New Veiwpoint what the purpose of turning in my parents years later for abuse?

Question

Many people say I should talk to the DA. My parents did some bad things and there are no statue of limitaions on 2 of them. They dont have any more kids and dont do too much to me anymore. Why you should I still turn them in? The things they did were pretty bad but not sexual abuse. There were some things just as bad and equal to it. Time has not run out on what they have done and the police will do something even if it just getting them help by force.

Yes they still act and talk the same and are verbally absuive and threatening. I talked to them about it and they just laughed. I have proof of what they have done from medical records.

im an adult not at home.

Answer 1

I'm sorry for what you've had to go through.

I'm afraid, though, that I think the only person who can answer this question is you.

Please remember that turning your parents in does not mean that they will automatically be found guilty - it will be a long and difficult process.

However, I don't think it would be in any way "wrong" for you to speak up. The length of time that's passed is irrelevant, it's only natural that years of abuse would leave you feeling very emotionally weak and lacking in confidence and that it could take you till now to feel that you have the strength to pursue the matter.

If you decide to let bygones be bygones, then good for you. But only if you can truly make your peace with that.

If you decide to go through with pressing charges, please make sure you find out as much as possible about your legal standing first, and that you talk to the people around you whom you love and trust, making sure that they will give you much needed support throughout.

I wish you the best of luck, whatever you decide.

Answer 2

Hi,

It's entirely up to you.

If you report them, then hopefully any abuse will fall to a minimum, if not disappear entirely. If you feel that their actions caused you significant harm (be that physical, emotional or otherwise) then it may also help you to deal with the situation, enable you to pursue compensation or emotional support and provide a sense of closure on the issues. Very importantly, it would also mean that your parents should be monitored when in the company of any children (if not banned altogether) to ensure that the same thing does not happen to anyone else.

On the other hand, you may feel that the issue has gone on for long enough and you do not wish to pursue it. If this is the case and you are confident in your decision then it is best to try and move on with your life.

Before making your mind up, do please consider if they might have abused anyone else, or had the opportunity to do so.

Whatever you decide, don't let them treat you badly now as an adult. If they are abusive then calmly explain to them that their behaviour is unacceptable and you will not tolerate it. Put some distance between you if necessary. .

Go with what your heart tells you, not other people.

Good luck and look after yourself.

Answer 3

I was severely abused, I was beat unconscious, bones broken and bruised on a number of occasions. My mom was the enabler and my step dad was the abuser. His favorite by far was to whip me with his leather belt across my back leaving welts and cuts into my skin. I told people and nothing happened and when I ran away the police just returned me to them. I know times are different now but if I were in your position there would be two questions that I would ask myself. 1) Will it better me to report this and 2) Will it protect anyone else? If you answer no to ether of these questions do not go to the authorities, you may be better off confronting this within your family. That is a whole other discussion.

Answer 4

Are your parents ever around other children? Most likely, yes. The point of turning in a criminal offender is to get them help, but also to prevent them from committing their crimes against another person. They are a danger to children, and there is no reason to belive that it stops with you. If you really struggle with turning them in, think about the things they did to you and how it affected you and then ask yourself how you would feel if they did that to another child and you had never turned them in. How you answer that question will help you decide what to do.

Answer 5

If they still display the habits they had when you were growing up, then it may well serve a useful purpose. But some people to grow and mature, including parents.

Have you talked to you parents about it? If not, maybe you should. Then take it from there.

.

Answer 6

If you decide to 'turn them in' you need to be clear about the consequences and whether you consider the pro's outweigh the con's. Personally I think you should only do it if it will help you get closure. Good luck whatever you decide.

Answer 7

If you're a minor do you have someone else to take care of you or are you old enough to take care of yourself? Could you handle going through reporting them?

I guess it depends on what they did to you. If it is that terrible they should be reported so they are aware of their crime and also don't do it to anyone elses kids.

Answer 8

You and many thousand others. There is no point, particularly if it is no longer happening. You might have one hell of a job proving any accusations. Now if you can really forgive them ...