What do you think of the anti-adoption movements out there now?

Question

Eg:
http://www.antiadoption.org/faq.html
http://www.amfor.net/Adopters.html
http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/prejudice_teen_mothers.htm


I was really surprised to see sites so adamantly against adoption. I personally can see why adoption could be a bad decision in some cases, but having so many positive adoption experiences in my life (myself, other members of my family, friends, friends children etc), I don't understand why adoption overall could be a horrible thing.

Thoughts and comments?

It IS a little weird for people to assume that the mothers that give their children up for adoption are necessarily in bad situations. Some may just not be ready to be mothers. My bio-mom was college-education and had just started out in her career, and didn't want children. Do I think this is a good reason to give up a child? Not necessarily, but she wasn't drug-addicted or anything like that.

Answer 1

I'm glad they are out there. I don't always agree with everything they say and I'm quite positive they dont always agree with me, but thank GOODNESS people are out there speaking out and letting the world know what goes on! Sealed records, coercion, all the horrible things that happen need to be known so that the system can eventually be changed. Surely even those that believe adoption is wonderful can agree that these things need to be changed? Even if they don't always agree with the anti-adoption movement, hopefully they can be grateful that someone is changing the corrupt and inhumane ways it is currently conducted (even if you don't believe its all the time) here and abroad, after all, they are the parents of adoptees themselves.

Answer 2

I love how natural mothers are described here. A mother that voluntarily relinquishes her child is NOT a CRACK WHORE. I bet if we were to ask LC if the natural mother in his case was a crack whore. HE would say NO. A mother who voluntarily relinquishes is someone who is usually poor and vulnerable. NOT A DRUG ADDICT. This is a myth perpetrated by the Adoption Industry to disenfranchise and dehumanize a woman and her baby. It is a way to make a child a commodity. If the legal fees and the homestudies run $7,000, where does the rest of the money go?

Why don't you ask the adoption agencies why they charge so much? Its not the natural mothers. They don't want the protection from the agencies. They don't get a dang dime from the agencies.

Now I am not totally against adoption but I am radically against unethical adoptions, coercion and lies associated with adoption as it is now practiced.

The links below are not angry mothers. These are the words from very sane women. Women who have researched and studied adoption. I challenge every single one of you to read these blogs. I challenge you to all step up and read beyond the little boxes that you live in.

Answer 3

I'm not really sure. Your not the child's biological parents and then you lie to the kids until they are 18 or older and then tell them they were adopted. So that could cause resentment and confusion in the child. Then there's the issue of changing the child's entire name to the name of the adoptive parents. The child should keep the name that the father gave it because it is the son or daughter of it's father not the adoptive parents. The adoptive parents didn't give birth to it. You should let the child keep it's given birth name because that is it's identity and it is the child of it's biological father. You should also tell the child that it was adopted and you are not it's real parents as soon as it turns like 7 years old so it doesn't grow up living a lie and knows it's identity. All you are doing is buying a child. Plus it's too expenisive to adopt and you aren't even guarenteed to get a child. And then everyone wants babies and that isn't fair to the older children who are stuck in orphanages and foster care all their lives going from school to school and siblings getting split up because no one wants to adopt siblings. Then there are religions like Islam(my religion) that say you can't adopt because you are buying the child and buying children is forbidden in my religion. I would adopt but can't because in every non Muslim country you have to buy the child and pay for it in order to get it. So I can't adopt. If I did adopt I would adopt a baby and an older child.

Answer 4

I'm glad someone is out there trying to make a change.

Adoption in the U.S. as it stands - has so many faults - and children and mothers are being exploited.

Yes - some children need a loving home.

But pregnant women also need to suck it up and take responsibility for their own child.

Giving the child up - is inflicting pain on the child. (no matter the age of the child)

And society is happy with that to happen???

Why aren't more people trying to keep mother and child together??

I am thankful to those that are trying to make positive changes in adoption.

It is these people that are trying to make lives better for the child.

I'm not thankful to those that wish to shut them up - just because they don't agree with what they do.

Answer 5

I think the anti adoption folks raise many valid points to be considered. I just don't agree that adoption is always a bad thing. Sometimes, but not always. I think there is far too much relinquishment in our country due to coercion, low self esteem and lack of education. The anti adoption folks present a lot of information that people need to think about even if they don't agree with all points.

Adoption is not always a wonderful thing. I think that parents who have relinquished and adoptees who struggle with their relinquishment are often neglected. The anti adoption folks raise awareness to this neglect amongst other key issues that have been swept under the rug for generations.

I don't always agree with them and I never agree with them on everything but again there is important information to be considered.

Answer 6

I don't like the anti-adoption movements. I just believe that laws need to be changed. The one person that adoption laws are supposed to protect are the kids. They (we) are the one person that suffers the most with the current laws.

Answer 7

I think it's good that those groups are out there. While I don't agree with all of the issues, there are too many women who are lied to especially if they have healthy white babies. The Internet at least gives them a chance to find out some of those lies so that she can make a better decision.

Answer 8

I think they're dead on and have very valid points.

Again, I know many people who do not support adoption and none of them ( including myself) would prefer for babies to be thrown in trash cans or raised in bad conditions. Anyone who says this, hasn't read up on the issue, the REAL issue.

If you think about it, what adoption does today, isn't what adoption was set out to be. Adoption was set out to provide a home for children who need it. It doesn't do that as often as it should, so really the anti-adoptionists, are those who advocate for modern day adoptions. Coercion, sealed records, money in exchange for a child, forced surrenders due to lack of family support, poverty, desparation etc. THAT is modern day adoption. Not to mention uninformed surrenders.

Answer 9

any reason that you do not want to raise someone is good enough for me. it would be horrible to be brought up under someone that does not want a baby. there fore adoption is the greatest thing going and its sad to see how many are againist it i would think most of these people talking never were adopted or don't know much about hte situations or live it if you lived it would make more sense and i say i love it and here i am see what i have.

Answer 10

I think its horrible. But not all adoptions are the same... i was adopted by my grandparents when my mom passed. But for people who cant have kids its the only way to have a family of your own. Sometimes teen girls who accidently get pregnant cant always care for a baby and adoption is a hundred times better than abortion. Adoption can really only help more than hurt.