I am a nice decent church-going girl, with morals, and not loose. Just wanted to state who I am. Now, I've been set up with men who are drunks, gamblers, or women haters. Or who just want sex and nothing else.
I am not looking for anyone as I know I just want a man who is pure-hearted and believes in God.
Why do I get set up with the losers? I find myself being offended by these people. I thought they would KNOW better.
2007-10-11 10:10:54 · 9 answers · asked by Born Valentine's Day 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Honestly, would you set up a good girl with a man who just uses women and gambles or drinks? I wouldn't. If I set up a person with another, I would find at least they had something in common with morals, and dignity. Wouldn't you?
2007-10-11 10:13:55 · update #1
Having been there myself, I feel your pain. It hurts that someone who is supposed to be a friend would do this, and I've ended such relationships for exactly this reason. It's a serious breach of trust, one that should never happen.
But happen it does, and there are different reasons for it. In some instances, the person who introduces you may not realize the bad habits the other person possesses. They simply may know them on a casual basis only.
At other times, it could be that they are jealous of you for some reason, and have deliberately set out to hurt you. That's cruelty in the extreme, and I believe it's what took place in my own situations.
Then still, there is the possibility that the person to whom you were introduced has put up a very good front and is not who they appeared to be to your friend. Simply put, your friend had no idea this person was such a loser because that's not the face they put forward. Appearances can be deceiving.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
2007-10-11 10:19:44 · answer #1 · answered by iamnoone 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because a man gambles or drinks ( within reason such as a few drinks at a casino or race track ) doesn't mean he is a loser .
You might be too judgemental !
Maybe you appear so "straight laced " to your friends that they think a more fun loving guy could losen you up and then you might be fun to be around , instead of being a wet blanket .
Also middle of the road guys may not want to date someone who is straight-laced but a man with a bit of an edge might consider it a challenge to loosen you up a bit .
Just because a man WANTS sex with a woman doesn't make him a woman hater . (Granted some men who date women are women haters) . It is natural and normal for the male of a species to want to have sex with the female of the species . Normal men are in "heat" 24/7/365 . Normal women have a slighly slower "in heat" response and are in heat usually about 20 days per month . This doesn't mean that men or women have to have sex everytime they encounter someone when they are both attracted . But "Dates" are considered to be "socio-sexual encounters" and if the people are attracted to each other, by looks , personality , interests , etc. ,some form of sex is expected and normal ( Anything from Kissing , cuddling to wild "adventures" . Often depending upon how many dates have preceeded the current one. ) People who do not participate on this level are often considered to be sexually repressed . Usually by a family that is obsessed with pushing religion and denying individual feelings and thoughts .
Often these types of familys just arrange the marraige so their children marry the "right" type of person.
C'mon Virginia ! Show me a sign ... Catholic Girls start much too late ... I might as well be the one ...
Billy Joel
2007-10-11 11:19:42 · answer #2 · answered by allure45connie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to think about who is setting you up...
they might think that all people are better in a relationship and put you with the first single guy they see so you can be together fast regardless of personality, beliefs or lifestyle..
Maybe they think a woman of your integrity could help straighten these men out, or perhaps they think yo should loosen up and these guys could help you...
If they are your friends or family express your confusion, or perhaps go on a church single event or ask a church organizer for help finding a like minded guy...
Learn from experience and avoid this friend's matchmaking services in the future
2007-10-11 10:22:01 · answer #3 · answered by Squid 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are living in a world where the moral and standards that you (and many others...myself included) have built are seemingly ignored and irrelevant. If you hold true to what you know is true...then you will find a person who is right for you. I honestly believe that we are destined for great things as Christians, as individuals, as people...but we have to know where we stand and not let the people who come in and out of our lives effect us.
I am really sorry that your recent dates have been with "losers" but I hope that you continue to look and remember to pray about it...
God listens to us...
even when it's something small.
2007-10-11 10:19:20 · answer #4 · answered by OldSchoolLove 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe it's time you stop and ask yourself why you are letting people set you up. It's time you start finding men to date on your own - that way you'll stand a much better chance of finding the kind of person that is right for YOU.
2007-10-11 10:22:30 · answer #5 · answered by grumppopotamus 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just out of curiousity, why would you keep hanging around the people that keep setting you up with these people?
2007-10-11 10:24:18 · answer #6 · answered by flashypsw 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ah crap I'm a loser. :( Women are cool though, not a woman hater.
2007-10-11 10:13:59 · answer #7 · answered by Armless Joe, Bipedal Foe 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why is it that people set you up with these men?
2007-10-11 10:15:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Maybe people like playing jokes on you?
2007-10-11 10:17:59 · answer #9 · answered by dreamer - VT-AM 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋