I am scared.?

Question

My fiancee of three years just left a week ago and moved in with another woman. I have tried to eat but vomit everything. I cannot sleep. I went to a doctor and a psych and am on medication but it is not helping. I was used by this guy financially for years and now that I am nearly out of money he moved on. I truly feel as if I am going to die from the heart palpitations and no food or sleep. Please someone help me

Answer 1

I felt this same way when I found out my husband of 4 months had gotten himself a girlfriend a couple months before we got married, and kept dating her AFTER we got married. I thought I was going to die from the pain, lost 20 pounds, and felt miserable. We had dated for 5 years before getting married. It took time, a lot of time, to get over it. I found it helped to surround myself with family and friends, not just sit home and cry about it. It's only been a week for you, every day should be a little easier to deal with. Keep yourself busy doing things you enjoy that maybe you had given up when you were with him. Find yourself again, and put this behind you. I know, it's easier said than done, but take it from someone who has been there that you WILL get through this.

Answer 2

Your gonna be ok. If it's only been a week you need to give the medication time to work. Maybe you should go stay with a friend or relative for a few days so they can help you. What your going through really sucks and you didn't deserve that. I have a feeling your strong enough to pick yourself up, dust off and keep going forward. If he used you for 3 years it's about time he hit the road. Who needs that aggrevation?
Your stressed beyond your limits and that's why your heart is palpitating, you can't sleep or eat. Find something to relax you, yoga, pilates, a walk, whatever you enjoyed before this all happened. Take care of yourself. Drink alot of water and eat lightly. Give time time. Call a friend or someone close to you and let them help you. Your sad, and I wish you weren't. But what your feeling are just feelings. They will pass. All this will pass. Keep your chin up ;-)

Answer 3

Jan, calm down and say to your self there is no mother f------r better than me. There is no going back now but forward, give the meds time to work and keep your Dr's appointments. Put your thoughts into your paintings or lamps lol. You have so much talent don't waste it on a no good for nothing scum bag. Don't allow him to bring you down to his level your much to smart and talented to want him back. Tell him to go find God, so he won't burn in the fires of hell for what he has done to you. Someone once told me , Keep looking up that's where miracles come from. I also have a collectors plate that has a little girl crying and it says, Dear God, I have a broken heart can you please fix it.? Heeds these words and put your heartache in the hands of God. He will make it all better. I know for a fact that this is true and I still today look up and thank God for helping me cope with my fears and heartaches. I'm not completely there yet but I will be someday
Be Happy My Friend!!!

Answer 4

You are much better off without this jerk, and should not be allowing the stress the betrayal causes to affect you so badly. Thirty years ago my wife of three years left me under similar circumstances, and I was miserable for a while. It occurred to me fairly soon that she could have done the same thing after I had given her six or twelve years of my life. Sure, I had invested in a loser. Fortunately I found out before I had wasted more time.

Go off the medications. You do not need your brain altered or adjusted. Emotional pain is natural, and must be endured to be cured.

After three years there may be ways to recover some of your personal time, in the form of support payments and such. Even if there are not, move on to other partners and console yourself with the thought that the new woman will be finding out what a loser he is in a couple of years.

I am now married for twelve years to a wonderful woman, who would never treat me that way. My ex wife has gone through a number of relationshops, lives on welfare and has nothing now that her looks have vanished behind her walls of fat. What will your loser look like in twenty years?

There's a lot to be said for male pattern baldness and a beer gut, but none of it is very nice. You do not need medication when you avoid a future like that, you need to congratulate yourself on a narrow escape.

Go out. Meet men who like the same things you do. Read the personal ads, and answer the ones that intrigue you. I met my wife that way, and it worked better than I dreamed. We both like the same things (music and gardening) and, having both been screwed around on by previous losers, appreciate the need for good faith in our personal lives.

Can I say often enough and loudly enough that IT IS NOT YOU WITH THE PROBLEM! YOU DO NOT NEED SEDATION OR PSYCHOTROPIC DRUGS!

Good luck. There are lots of people who value fidelity. One of them is waiting to be faithful to you.

Answer 5

Okay, Honey- So this waste of space left you. It hurts now, but fairly soon you'll get over him. And you'll be glad that you're not carrying him any more.

You need counseling, lots of it. It's pretty clear that this guy has had a bit too much of a hold of you, so you need to detox (for lack of a better word).

Tell the doc and the psych that the medicine isn't working. It may be that you need a bit more time, but tell them so they can try something else.

Do you have any friends or family to visit? Now is a good time to build a support network until you are free and clear.

If this guy shows up at your door again, slam it in his face: You don't need him.

Good luck.

Answer 6

I have been there sweetie. What happens is your body goes in shock and I lost weight also.All I wanted was cigarettes and coffee for 3 months.I went from 115 to 90lbs. Totally depressed and full of anxiety.So I was on Prozac and Zoloft for 2 years. We ended up back together and he cheated on me but I was able to handle it and she left him but he moved on and married.I had no closure at all. So please take the medication it takes time to work you may have to wait 3 months or you may need a bit stronger dose.You will be alright I know what your going through.Try to go to church or do something to help others it will help you also.

Answer 7

I'm so sorry to hear this has happened to you. I went through the same thing. He left me with nothing but a shattered heart, an empty bank account and unpaid bills. I couldn't eat or sleep. Each day was just a struggle to get out of bed. My friends and family all told me I was better off without him. That he was good for nothing and a waste of my time. They just didn't understand. I lost so much weight, I was down to 85 lbs. I was basically in a period of mourning. I think it was 3 months later, I looked in the mirror and really trully saw how dreadful I looked. And I thought to myself, I deserve better than this, why am I wasting away for a man who never really cared for me anyway? He was happy in his new life, why shouldn't I be also? I realize now that was the first step to my emotional healing. I started to take care of myself. I went out with friends. I got myself out of that horrible debt and started over again. It took a really long time but eventually I got better. I hadn't gotten over him completely or what he did to me. Almost 12 years later and I bumped into him at a local store. I freaked out. I stuttered and started to shake and felt so stupid all over again. Isn't it amazing the power some people can hold over your emotions? I'm happily married now to a kind and wonderful man and we've started a family. I avoided all the personality traits the other guy had and I'm so much better for it. But it took a long time for me to trust another man again. In the end I took a gamble on the one who cared about me not my bank account and it paid off. It will take time and I hope you will come to that day that you look in the mirror and say to yourself "I'm worth a whole lot more than what he took me for. I deserve kindness and love not abuse. I'm a person who deserves happiness and I'm going to find it."

Answer 8

AWW that sucks dont worry. ummm hangout with positive friends. and try to be happy i know its hard.. but there are plenty of ppl that likes u out there. u deserve the best. well here is a lil poem hope this helps!

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
Whe he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out -

The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

if anything ill be here, just let me know

Answer 9

It's fear, it will not only help you move on but remind you that you are still alive. Yes, you were used financially but later in life you will see that this event helped you become a wiser woman. Not now, but some day. Be glad you found out what kind of man he was before you got married. My fiance did the same thing but I found out accidently that he was cheating. I was sick, cried, afraid to be alone but couldn't talk to people and felt numb for a couple of months. Life's lessons are cruel but necessary. Stay on your meds and continue with a psychiatrist and therapist, in time it WILL help. Someday, not soon, but someday you will stand tall, and give another young woman in this situation advice from your experience.

Answer 10

Honey.
I am so sorry for this destruction in your life. :( You need to try and surround yourself with friends/family.
Destroy everything between you and him. Get off the stupid pill that your lousy doctor gave you. You will make yourself stronger if you do iton your own.!
Time is your only medicine. the next few weeks will be hard but time heals everything. even a broken heart.
Now is the time to pick up the broken pieces and dont look back. Your not going to get yourself anywhere by doing what you are doing. Its like detox of drugs. You have to suffer for alittle while but eventually you will feel better.
You have to take that baby step first though

Good Luck- everything happens for a reason.