Do I call Child Protective Services?

Question

Im waiting to hear back from an attorney, but in the mean time.....My 8 yr old son told me his dad is always yelling at his gf, and he has even seen him hit her. I grew up in an abusive home, so i know how it feels hearing someone yelling, even when not directed toward you. So I truly beleive this is emotional abuse. Also, very often no one is home to get him off the bus, my boy has had to walk 1/4 mile down a main, busy road to the neighbors. I feel this is neglect. Am i wrong to call CPS? we share joint custody, and last school year he started staying with his dad during the school years.

Im not intending to take his dads rights away, im concerned about my son-not his dad and not me, my son and his well being is all i am concerned about

Answer 1

If you can handle full custody & do better by him, (& I don't just mean the yelling, & hitting), then yes,go for it. I was abused too, & left a BF for the same reason, he hadn't hit me yet, but I felt it was a matter of time.
Will the child have to change schools, will you be there to get him off the bus? Can you put him on it? Find out about after school programs. In NJ, where I live, the YMCA runs one & a private organization runs the other. It isn't cheap, but they have space & time to do homework, & structured & supervised play right at the school. My son was in the pre & after school till he got into middle school. They ran it from 7 AM to 6 PM.
My shared custody is a bit different. He gets every other weekend & two weeks uninterupted for vacation, during the summer. Holidays an spring & winter break are every other year. Any other special times have to be agreed upon by both parties.
They won't take the child if there is a responsible parent available, just make sure you have all your ducks in a row.

Answer 2

Before you call CPS, I would talk to his Dad. Let him know that you have heard this report from your child more than once. Express your feelings on how this is effecting your son and, if there have been any clear changes in his behavior, mention them. Let him know that is it totally unacceptable for him to be abusive in any event, and you will not tolerate your child living with it. If the custody agreement does not specifically state he is to live with the Dad during the school week, revert back to the original agreement if at all possible. Let him know that unless he gets help, you will contact your lawyer immediately and file for a change of custody the next time you find out about the abuse.

As for school, the issue would seem to be more with whomever is watching him after school. If the Dad has made these arrangements, than it may be up to him to address them. I tend to feel 8 is too young to walk home alone in the circumstances you describe, but will admit that factors like nieghborhood, if the child can be seen from the bus stop by the neighbor and child care issues can come into play. Again, speak with the father over the concerns. However, in the scheme of things, the abuse is far more urgent. I would contact your attorney and inform of him of what is going on and what steps you have taken, and what you may need to do. Calling CPS can be a last resort, but my concern with it is what your child will be put through during any investigative process.

Answer 3

Have you spoken with your son's dad about this? Maybe between the two of you there could be a resolution without involving 3rd & 4th parties. CPS will investigate you as well as the father which may or may not be a problem for you. The lawyer is looking at possibly making more money. So who do you trust? Yourself or other parties. I would just sit down with the dad and say "Hey, our son is having a problem he told me about and it concerns you. I'm sure he loves his son as much as you do but is not seeing how his personal problem is affecting his son. Also as far as an 8 yr old walking alone on a busy street, have you watched the news lately. Kids are snatched up all the time. I live in St. Louis where the whole Shawn Hornebeck & Ben Ownsby case is all over the news. They were both picked up off a street walking alone. Talk to the dad about this. Could he drop your son off at the neighbors on the way to work? I would definately try to work it out between the two of you instead of involving CPS. If you can't work it out then maybe you should go back to court and have them resolve the issue for you.

Answer 4

Witnessing his father abuse his girlfriend is definitely abuse. He probably thinks that because he's not hitting your son, he's not doing any damage - wrong!
An 8 - year - old is way too young to be walking home from school, and it's illegal for a child his age to be home alone. Talk to your attorney, and also call CPS. I think until Dad gets anger management and learns some parenting skills, the custody agreement should be revised. CPS will NOT put your son into foster care if he has a stable and willing relative (you) to care for him.

Answer 5

I think you are well within your rights to call Child Protective Services if you have any concerns, you can't allow your child to continue to be in a violent atmosphere were he is learning that it is OK to hit women if your angry or to get your own way, I would bet he is scared out his mind to.

I'm not sure what the area is like where your son has to walk from the bus but if there is no one at home when he gets there then, at only 8 years old, yes I would be concerned. OK he goes to the neighbours but what if they are out one time because that's all it takes and frankly why take that chance.

Good luck, I hope it all works out for you and your son.

Answer 6

I would definitely call the police and child protective services. If might be to late for her to have a better childhood but you can help her have a better teenage life. If that was your child you would not want her to do that stuff. I think mothers like that should be made to have their tubes tied so that they can't corrupt other children. I would hurry and call before it gets worse.

Answer 7

BEFORE you go calling CPS you need to talk to his father. TELL HIM how you feel and ask him what's really going on. AFTER you've talked with him then you need to talk to the gf. See if their stories match. THEN you have a GROUP meeting with everyone involved. SOMEONE needs to be there to get him off the bus...PERIOD! (no exceptions there) I pray this works for you and him. It must be horrible having to worry all the time about your son. HOWEVER he is old enough to say that he does NOT want to stay with him anymore isn't he?

Answer 8

Take custody of him and call them sure his dad can visit but memories like that will stay with him for a life time!
And who know I doubt that hes hurting him but he might be mad allot and send him to his room allot for no reason...
Plus I dont like him walking alone IM 13 and this is the first year me and my friends started walking alone!
I think you should call them your not taking his dads rights away your just making life easier for everyone!
I know i sound like a know it all but Im really just trying to help!
Good luck with the situation your very smart!
-Christina xxoox

Answer 9

When i was a kid i had to cross a highway by myself, so i wouldn't look too much into that, be concerned, perhaps.

But If his dad is hitting her, I would think about CPS, to at least investigate the claims. If nothing comes of it, at least that will ease your mind.

Answer 10

Why are you even let your son stay here? Joint custody but he stays with his dad during school time? Right then.

You have doubts about the safety of your child and you'd phone a thrid party rather than get in there and sort it out yourself?

Give yourself a shake woman.

You claim to be interested in only your sons welfare yet you know he is in a dangerous situation but are doing nothing about it??