair that they won't tell you but they probably don't know how to since you freaked out when they first brought it up. Give everyone a chance to cool down then go tell them that you're glad they're your parents and ask them to tell you how they came to adopt you. That should get them talking.

Answer 9

I think your parents are freaked out too because they told you the truth and don't know how to deal with it. Bring the subject up again in a nonthreatening environment. Try to not be emotional. It's really hard to deal with someone when emotional vomit is coming out of his/her mouth instead of audible words. There's a time and a place for everything, be patient.

Answer 10

Give them time. Adoptive parents have fears, too. They are probably worried that you'll choose your birth parents over them or that you'll find your birth parents and they'll not be nice people and they want to protect you from that.

They chose you to be their child and they don't want anything to change that.

Affirm that you love them and that they are your real parents. Over time start asking questions and maybe you can learn about your past together as a family.