Get yourself comfortable, and I'll tell you the wonderful, heart-warming story of Mary and the Poop, who pooped Mary and Joe, good and proper.
One day, the angel of the Lord came to Joe, and told him that his fiancee Mary was going to have a baby, though not in the usual way. After Joe had blinked and gulped a bit, the angel said, "Don't worry, you can take Mary as your wife after the baby is born. God isn't a complete bar steward, you know."
So Joe went home, happy as a dog with two tails. But who did he meet at the door but a man from the Vatican, who had a troop of Swiss soldiers with him. The Poopal envoy informed Joe that the soldiers would be with his wife all the time until she was very old and taken up to heaven. This was to make sure that she never had sexual intercourse. Joe would have to make his own sleeping arrangements. As an extra precaution, Mary would have two nuns to stay with her at night. So Mary and Joe, who were so looking forward to their nights together, had to stay apart at night, always, and Mary always had those soldiers with her wherever she went.
It's no wonder Joe died at an early age. It's no fun counting timber in the evenings.
2007-10-11 15:06:44
·
answer #1
·
answered by miller 5
·
0⤊
1⤋
Jesus had 4 brothers born to Mary and Joseph plus some sisters too (at least 3 as the bible refers to 'all of his sisters)
the brothers are named as
James joses Simon and (cant remember)
and James the brother of Jesus wrote the book of James in the new testament
and that doesn't exclude Mary from having been a virgin AT THE TIME OF THE BIRTH OF JESUS - but not after Joseph made an honest woman of her
2007-10-11 14:06:42
·
answer #2
·
answered by Aslan 2
·
2⤊
1⤋
Jesus was born before his step brothers. His half brothers were born of Mary and Joseph. Jesus was conceived by the Holy Spirit. So because Mary was a virgin when she gave birth to Jesus the answer is no. She was a virgin until She and Joseph concieved Jesus brothers.
I got a thumbs down and this is fact...lol
2007-10-11 12:17:08
·
answer #3
·
answered by bobbo342 7
·
2⤊
1⤋
James, Jude, Judas, Simon.... the first two wrote books of the Bible bearing their name. There is a full list prepared by Eusebius in the 3rd century. I forget all of their names.
The virginity of Mary existed until after Jesus was born .....Matthew 1:24-25 Then Joseph, being aroused from sleep, did as the angel of the Lord commanded him and took to him his wife,and did not know her till she had brought forth her firstborn Son....
As for Jesus' brothers being figurative, this is a pretty weak arguement, since the BIble states they ran around with his mother. Jesus says that his figurative brothers are any who listen, so it cannot be a figurative statement (otherwise, it is a comparison of figurative brothers to being a figurative brother....)
Matthew 12:46 While He was still talking to the multitudes, behold, His mother and brothers stood outside, seeking to speak with Him.
2007-10-11 12:23:59
·
answer #4
·
answered by Cuchulain 6
·
2⤊
1⤋
Rome says that Mary remained a virgin, but indeed the Bible says Jesus had siblings one was James. Mary was a virgin when Jesus was born but did not remain one. That is not Biblical.
2007-10-11 12:19:27
·
answer #5
·
answered by Doma 5
·
3⤊
1⤋
His two brothers were actually step brothers from Joseph (I guess he sinned)
Still, though, many people claimed to be a virgin. Heck, i think alexander the greats dad was supposedly born from a virgin.
Every single culture has its own magical births and such. Its all BS.
2007-10-11 12:15:01
·
answer #6
·
answered by SteelRain 3
·
2⤊
2⤋
Decode this lyrics " I will survive"
Watch internet picture " Sobrevivre"
What is the definition of Jesus?
What is the definition of Virgin Mary?
Luke 9.55-56
What do you think?
2007-10-11 16:43:57
·
answer #7
·
answered by Anonymous
·
0⤊
0⤋
Jesus' "Brothers" (adelphoi)) = Cousins or Kinsmen
Luke 1:36 - Elizabeth is Mary's kinswoman. Some Bibles translate kinswoman as "cousin," but this is an improper translation because in Hebrew and Aramaic, there is no word for "cousin."
Luke 22:32 - Jesus tells Peter to strengthen his "brethren." In this case, we clearly see Jesus using "brethren" to refer to the other apostles, not his biological brothers.
Acts 1:12-15 - the gathering of Jesus' "brothers" amounts to about 120. That is a lot of "brothers." Brother means kinsmen in Hebrew.
Acts 7:26; 11:1; 13:15,38; 15:3,23,32; 28:17,21 - these are some of many other examples where "brethren" does not mean blood relations.
Rom. 9:3 - Paul uses "brethren" and "kinsmen" interchangeably. "Brothers" of Jesus does not prove Mary had other children.
Gen. 11:26-28 - Lot is Abraham's nephew ("anepsios") / Gen. 13:8; 14:14,16 - Lot is still called Abraham's brother (adelphos") . This proves that, although a Greek word for cousin is "anepsios," Scripture also uses "adelphos" to describe a cousin.
Gen. 29:15 - Laban calls Jacob is "brother" even though Jacob is his nephew. Again, this proves that brother means kinsmen or cousin.
Deut. 23:7; 1 Chron. 15:5-18; Jer. 34:9; Neh. 5:7 -"brethren" means kinsmen. Hebrew and Aramaic have no word for "cousin."
2 Sam. 1:26; 1 Kings 9:13, 20:32 - here we see that "brethren" can even be one who is unrelated (no bloodline), such as a friend.
2 Kings 10:13-14 - King Ahaziah's 42 "brethren" were really his kinsmen.
1 Chron. 23:21-22 - Eleazar's daughters married their "brethren" who were really their cousins.
Neh. 4:14; 5:1,5,8,10,14 - these are more examples of "brothers" meaning "cousins" or "kinsmen."
Tobit 5:11 - Tobit asks Azarias to identify himself and his people, but still calls him "brother."
Amos 1: 9 - brotherhood can also mean an ally (where there is no bloodline).
Exodus 13:2,12 - Jesus is sometimes referred to as the "first-born" son of Mary. But "first-born" is a common Jewish expression meaning the first child to open the womb. It has nothing to do the mother having future children.
Exodus 34:20 - under the Mosaic law, the "first-born" son had to be sanctified. "First-born" status does not require a "second" born.
Ezek. 44:2 - Ezekiel prophesies that no man shall pass through the gate by which the Lord entered the world. This is a prophecy of Mary's perpetual virginity. Mary remained a virgin before, during and after the birth of Jesus.
Mark 6:3 - Jesus was always referred to as "the" son of Mary, not "a" son of Mary. Also "brothers" could have theoretically been Joseph's children from a former marriage that was dissolved by death. However, it is most likely, perhaps most certainly, that Joseph was a virgin, just as were Jesus and Mary. As such, they embodied the true Holy Family, fully consecrated to God.
Luke 1:31,34 - the angel tells Mary that you "will" conceive (using the future tense). Mary responds by saying, "How shall this be?" Mary's response demonstrates that she had taken a vow of lifelong virginity by having no intention to have relations with a man. If Mary did not take such a vow of lifelong virginity, her question would make no sense at all (for we can assume she knew how a child is conceived). She was a consecrated Temple virgin as was an acceptable custom of the times.
Luke 2:41-51 - in searching for Jesus and finding Him in the temple, there is never any mention of other siblings.
John 7:3-4; Mark 3:21 - we see that younger "brothers" were advising Jesus. But this would have been extremely disrespectful for devout Jews if these were Jesus' biological brothers.
John 19:26-27 - it would have been unthinkable for Jesus to commit the care of his mother to a friend if he had brothers.
John 19:25 - the following verses prove that James and Joseph are Jesus' cousins and not his brothers: Mary the wife of Clopas is the sister of the Virgin Mary.
Matt. 27:61, 28:1 - Matthew even refers to Mary the wife of Clopas as "the other Mary."
Matt. 27:56; Mark 15:47 - Mary the wife of Clopas is the mother of James and Joseph.
Mark 6:3 - James and Joseph are called the "brothers" of Jesus. So James and Joseph are Jesus' cousins.
Matt. 10:3 - James is also called the son of "Alpheus." This does not disprove that James is the son of Clopas. The name Alpheus may be Aramaic for Clopas, or James took a Greek name like Saul (Paul), or Mary remarried a man named Alpheus.
"The ever-virgin One thus remains even after the birth still virgin, having never at any time up till death consorted with a man. For although it is written, And knew her not till she had brought forth her first-born Son, yet note that he who is first-begotten is first-born even if he is only-begotten. For the word first-born' means that he was born first but does not at all suggest the birth of others. And the word till' signifies the limit of the appointed time but does not exclude the time thereafter. For the Lord says, And lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world, not meaning thereby that He will be separated from us after the completion of the age. The divine apostle, indeed, says, And so shall we ever be with the Lord, meaning after the general resurrection." John of Damascus, Orthodox Faith, 4:14 (A.D. 743).
2007-10-11 12:14:56
·
answer #8
·
answered by Anonymous
·
5⤊
3⤋
Having brothers and sisters does not preclude Mary as being virgin if Christ was born FIRST.
2007-10-11 12:20:53
·
answer #9
·
answered by swindled 7
·
3⤊
0⤋
If I remember correctly Mary was not touched by a man to conceive Jesus. Also the brothers are younger than Jesus.
2007-10-11 12:18:12
·
answer #10
·
answered by grandma 4
·
2⤊
2⤋