Smile & wink - interpretation?

Question

I'm incredibly quiet, soft-spoken and shy around my coworkers. Recently, I've been starting to slowly open up to a few of them. I talk briefly, but I'm making baby steps. Unfortunately, I still blush whenever attention is drawn to me or if I decide to talk unexpectedly. Mostly I quietly listen to what's going on around me though. When I do keep to myself, I'll notice that if I look up, others are simply observing me. Occasionally they'll smile and wink at me. When this happens I end up smiling back shyly and then quickly glancing downwards automatically.

So my question is, what does their smile and wink mean? (I know it's not flirting b/c they're married)

Also, is my reaction rude - like how I glance down? (I get so worried about how I'm perceived by people)

Answer 1

You are right, they are NOT flirting.
They are encouraging you to interact and smile more. They want to let you know that you are welcomed and liked where you are.
You say that your reaction is to smile and then look down.
This is not rude, as long as you give a little smile. This is important!
You are very lucky that you seem to be working in such a friendly environment. They don't expect you to suddenly switch into a totally open person, but they are obviously hoping that you will come out of shell little by little.
They are just showing you well-meaning.
Keep doing what you're doing: keep coming out of your shell little by little.

good luck.
.

Answer 2

First of all, just because they are married, doesn't mean they aren't flirting. Lots of married people flirt, whether they should or not. It could also be that they think you are pretty or cute, or that they notice that you are really quiet, and they are trying to get a response out of you. It sounds like they are all guys, since you say they are married. Being a guy, and having been there, my guess is that they are in fact being a little flirty with you. If you really want to get more information, crank up your courage and say, "Hey ----, why are you winking at me? That actually may put a stop to it. And no, it isn't rude to glance down. But you might not want to smile first since they might think that in fact you like the flirtatious behavior. The winking could also be an attempt to "get your goat," like a mild form of hazing, since they can see that it makes you uncomfortable. I would just ignore it and look away--try to act like you didn't notice, since not responding discourages the behavior.

Answer 3

there being friendly with the smile and wink..there not sure what to talk to you about cause your so reserved so they smile and wink at ya.

Try opening up because you may come across as rude even though you dont mean it. But im guessing they wink n smile, cause they can tell you are shy..so i wouldn stress :)

you'll come out of your shell eventually

Answer 4

"They're" married? Don't you mean "he" is married?

The definition of flirting is, pretending at wanting more -- not actually wanting it. There's nothing in what you've said that rules out flirting.

If this happened more than once, he's flirting--probably harmlessly; but if you catch someone staring at you more than once it means they're staring at you more than a normal person would... like, he thinks you're cute, but it's no big deal.

If it happened only one time, I'd say that he is just embarrassed to have been caught looking at you when you were not acknowledging him and he had nothing interesting to say to you.

Glancing down without smiling back looks insecure -- like you're scared, or like you're the one embarrassed (it could seem like you think he's attractive too). A tight lipped smile and a blink before looking down would communicate better that you find the behavior uncomfortable and weird.

Answer 5

They're signaling that they like you, they see how hard you're working, and you haven't escaaped their notice. It's frirendly. Your reaction is what one would expect from a shy young lady.

TX Mom
not an expert

Answer 6

They know you are shy and opening up.