Does anyone besides me think that gift registries are rude?

Question

I think it's horribly rude when people put on their wedding invitations where they are registered. It's like saying "hey, come to our wedding. But you better bring us gifts!" or even "we dont' think your capable of getting us something decent, so here's what you need to get us!"

I didn't register anywhere and I didn't expect gifts for my wedding. I figured, worst scenario, people would just give us gift cards or money. (which isn't so bad!)

Am I the only one?!

haha! my wedding was three years ago and I didn't register anywhere, and I got...gift cards and money...which is what we really needed anyway!

I just think it's rude and outdated. anyone who thinks money is a bad gift idea is out of thier mind! Have you ever spoken the words "I don't need money! I already have enough!" ?

I think it's rude to have a registry AT ALL. not just on the invites or whatever.

I understand the point of registry. However, in most cases, it's extremely outdated.

Come on! it's 2007! most people who are getting married have been living together for a while already! the origins of registry was to get the new couple things they would need once they moved in together! Nowadays, it's just neat things they think they need to have.

Money is always the best gift.

Answer 1

It isn't rude to have a registry, but it is rude to promote it. If someone is inclined to buy a gift, they are supposed to discreetly ask friends or family where the couple is registered if they want gift ideas. Putting the registry in the invitation is a solicitation and makes the guest feel obligated.

Answer 2

I see your point, but that comes in handy.

I've never seen it on the invitation itself, but i have received a separate piece of paper in the envelope with their registries listed on it. Some people are very picky about what they want to put in their house or apartment. I would be. Would you rather get all sorts of stuff that either don't match each other, or stuff that people "think" you need. To be perfectly honest, a lot of people do not have much taste in choosing that sort of stuff. For example, my sister or I always go with my mom to find a present, just to make sure that it would be something that other people would prefer. Everybody has different taste and like certain things. And the registries make it easier on the couple, rather than having to return things that they find hideous. And that they save time for those who wish to purchase a gift for the happy couple.

And remember that the registry is only a suggestion. You don't have to abide by it. I usually just end up getting a gift card to what ever place they listed since I know they wont get something thing they were hoping for.

Answer 3

I don't think it's rude. I have gotten invitations with registries in them. I think people do that because there are lots of friends and family who want to get gifts, but just don't know what the couple needs and the registry has what they need in it, or what they want. On the other hand, I have not always shown up with a gift because at times I have not been able to afford to, which most people understand, or should anyway. You absolutely do not HAVE to show up with a gift unless you want to. It's mainly for those who want to get gifts and don't know what to get or where to go. You didn't register, but I bet you got lots of gifts, cards, some money....I personally would not put one in my invitation, but that's ok. we all feel differently, and it's all good. I hope I helped ya some. God Bless.

Answer 4

I dont think gift regestries are bad at all. Most people see it as an easy, quick way to get the couple something they deffinitly want and need. You dont have to waste time looking around the store and deciding whether or not they would like it. Also, when someone buys something it will remove it from the registrie so you dont get two or more of the same thing. (what would you do with 2 or 3 sets of china or silverware??) I know at my sisters wedding she had about 200 guest, which included distant DISTANT relatives and friends of the family that didnt really know her and her fiance that well. The gift registrie just made it easier on everyone. People dont see it as offensive. Why waste their time and money on something you dont even want? And for you, it's not worth getting stuff you already have or stuff you dont even want or need. Good luck and congradulations on the wedding!!

Answer 5

A bit presumptuous perhaps, but not necessarily rude. Part of the point anyway has been to help the new couple set up their new home, and I would say it's acceptable for them to register at a general purpose department store like Sears or Macy's.

Any mention of a gift registry should be on a card separate from the actual invitation, but it can (and for practical reasons should) go out in the same envelope.

Answer 6

IMO they are not rude, they are an EXCELLENT way to convey what the couple NEEDS.

This way hopefully people won't get three toasters or five paper towel holders when they already have some.

Its also a great idea because if I have NO IDEA what to get them, I can look at the registry and go "ok I'll get that!".

Yeah I could just give them money but to me giving money or a gift card is not as personal as an actual gift.

Answer 7

Personally I think that like most things, there is a proper time and place for everything. Registering for a wedding/ new baby is definately appropriate... for a FIRST wedding or baby!!! For second weddings, etc... I think it's just tacky and rude. Also, it shouldn't be put with the wedding invites - and most only mention it when asked.

The other thing I was recently subjected to - a registry for a 6 year old's b-day.... now that's pushing it!

Answer 8

I know Emily Post and Miss Manners say it's rude, but I like to know that when I give someone a gift that it's something they are going to like and use. As for the "You better bring us gifts" or "we don't think you're capable of getting us something decent" message, that depends on the person sending it and your opinion of them. I know my friends don't think that way. I look at it as if they were saying "If you want to give us something, this is what we really need or really want" and I decide if and what I'm going to give for myself.

When I got married, we got some of the dumbest things, and were stuck with the options of regifting, throwing them away, giving them away or just having them hanging around, none of which was the intention of the givers, I'm sure. I'm pretty certain that some of these were regifts. I'm always glad when someone tells me they're registered somewhere, that way I know that my money isn't going for something that will just molder in the box or be regifted to someone else.

Ultimately, things like this only offend us if we choose to look for insult when it may not have even been intended.

Answer 9

People actually put those in WEDDING invitations?!? OMG! If I got a wedding invitation in the mail with a registry in it, I wouldn't go to the wedding. That's just flat out rude!

EDIT: After I submitted my answer, I started thinking more about the question. Do you think ALL registries are rude? Because putting the registry (or place of) in an invitation for a wedding/baby shower is actually proper. I totally agree that putting them in the actual wedding invitation is extremely and inexcusably rude, but people are actually supposed to put registries in invites for showers!

EDIT2: OK, you DO realize the entire point of having a shower is to "shower" the person in gifts right? Would you want to go to a shower not knowing what that person wanted? I agree with your point, because in a way it does make it look like that person is expecting gifts. But if you don't want to give a gift at a shower, don't go. As I said before, I think including the registry in the actual invitation for the wedding is very rude, but not for a shower.

Answer 10

I don't think I would put it in my wedding invitation, but for baby showers that's okay. Registering isn't a bad thing. It lets people know what you actually NEED. Not everyone likes to give money - they want to make sure it goes to something useful and they want to put a little more effort into the gift.

Now, for a birthday - THAT'S rude.