How do you manage and/or integrate YOUR life with your partner? To what things do you go with him/her, or like them to come with you? What things do you not share together?
Here's why i'm asking... It's hell for me. He doesn't want anything to do with other people in my life, and says that when i am with him and his family or friends, that they all look at me weird 'cause i'm like his shadow or something. I am kinda shy but i do try to be polite. It's like we're good only when we're completely alone, and don't have a life other than being together.
2007-10-11 13:12:54 · 10 answers · asked by jade 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Welcome to a vision of how your life could be married! Do you like it? Probably not. Sounds like he's using you as an excuse for him being anti-social when it comes to people in your life.
Maybe he's uncomfortable around people in general which is why he found someone who's shy and may not like going out all the time. If so you need to find out if that's the case. Express your concerns and see where it gets you.
2007-10-11 13:17:29 · answer #1 · answered by Dude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will always be hell for you unless you do something about it. I have been married for 7 years and my husband still can't stand half of my family. But I enjoy the things that I do with them and he dosen't have to be involved. Our rule after a lot of fighting about it is that I can do what I want with the people that I want and the invite is always there for him to come along. The same goes for me. I only go to the things that I want to with his family and he does what he wants with them. Just because you are together does not mean that you have to be a "unit" in everything that you do. Also his people might feel weird around you because you are so shy. Maybe try being a part of a conversation the next time and just see where it goes. YOu have to involve yourself before they can come to accept you. If you don't give them the oppertunity to get to know you they can't.
2007-10-11 20:22:57 · answer #2 · answered by rsscismss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that being in a relationship means not only being able to relate to each other, but to the people around you as well. Being the kind of couple that is only best when you're alone is not healthy. Humans are social beings. That's why we have friends.
I think it's a shame that you feel restricted when in a social gathering with him. You should be able to enjoy time with each other's friends and family when out together.
Talk to him some more about it. Maybe it's a sign that this relationship isn't going to be what you want it to be. You already said it's hell for you.
2007-10-11 20:20:09 · answer #3 · answered by M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be able to do alot together. If you have hobbies then do those things together. You can work out together,go to the movies, take dance classes etc. It is fine to see your friends once in a while but he should also be comfortable enough to do things with you and his friends. Maybe not all the time but if he asks for a lot of time alone and doesnt want you there that could be a sign of commitment issues.Maybe he is not ready to be that serious yet?. What he said sounded kind of rude.Like you were in the way or something. you should not have to feel that way. Do you ever feel like he is still not committing completelty?>Trust you gut.
2007-10-11 20:18:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anna H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Compromise, Make time to sit and thouroughly discuss the issue with each other. It seems that you both want each other in one anothers lives, so talking through what things you want him to do with you, and what things youre willing to do with/for him will probably get you further than you can imagine just thinking about it. AND if there is no compromising, then youve spared troubled times by finding out that you two arnt good for each other. Hope This Helps!!!!
2007-10-11 20:23:00 · answer #5 · answered by Chrissy WB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is trying to isolate you, and this is very unhealthy. Additionally, if his family does not take to you, you are buying long-term trouble with him. You should be able to share EVERYTHING... friends, family, etc. It is normal to want to go out with your girlfriends one night a week and he does the same with the guy friends ... this does not sound right though. It sounds like this guy has some issues.
Also - it may just take time to come out of your shell with his family. That's ok. It doesn't sound like he is making you feel more comfortable with the situation.
Agree with Anna H and M below.
2007-10-11 20:16:51 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For your informaton I have 41 yrs of marriage behind me Ok Here the problem in your relationship You husband is VERY jealous thres no cure for jealoudy He will put you down in anyway he can to destroy totaly your selfestem REthink your relation with before its to late because he will not get better
2007-10-11 20:24:13 · answer #7 · answered by lala 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well. We talk about whatever we feel like talking about.
It was hard at first sharing things, but it gets easier,i promise.
It's possible he just doesn't want to compromise, that is something you need to talk about!!
Don't be his shadow,have an opinion,talk. They might be looking at you strange, because they think your stuck up, or that you don't want to be there with them.
2007-10-11 20:17:23 · answer #8 · answered by Two Peas 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to drag him along if you wanna go out. Some time apart is good. I go out with my friends and my boyfriend goes out with his. There's no rule that says they have to go with you.
GET YOUR OWN LIFE!
2007-10-11 20:17:43 · answer #9 · answered by Melissa S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats how it is
2007-10-11 20:15:53 · answer #10 · answered by mccormick 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋