if you have problems with controversial type q's, just exit through the door on left, thanks....okay, i'm in my late 20's i just graduated college in May. I have no potential bf's and I'm a virgin, lol. I have NEVER wanted kids I was always the anti- baby having girl in my group. Now these past few months everytime I see a baby i'm in LOVE, lol. I want one! No, seriously I want to have a child. What is all this about?? I am wondering, if this is just a phase i'm nervous b/c obviously children are not "phases." I want to know from moms, do you think if I had a baby - I would go back to my mind set of wishing I didn't have one? I guess what i'm really asking is - do women sometimes regret having kids even if they wanted one at the time....I'm trying to sort out all these feelings about becoming a mother vs. not. With most of my female friends it just seems like the choice is so clear. Thanks.
PS don't badger me about unwed mothers - I'm going to find a husband before I have a child.
2007-10-11 12:21:18 · 6 answers · asked by camillabrightside 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I'm not 28, btw - I'm 26.
2007-10-11 12:32:05 · update #1
I think many women, myself including, don't think about kids at all through most of their 20s. Call it the biological clock if you must, but something does change as we age. (Not that 26 is aged - LOL!)
Some of it comes into focus when you meet a lifetime partner. My husband absolutely wanted kids. (He'd throw around numbers like 4 or 5 - gasp!) I was less certain. And then, all of a sudden, we were ready and I was baby crazed.
But honestly? I can look back and say that, had I met a man who never wanted kids, I'd probably be fine without one.
I don't ever regret having my son, and I think it is pretty rare to feel that you've made a mistake - assuming you're in a committed relationship and have a measure of financial security and personal maturity when your child is born.
But I understand your sense of uncertainty, and I can only say that you'll probably sort it out when the time comes.
2007-10-11 14:07:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a mom of two. And I can tell you that a baby is the most wonderful, loving, joyful, frustrating, tiring and amazing relationship you will ever have.
It is not an easy task but the rewards outcome the frustrations.
I know you hear it before, that your life will never be the same. But is true.
You have to ask yourself the following questions:
1. Are you ready to sacrifice, ALL your free time?
2. Are you ready to give up sleeping for more that a hour or two at a time for at least the first 8 or 9 months?
3. And after that, are you ready to never be able to sleep in the morning again?
If I had to define myself in one word now, it would be "mother".
Before babies, I would have said, adventurous, passionate, fun, etc.
I am not trying to discourage you, just that this is one of those things that people don't have a clue until they are deep into it.
With that said, there is no greater love than that of a mother. If you forget or ignore all that I have said so far, just remember this: "If you think that you know what love is, you are mistaken, you do not know the definition of love until you have a child."
2007-10-11 12:34:49 · answer #2 · answered by Annie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, let me start off by saying that I am almost 26, have had a boyfriend (now fiancee) for over five years and I am a virgin as well. Nothing wrong with that. Out of curiosity, do you have a man in your life? If not, it could be that you are wanting to fill a void that exists by having a baby, thus gaining this amazing love from something that is yours alone. I say, start a relationship first, and the baby yearnings should disappear (at least for the immediate.) Good for you not jumping into anything too quickly and trying to get as much advice as you can on the matter. God bless.
2007-10-11 12:31:08 · answer #3 · answered by Faith C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I beleive its your body way of letting you know its ready to reproduce. You have waited which is good. I didn't experiance my body telling me its ready now. My body just told me I was to young. I got pregnant at 16. I had my daughter 10 wks early. I would just pray about your decisions and see if you are mentally ready to be a mother. Also to see if a child will fit into your life right now. If not you can still make plans for a child in the future and maybe this will help you curb your appetite for a child at this time. My friend also was just like you the one who didn't want kids. Now she has three and seems to be a much a better mother than me. Good Luck!
2007-10-11 12:35:20 · answer #4 · answered by momof6 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i cant answer for eveyone else. but when i found out i was pregnant, i didnt think i was ready. pregnancy wasnt the greatest thing in the world, but the moment i held my son for the first time i cried. your whole life changes. in a good way! i cant imagine not being a mom now. (my son is 8 months old). i know it will be hard in the next 18 years lol. but im ready for it. i think thats the only thing you can ask yourself. are you ready for someone to depend on you 24/7
2007-10-11 12:28:06 · answer #5 · answered by mandii 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 28 its your timing clock who is ticking No its not a phase Its the nature calling the nature Go ahead and have one
2007-10-11 12:29:11 · answer #6 · answered by lala 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋