My stepmom overpowers my dad and she is controlling, what should I do?

Question

I have always been the "perfect" child compared to my sisters. My dad got remarried when I was 8 so I have lived my stepmom for the last 11 years. My mom does not have a dominant role in my life and my dad is very passive. My stepmom will yell at me about anything and my dad will just sit there and not say a word. She drove my two sisters out of the house already. They were considered "problem" children and she told my dad if they didnt go she would cuz she wasnt going to put up with them. They now live with grandparents. I am all my dad has left at the house when im not away at school. Why won't he stick up for his own children? I dont understand why he would let my sisters leave and keep her? I feel like she is trying to get me out of the house to. Ive been really depressed about this and dont know what to do :(

Answer 1

Talk to him#

Answer 2

Wow, sorry to hear about this....I was a stepmom (I adopted my husband's daughters so now I'm their mom). My husband is very passive. I ended up having to take the dominant role when it came to discipline and rules. However, it was never my intention to run anyone out of the house by any means. Maybe your father is afraid of "losing" another wife. Or maybe he is afraid that he will spend his life alone if she leaves. I'm not sure. But you need to have a "heart to heart" with him. Maybe you should "separate" yourself by staying at your grandparents for a bit. Maybe then he will realize what he is doing to you and your sisters. Nonetheless, he doesn't know how you are feeling unless you talk to him!

Answer 3

Your dad probably needs someone to tell him what to do, and when to do it, because he has little or no self-esteem. People like this let their spouses run all over them, believe me.

Some men actually WANT a woman who is controlling. Don't ask me why, i can't stand that sort of situation... it is sick, if you ask me.

I'm sorry your step mother is so controlling. You could talk with your dad about this when she is not around.... just ask him to talk.. tell him how you feel when she yells, and you might also let him know you can hear her without the screaming. Ask him how HE feels about it, too? You can be calm, and dont' have to argue with Dad, just let him know you are concerned. See what happens.

and PLEASE, don't feel you have to "take care of" your dad, and you are "all he has left". your father is an adult, and in being one, he needs to take care of HIMSELF. Children are not responsible for their father's welfare.

You can also talk to your school counselor for advice on this issue....

And one more thing, please realize that your father has chosen this woman, and if he doesn't like the way she treats others and behaves, he is the one who has to decide whether to stay or go. It's not your choice.

hugs

Answer 4

You know you should really talk to your father about how you feel. Go out to the store or grab something to eat (out) together (alone) and tell him how much this is bothering you. He should never choose anyone over his children. Blood is blood and no-one should come between that. Sometimes it takes one of your own to make you realize that things arent right. He needs to get his prioritys strait, she should not be the one deciplining any of you. Go speak to your school counselor you definatley need to talk to someone about how you feel. Hold on tight to your sisters i'm sure they are heart broken you guys need to stick together. My prayers are with you. I went threw something very simular as a child only it was my mom. Hold tight.

Answer 5

How can you say you are all your father has left? He has his new wife. Children are supposed to grow up and move out.

Answer 6

There is only so much you can take. Talk to your dad about it. He was wrong for choosing his new wife. Blood is thicker then water.