is it rude or am I sensitive ( wedding stuff)?

Question

I went out to my wedding venue to take a look around.
while there i brought my friends with me
anyways while talking with the food people. about drinks and food , I explained that I wanted a toast , and was gonna offer wine then the rest would be cash bar.
as well we are ordering Hor durves to be hand passed by suited up waiters ( cocktail reception ) ( i am renting an entire plantation /musume house from the 1700's ) hello expensive.

When we got back in the car on the way home I was explaining what they had on the menue, I forget what hor durve it was but that isn't the point my friend said I should order something else because she didn't like it ... well I told her then I guess you won't eat them will you. then we started talking about the wine and I said i would pay for wine while the party was going but anything after that including beer would be on the people .and she was like " i guess i will only be drinking wine ... Hmmm " I find this rude

she is acting like this is her wedding her likes and her dislikes are what seem to matter. ... it is irritating .. it is like she wants my wedding to be to her liking. there is other guest ......... is this rude or not

Answer 1

Guests, barring any allergies or dietary restrictions, should accept what their host/ess gives them to eat with graciousness. They can choose not to eat it.

You get to choose the menu at your wedding. You get to decide what alcohol you will pay for.

I certainly hope this friend is not in your wedding party, as she sounds like a lot more trouble than she is worth.

Congratulations and good luck!

Answer 2

Is your friend your bridesmaid - that could be awkward? If you have bridesmaids, they should be coming to check out food with you (they're there to offer support, not contrast you). Your friend is being a brat.

It is YOUR wedding. A cash bar is a brilliant idea. It's pretty standard, at least for my age...I'm in my 20s and expect to have a cash bar...wedding party is allowed to have free drinks, but beyond that everyone has to pay. My friends just did a cash bar - but it was made clear by the bartenders that all money for drinks were going directly towards to bride and groom...it worked out really well for the bride and groom. I wouldn't have unreasonably priced drinks, but you shouldn't be expected to foot the bill for everyone's drinks. Your friend is just being a snot. Does she even have any idea how much it costs to buy everyone's drinks?? I've seen some wedding that have loonie bars, that's a good idea. Usually weddings have two bottles of wine per table (white/red) and beyond that, it's the guest's job to buy drinks.

Just remember, it is YOUR day. You cannot please everyone. You could ask her what hors-doevres she would like, but don't cater to her. If she doesn't like the food, she doesn't have to eat. Plus, even though she's being a brat now, on your wedding day, she'll probably be buying the drinks and eating the hors-doevres that she made such a fuss about today.

For the future, exclude her from things...take other friends...she sounds like she's just going to play devil's advocate to you.

Answer 3

If she doesn't like your hors d'oeuvre she can say so, but it doesn't mean that she MUST say so. For some people, shutting up is not possible, because their brain does not process what comes from their mouth or from their fingers (in the case of typing). That's where the old saying "think before you speak" comes from.

Now, what can YOU do about this problem? Given that she suffers from diarrhea of the mouth, leave her out of the planning. Invite her to the party, let her drink wine, and let her leave if she doesn't like it.

At any rate, people don't change, at least not much. You will not modify her behavior by saying anything to her, any more I will change your spelling habits by correcting your spelling of the words hors d'oeuvre, museum, and menu. But, as people, we are inclined to try, and sometimes we have to just let it go.

Forget about it, and have a good time.

Answer 4

This is your wedding.You are paying for it. Do what you want.
Your friend should not dictate what is being served at your wedding. She can choose to eat or drink what's there or not to eat or drink what's there.

Try not to worry about her. Have a good time at your wedding. Your friend can eat before she comes and then, drink the wine or sodas (if you are serving those). Water is also a good choice.

Another choice would be not to go at all. Tell her you'll miss her, but you're not changing the menu on her account.

Answer 5

She's your friend, for whatever reason. Is she rude and selfish? You have painted that picture of her; if so, why do you care and why is she your friend?
On the other hand, her comments might echo those of other guests, so perhaps pay attention to what she says and determine yourself whether there is any validity to these candid remarks that she has made.
It sounds, perhaps, like she is just being honest and talking to you as a friend (after all you took her to the venue while you were conducting business), and she may not think that being polite was more important at that time than being truthful and helping to advise you. I can see that there are probably two sides to this question.

Answer 6

It's your wedding and your choices. Noone could ever choose everything to suit everyone's taste. You do the best you can offer. She is being rude by making it all about her needs. I am a very picky eater and usually don't care for many things served, but I eat and drink what I like and make no comments. Forget about her and her comments and have a great wedding.

Answer 7

She is being rude, however, she may be reacting to a HUGE sense of jealousy, so don't be too hard on her. You may regret it, if your words are too harsh and you have hard feelings before the wedding. Remember that you are paying, and although you want your guests to enjoy themselves, it really comes down to what you decide to do. Take a deep breath and move on. Practice this exercise, you may need it more than once.

Answer 8

Um. Its YOUR wedding. They should not dictate what is on the menu. It is polite to take Their ideas into consideration, but they are being really immature. Now if they were the one paying for this stuff, they would have a bit more influence!

Good luck, and hold your ground.

Answer 9

Yes, she is rude. It is wise to have a variety of
food to pass around. People have allergies, etc.
Wine for the toast is quite nice. Some people are
like your friend; don't take her with you next time. Take someone else.

Answer 10

Yes, she is being rude and inconsiderate. It is your wedding and you should do it the way you want. Her input may be welcomed, but not in the snotty manner she is currently using. The fact is, in the end, it is your wedding, your way and nothing she has to say, if you don't agree, will matter.