I'm 13 and I need encouragement..?

Question

I hate school. I never want to go there. I havent gone for 5 days, but it's not just because I don't want to go there, it's because I'm sick. I'm always scared to go there; I'm scared of what people will say to me, about me, whatever. I just really don't want to know. But all of my friends freak out on me because I miss days of school. I missed alot in 6th grade! And I will NEVER do that again, but I'm still scared to death that child services will come, don't say that they won't cuz my mom works for the local sheriffs office. I feel so bad because my mom leaves our house crying when i stay home. The point is, I need something to look forward to for me and my mom to live better.....can you help?

Answer 1

Although it's hard to see the big picture right now, you need to understand that school is important. Also, believe it or not, so is the school experience. Even though some times it may seem to be a bleak and harsh environment, with many unpleasant people around, you have to learn to deal with it.

In just five years you will be an adult. You will be able to go off to college, get a job, join the forces, whatever you want to do with your life. But the rules are the rules, and one of the rules of society is you have to go to school. You're quite right about child services and other government agencies. These days many school districts are getting very tough on truancy. You could easily find yourself dragged through the court system or even taken away from your mother and placed in some kind of juvenile detention center. You think school is tough? You don't want to have to go through something like that.

You need to think about the reality of your situation too. What's the worse thing that can happen to you in school? Someone is mean to you in front of others? Who cares? It's just a bit of childish name calling. In a few years, you won't ever have to deal with these people again.

But here's the deal. With the way the American education system works, missing a lot of school will often hurt your grades. Your grades will determine which doors are open to you in adult life, and which are closed. Poor grades, and you can kiss college goodbye. In fact you can kiss a lot of opportunities goodbye.

So as much as you may hate it, you just have to force yourself to deal with it. Talk to a counselor if you have to. Just do whatever it takes to make it though. Because once you turn 18, you really have no idea of the exciting and wonderful opportunities that await you. There really are some amazing times ahead of you. But you have to toughen up, work hard, and lay the foundation now. Otherwise you'll be missing out on a lot down the road, and you'll have a lot of regret that you didn't put in the effort when you could.

Answer 2

Let me get this straight...you hate school but not because it's the whole idea of school but that you feel scared interacting with people. I think you may have some social anxiety issues. You worry so much about what others think of you, or say to you, or maybe even look at you. I can also guess that you are a fairly shy person and possibly an only child.

Firstly, you need to change your state of mind. Look at yourself and like who you are. When you are comfortable with yourself, you will be more comfortable with others around you. It's absolutely normal to care of what others think about you and worry about how you'll respond to someone when they talk to you. No one's perfect and it's okay to not to make such a great impression, as long as you put a good effort.

Since you have friends, it doesn't seem like you are a loner, so just try to be more comfortable with other people around.

When I think people are always looking at me when I walk down the street, I just tell myself that they're not. Most people worry about the same thing themselves. Everyone have their own problems. Believe me...no one has it perfect.

I'm not sure if when you say thatyou are sick, that you have an illness. Then if you miss a lot of days of school due to your illness, and people ask, be upfront about it. The whole point is that you should not be afraid.

You must know that having an education is very important. Your life will head in a better direction and life will be better in the long run. Everyone goes through crap some time in their lives. Life is a roller coaster ride. Some have it tougher than others.

But I'm sure you will get through this. You may want to sit down with your mother and discuss your issues. She's older and more experienced, she may be able to sort things out with you.

I hope things look up for you.

Answer 3

I am sorry that you are having a difficult time with school. After reading your post, I don't think it has anything to do with your grades or your intelligence. 13 is a tough age, there are alot of things going on (you are not a child and not adult). I wish there was some magical answer to give you but there isn't. So I have to be honest, 1. Your mom does not deserve to be treated like this. I am sure that she doesn't want to go to work but she does. She is doing the right thing by you and for you. You deserve to do the right thing also. 2. I bet you are passionate about something...and I bet you need an education to pursue that passion, so finish your education. 3. Take control of your on life. Stop allowing people to pass judgement about you. The only people you have to answer to is your mom, yourself and your teachers. 4. Find someone to talk to at school...they really want to help you. 5. Fight and don't quit...keep on trying to be the best person you can be...God Bless

Answer 4

School can be a scary place. So can the world. We live in times where people don't care. However, that doesn't mean you stay inside all the time. I can't promise you people won't make fun of you. What I can promise is that you'll end up missing out on experiences that you'll carry around with you forever. Go to school. Get an education. But, more than that, be a kid because it goes fast! Hang out with your friends. Go to school dances. Join a club or two. But, more than that, be yourself! You don't need to be someone your not to be liked. Just enjoy your experiences. Life's too short to worry about what others think.

It sounds like you have a lot of people that care about you. Talk to them or a school counselor if you feel you need to talk. Don't hold it in.

Answer 5

It may not be totally that you hate school but it could be the fact that, from what I gather from what you said, you hate the fact that it is just you and your mother and you hate that situation. It might be that she feels that there is nothing to look forward to as well and by you attending school, it will give her something to look forward to - you graduating - and that will help you both.
You need to talk to someone, perhaps a school counselor, and realize that the best way for you and your mother to live better is to get that education.
If you have problems with school work, get her to go to a health food store and get some DMAE, a natural substance found in fish with absolutely no side effects - and you will find that will help your concentration and memory immensely and that may give you reason to go to school, to get better grades and doing that might also make you feel a lot better about yourself and if people talk about you it will be about how you are doing so much better than them with the school work.
You need to read some of the many questions on here by people who didn't finish school and you will see that finishing up school is the best way to make life better and realize that there is at least a possibility that by not going now, you may have to go another year i order to graduate so it is better to go now and get it over with. It will make life better for both you and your mother, I promise you.

Answer 6

I am curious to know what the fear is. Do you have fears of being in other social activities? have you ever been the subject of a cruel joke?

All 13 year olds face fears of what people say and think about them. The fear is very real and normal. School can be a harsh enviroment for teens, but what you need to realize is the others in your grade have the same fears and concerns, even the most popular kids face the same things you do. Believe it or not, the popular kids usually create an image and enviroment for themselves that they always have to live up to an even higher expectation than most.

What I suggest is find the areas you thrive in and what your specialties and expertise are in and accentuate them. Become the best at what you are already good at. This will improve your self image and others will see it in you as well.

Answer 7

Hi....

Your mother isn't helping the situation by crying.. Rather, she needs to help YOU... you are her responsibility.

If you are having issues with fear, and anxiety and are so stressed that you can't even go to school, hon, you need to talk with someone... soon as you can.

Why do you feel child services is going to come to your house? Has your mother been a bad parent? If not, please don't worry.... if she's a good mother, i see no reason child services will come. Or are you worried they will come because you are missing school? I'm sure that, on the days you miss school, your mom talks with them. If so, no worries.

PLEASE talk to your mother about your fears and illness. Ask her if she would get you to the doctor for help. You don't deserve to suffer, and it sounds like you are overdue to see a doctor.

If all else fails, talk to your school counselor, and let them know how you're feeling, and ask them what you can do? Sometimes counselors can help you and your parent(s) find good answers to issues... that is what counselors are there for.

take care ok? hugs hugs

Answer 8

You're 13 and just entering a stage in your life where what your peers think is all important to you. You are afraid other kids around you won't like you, or worse yet, will completely ignore you and stay away from you!

It sucks being a teen! I remember what it was like for some of the girls I went to school with. Kids can be utterly cruel, sometime.

But you know...if you pick your friends for who they are, and things they like to do that are in common with your interests and personality, you will find that the others won't matter!

You say you have friends that miss you. Great!! Hang out with them! So what if the cutest boy in school ignores you. One day, the cute boys will be all over you, becuase you are an independant, COOL chick!!

If it gets too much, seek out a guidance counsellor. They are there to help you! talk to your Mom about going on shopping trips for clothes. Maybe help her out with some of the housework on Saturday mornings. Form a friendship with her. She loves you, and accepts you for who you are inside. She's the best friend you'll ever have!!

Talk with her and explain your fears and concerns. She loves you and wants to help you. yu're not going through anything young women haven't gone through for millenia!! She may have had a rough time at school and can help you relate!!

Talk with her, and talk with your CLOSE friends. You'll do just fine!!

Answer 9

Hey there, you need to go period. Your mom doesnt want you to be thrown into any kind of home, and that is what will happen. I've seen this kind of heart ach from my neighbors and it really sucks. The moms have to work and cant be home to make sure there kids get to school. So they get fined and the kids get taken away. The states just figure the moms cant do the job so they need to intervine. You dont want anyone thinking badley of your mother right? or you for that matter right? Go to school for you and her because its the right thing to do. I know school is tough and that you cant please everyone, and yes their are people that will give you a hard time, but you know what? It happens to everyone even the popular kids. Their is always someone that just cant stand themselves and are going to take it out on you. Misery Loves Company. Ignore them and know that someday you may own a big business and they want to be apart of it and you get to choose if you want to give them that chance or not. On a personal note be kind to Everyone because you never know what kind of situation you will be in the future and they may be able to give you a hand. Doctors, Lawers, Bankers, you never know.

Answer 10

Being yourself is the most important part of your life right now! Don't acknowledge those that do not appreciate you and what you have to offer as a friend. It sounds like you already have something to look forward to, The Friends that are concerned about you now!!! Don't let people get you down enjoy what's in front of you and live life as you want!!!