Myself and my husband do not struggle financially. The problem is my parents know this and always ask us for money and to use our credit cards for purchases on the internet. I have never said no to my parents, therefore i have created a big problem. My dad called the other day asking to charge 300.00 dollars to my credit card and supposedly my mom would pay me back. My mother has never paid me back a dime for anything. I flat out refused my dad and I haven't heard from them since it's been 2 days. Did I do the right thing and how do I get myself out of being used for a bank?
2007-10-11 06:07:55 · 11 answers · asked by sativa789 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No one can take advantage of you unless you allow it. Your parents are adults and shouldn't be doing this, no matter what your financial situation is. It's time to lay down the law. Tell them you and your husband are no longer going to allow this to happen, and stick to it. If your parents want something, they can save for it. It's a lesson they should have taught their children, and it goes for them as well.
2007-10-11 06:16:06 · answer #1 · answered by Lady G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. There is an old saying that been around for year that you don't lend money to family or friends.
Well.. now you know why. People with out financial control and/or those that leave beyound the income will not only need the money once.. but as long as that source of money continues they will take advantage of it.
Here's my suggestion. Tell your mom and dad that you would like to meet with them. Then sit down and explain to them that you, as their child, feel some obligation to assist them. However, you believe that a certain about of fiscal responsiblity must be assured if you are to help them. Offer to assist them with creating a budget and that you would like to review that before you make a decision on dealing out more cash.
One of two things will happen, either they will agree to this and you can then help them establish a budget (with loan payments included) or they will be pissed not want your 'Help'. In the first instance you'll have some confidence that you'll get your money back and in the second you won't give out the money.
If you do get to help with the budget and it falls apart, you then have something to fall back on (the established budget) to help them understand where their money is going and how they can improve their fiscal responsibility and you have even stronger feelings as to why you won't give them any more cash.
I believe there are lots of adults how there who do not practise good fiscal responsibility simply because no one has ever sat down and help them understand that the means and given them the tools to become more responsible. Now, if they have the knowledge and the tools and still live beyond their income, well... your justified even more in saying no.
Hope this helps!
2007-10-11 06:21:10 · answer #2 · answered by wrkey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did the right thing!
You have to cut it off. If you want your marriage to work, you have to tell your parents that they cant depend on you for money anymore. You are not their ATM. Tell them they are creating problems in your marriage and you have to stand up for your husband now and say no.
If it is an absolute emergency then help them out, but otherwise, you cant. You just need to inform them that even though they always say they will pay you back they never do, so until they start paying back what they owe, you cannot help them anymore.
I am sure they are upset, I mean, their ATM just ran out, but they should get over it. They are the parents, it isnt your responsibility to financially support them.
Just because you are doing well financially right now, doesnt mean you can give everything away and still be alright.
2007-10-11 06:13:02 · answer #3 · answered by Mo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IToo bad for your parents if they are angry at you. If they said that they would pay you back then it is reasonable to not lend anymore money until they do. Parents or not that is the mature way to act. remember that they are older and should act more mature. Just say that you cannot do it. If they ask why, just say personal reasons ... And that you cannot loan money right now. No lies and open ended. Now if they throw the " I raised you all of those years " excuse. Just keep in mind that having children is the parents choice and with that choice comes the responsibility if raising the child. You owe nothing financially.
2007-10-11 06:50:55 · answer #4 · answered by orcarius 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have given them your credit card numbers I think you better cancel them. You have probly upset them so they may try and charge stuff with your cc card without you knowing and since their your parents they know you won't do anything to them i.e. press charges. I couldn't see my parents asking me for money at all, not even a dollar. I'm the one asking them all the time and I sometimes pay them back and sometimes i don't. They should def pay you back and stress to them that if they'd paid you back maybe then you wouldn't get so mad at how much they borrow. Dont let this put a wedge between you and your husband or you and them.
2007-10-11 07:18:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kinda have the same problem. My parents are spending all their 401(k) money and trying to move in on us now that the funds are getting low. I would cut them off totally. I had to be very firm with my parents. You don't want this to start creating problems with your marriage. Say NO NO NO. Remember your an adult and its OK to tell your parents NO.
2007-10-11 06:21:51 · answer #6 · answered by caligirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-09 00:58:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing. Sounds to me like your parents were taking advantage of you and your financial security.
2007-10-11 06:13:54 · answer #8 · answered by harleysangel2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
codependency, do a yahoo search.
you are not responsible for your parent's finances. and why, on earth, would you give someone your credit card?
2007-10-11 06:31:13 · answer #9 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i love steve urkel
2007-10-11 06:11:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋