I always feel so depressed, I feel stuck, am I going to turn out anti-social and a failure?

Question

Nothing in my life seems to be going in order right now. I currently go to college, doing ok in grades, good in health physically and financially. I don't know why... ever since I started dating I lost practically all of my friends. I feel like I became someone else... I can't connect with anyone anymore. I lost almost all of my self-esteem and confidence. I feel like people don't want to talk to me. Its hard to make conversation again and its very hard to make new friends. I always feel so depressed. Nobody wants to talk to a depressed person to drag them down...I see other people with friends and laughing, having conversations and a good time. I get jealous now... I used to have lots of friends and hang out all the time...

Being depressed is the worst thing and I don't want any meds. currently seeing councelor but seems like they don't understand.

Answer 1

It sounds to me that your bf is the direct cause of your deppresion Let see the big picture here . You start losing your friends after you were with that guy If you want to be honesst with yourself this guy is controling all your social life I am 65 so listen , just for a minute ;; If you keep seing this guy within a year you will be totaly destryed Now any kind of decision is yours

Answer 2

I can relate to how you feel. It seems like everyone else is inside this plate glass window laughing and having fun while you're outside alone. It's possible that maybe you're going through some changes in your personality, so the friends you used to have are no longer compatible with you. These changes are scary at the time, but they happen during the college age. It doesn't mean that either you or the ex-friend is a bad person, just that you no longer have the same things in common.

As for your loss of confidence, can you think of any particular incidents that were the catalyst? Did you have a bad relationship and/or breakup? Having problems with a romantic partner can lead to low self-confidence and, as a result, a loss of friends. Overfocusing on a girlfriend can also cause people to neglect their friends. People tend to think that if they are not successful romantically, no one else in the world will care about them, but that's not necessarily true.

I'd venture to say that if you started trying to talk to more people, you could at least gain a few acquaintances. Over time, these can become friends. Because you think no one wants to talk to you, you probably don't approach them. Often, I do the same thing. You just have to ignore the self-defeating voice and join in conversations. If they reject you, it reflects far more on you than it does on them. First, try joining conversations with your classmates to give yourself practice. Don't initiate until you are ready. When you are, take small steps, such as saying hi or asking how class is going. Then you can move on to other topics. Over time, you may discover someone else who's in the same boat. I hope that we both find the bonds of friendship we are looking for.

Answer 3

Sweetness, it sounds that you NEED the meds. ****, I'M depressed, but I gave in and tried the medication; I started on Lexapro, when I was 20, and it worked within the first 3 days. My days were brighter, I thought more positively and I was just happier and very content with things.

Sure, it IS like a fake "high", but some of us just can't deal emotionally with everything that comes our way. Trust me, I've been there and I'm still dealing with things.

My crappy mother, (Mommy Dearest I tell myself =P ) pretty much advised that I leave the house if I was going to "do nothing" all day. I help her each and every day with the kids that are currently in her day care. I'm usually very nice to them all, except for one kid, I have to tell him no sometimes because he can be SO naughty.

In the end, I moved out (Thank the stars above!!), and now I'm at my aunt's pad for a couple days. Hopefully, I can stay for at least a week (she said I could stay until I get on her nerves, LOL) and I can get a job. I will try each and every day, whether it's getting applications, and returning them, or calling them to see if they like me!

Sorry, I had to tell you my life story real quick! hehe Or at least what I'm mainly dealing with currently.

Keep seeing that therapist if you want, but eventually, you may want to see them less and less, cause they can only do so much.

Again, I've been there! I've been through Christine, then through Jesse, he was the sweetest. Then a year later, in 2006, I met Joan. I told her about how mean and somewhat two-faced my mother can be (she'd HATE the fact that I'm telling you this - she likes thing "private". But trust me, she has damaged me almost beyond repair. Back to the main story - Joan was going through something in 2007, early 2007 I believe, so I changed to my last therapist, Leslie.

She's nice too, and we've had a nice time together, and she taught me about the skitzo-effective disorder which I have. >_>

Um, that's about it. I don't wish to see Leslie anymore because I have absorbed all I could from her, I think. It turns out that I will probably see her once a month now, which is good for me.

I always forget our appointments lately. And in the past, when I had Jesse and Joan, I looked forward to most of the visits. Now it's just old.

Good luck! And get on those meds, honey. It's for your own good!! Find a good doctor and you'll be set!

--Adrian

P.S. Email me if you need to. I will answer. I do prefer my other email though; [e-mail]

Get on those meds (Please ^_^;) and start to live again.

School can be tough in college, if you barely know anyone. I went twice, and I think I made more friends the first time around.

It takes practice. Talk about things you have in common and just ask them questions - let them know you're interested!!

Bye!

:-)

Answer 4

I was like this. How do you feel when your with your partner? sad or happy or annxious? Could you be too attached to him/her . Your friends have seen that they assume you are no longer interested in them? Have a few nights with yaw friends see how you cope.If you do feel like this maybe youd be best with out a partner,does he or she abuse you in anyway, put you down,control you? Mbe have a break for a bit.Tell your college councelor?How do your friends shape up to your parner? They not friends if they dont help you when yaw down.Get a social life out with the partner,a club? Dont depend on the one person , i learned the hard way. Get back in touch with your friends one by one gradually and make new friends. Your isolation is making you down and so leads to low self esteem. You need a network but a good, small one. Mr popular isnt always my.happy. Decide if you want a life totally devoted to your partner or a balance of friends along with her him.

Answer 5

Maybe you could hang out with your friends more? Try to get your mind off of everything, play a game, exercise, watch tv, browse around on the internet. You could try to make new friends, a few of my best friends I talk to over yahoo, I like long-distant friendships.. Best wishes