at what age is a good age for a child to be in the room while there mom is giving birth?

Question

hello everyone,i am 4 months pregnant.my daughter will be about 4 in a half when im due.would that be to early of an age for me to have her in the room with me.i sit down and watch labor shows with her and explain to her.my mom and sisters will be with me just in case it is to much for her.my husband wont be able to be with me he will be deployd at the time.so i figured that my daughter can expierince it with me.what is everyones thoughts about that.

Answer 1

I think its alittle young, my stepdaughter is 7 and not gonna be in there with me.

Answer 2

I don't think that at 4yo you should let your daughter in the room too.maybe if she was 17yo or older then yes it's fine.but a 4yo there is some stuff that a little kid should not be seeing.And seeing mommy in pain and screaming and blood is not one of those things.She will always remember having babies as a painful and traumatic experience and never want to do that.You want to be a grandma once right?lol the waiting room with grandpa or another family member is a better idea then after the baby is born and your all cleaned up and better then let her in the room to see the baby and see you.Letting kid's in the room to watch the baby,Yeah the parents want to incorporate the kid's into the birth but not that way.Make a shirt and have her put her handprints on the shirt and write i'm the big sis on it or make something to put on the babies wall and let her help.No it's not going to look perfect but that is the purpose.That is a better way at letting her remember what having a baby is all about until she gets to that age that you have to talk to her about the bird's and the bee's.If the hospital allows it you could videotape it and when she get's to that age that you need to talk to her you can show her the tape and explain to her about what is happening and don't be light about the pain and all that goes on.I know I don't want my daughter think that having a baby is all fun and games when it's not.It's about responsibillity and adult things not kid.
Hope this has answered your question.
Tell your husband that i'm glad he is trying to fight for my family and your families freedom.I respect the soldiers deployed to other parts of the country and soldiers here in the USA.Good luck.

Answer 3

I don't see a problem with it myself. If you are watching shows with her and talking openly about it, she should be fine. It also depends on the individual child. I am planning on having my 3 children in the room with me when I give birth. They will be 11, 9, and 7 yrs old at that time. My family and my husband's is totally against it, but we have sat down with the kids and talked about it , and they are aware of the pain and blood, but they still insist on being there. I have found some of the most graphic videos I could on Utube and let them watch them. They just said they would stay by my head and not watch any of the bloody parts. My mother in law said she will be at the hospital to pick them up as soon as she finds out I am in labor. My kids ask me not to call her and tell her because they want to be there when their new sister is born.

Answer 4

I think 4 is too young. When I had my daughter, my step daughter was 11. She was in the room until just before delivery, then my husband told her to wait in the waiting room with another family member. At 11, I think she was still too young to be there for the actual birth, but the pre-labor pains, etc was an eye-opening experience for her. She'll probably be there for the pre labor excitement of her new sibling as well, but not for the actual birth.

Answer 5

Well everyone here is being negative. I was 4 when my brother was born and I was in the room with my mom. My grandma was holding me and I thought to be a great experience. I was not grossed out. I didn't think my mom was dying. None of those bad things others are saying. I think if you explain to her what will be happening and let her know that she can come in and leave if she wanted then it is fine. More and more people are hiding and shielding things from children in this day and age it amazes me. YOU do what you want to do. I think it would be great for you daughter to be there.

Answer 6

My oldest was 4 years old when her younger sister was born (at home). She was free to come and go as she wanted - she ended up watching the birth and was quite impressed by the whole thing. Now she's 20 years old and she still remembers seeing the birth. I think it's really important that my daughters grew up seeing birth as a normal part of life and not something to be afraid of or looked at as a problem. Also its important that somebody is assigned to the child during labor and birth to be with them and take care of their needs.

Answer 7

I think at 4 she's too young. It MAY be different if Daddy could be there holding her and explaining things to her and be able to comfort her when she needs it, but definitely not without Dad there.
I considered having my 12 yr old daughter in the room with me-along with my husband, but as the date nears, I'm rethinking it. Good Luck in whatever decision you make :)

Answer 8

Frankly, I don't think it appropriate for a child to be present during the birthing process. Having experienced it twice with my wife I can tell you first hand that it is a rather messy and potentially traumatic experience. I really don't think that a child of any age needs to see their mother give birth. That is an experience that should be shared with ones spouse when the time comes.

Answer 9

Not all people will agree with having her there at that age but I know mums who have their babies at home and have children ranging from a little under 2yrs to a lot older around and they do fine. I think if your hospitals policy allows it and you will have another member of the family there like your mum and your daughter is okay with it too then I personally dont see a problem with it.

Answer 10

You want to subject your 4-1/2 year old daughter to blood, hours of screaming, and Mommy in pain?!?!

Talk about traumatizing a child. What purpose would you hope this to serve? Perhaps it's just me, but I think this is a horrible idea.

Answer 11

at 4 i would think she would think that you are being killed,,,, ma-be if she was older she would understand better , i mean you could tell her what is going to happen,,,but actually seeing it is all together different. My 13 year old son use to watch the baby diary's on t.v. ,, i think that is one of the best shows to have teenagers watch,,because they see what their actions will create, and although it is a beautiful thing the girls see pain,,the boys see responsibility.