SOO Confused!!?

Question

Background - We are both first year University students. I am several years older than this girl I like.

Last weekend hung out on the couch, watching tv, got close but didn't put my arm around her. Next day watched movie in theatre, put arm around her, given the receptive "lean" into the shoulder. Gave her small kiss at the end of the night. She is very very shy, so it was a very quick one.

I asked her today if I could take her out to dinner, and she said that it sounded alright, just had to see which night was available, friday or saturday (relatives coming to town one of the days).

Like I said she is shy, things go well, we chat, I bring up anything about getting closer, she seems to tighten up a bit, yet when we actually hang out (like at the movies) she lets loose a bit more. She says she likes me, just wants to move slowly.

So am I getting mixed signals, or she is just shy? We've gone out for lunch and stuff before and seen movies together, but never a nice dinner.

Answer 1

Your doing fine. Remember what makes people shy in the frist place isn't a great lack of trust in you, as much in there selves. This usually causes them to do some pretty confusing behaviours because alot of the time when they put distance up its actually for your benefit. This is the way they see it. So really also keep in mind that your going to battling her ego, her perception of herself. Thats going to be your tuffest fight with this one. Getting her to see that she deserves whats going on is also going to be a tuffy. So be patient and do your best to correct her as she gets closer to you, anytime she mentions how she doesn't deserve you, doesn't know what to do, and that your to good. Corrent her on these things,also get to talking a little about hobbies, science, politics, religion, these things are going to be the true makers or breckers of the relationhip. They also inspire confidence in the individual, but can backfire if you not tachful. Be gentle, be patient, and do your best to be understanding.....