How do I handle this by being mature and strong?

Question

It's the deal with my mama. I'm 27 and she still wants to give me advice. I'm sick of being stuck on stupid because of her. I want to get a good job, get a car of my own, and move out. She is so cowardly she told me that I'm wasting my time going to college, in which I'm taking online.
I've recovered from my sickness of epilepsy. She tells me that I'd be a fool if I get cut of from getting a disability check, but that little money isn't enough. She says that I'm stingy with my money because I'm saving it for myself and not giving some to her and my sis, but I be straight up and say "I don't have a job and I'm saving it for my future". I want to put my foot down. She's like no other mama, weird. She tells me what I could do to make money and puts me down at the same time. I need to get my space. Instead of being encouraging, she puts me down.
My man advises me to stop letting her talk me out of my dreams. He's the most encouraging man I've ever had.

And what's good for me is that I have no kids.

Answer 1

Your mother sounds like many others who care about their child even though they're grown. The health problem you've had has made her even more concerned for your wellbeing. You should be out and on your own. However, you also should have been helping your mother financially for the past several years if you lived with her.
I'm sure it frightens your mother to see you give up your disability check because it's a "sure thing."
However, you're correct that you can live much better if you get a good education and job. You can always re-apply for disability if your health gets worse in the future.
It's great that your boyfriend encourages you and is supportive of what you want for your life. But don't forget, it's your mother whose been supportive, and has supported you all your life. You're an adult and can do whatever you choose. However, it would be best for everyone if you can do it without alienating your mother.

Answer 2

I think you have a codependent parent. She loves you TOO MUCH. She wants you to stay where you are, with her, because she's so attached to you and the power she has had over you all these years.

Just understand that she loves you, and move out and move on. Let her know that it's nothing against her, you're just doing what you need to do for you.

Answer 3

She is definitely codependant. You continue to make your plans and get out on your own as soon as you can. She's going to continue to cut you down until you believe you can't do anything without her. She should be encouraging you not doing what she's doing. Try not to disrespect her, but make a life for yourself. Good luck and God bless.