Ok so I am getting married May 08 and my dad is not really in my life but is my dad. I have a 2 year old he has only seen twice and never calls me and never does anything for me. I have a step dad that does really anything and everthing for me and has been there since i was about 10 years old. He is who my sons knows a papa. I have told my step he was going to walk me down the isle but i want to invite my dad to the wedding..Not that i even know if he will come for sure or not? but should i let the one who has been there for me walk me down the isle or just let both? I need some help?
2007-10-11 02:59:44 · 20 answers · asked by Thinking of Baby#2 <3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Typically the person that means the most to you would walk you down the aisle... I had my mom and dad walk me because they both have always been there for me... but if your "real dad" hasnt really been much of a father, he isnt the one really giving you away, your step dad is... definitely invite him to the wedding.... but if you are even having thoughts abou him not even showing, its probably a bad idea to expect him to be there to walk you down
Good luck and congrats!
2007-10-11 03:05:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I'm sorry you're stuck in this situation.
If your father has not been in your life, is not close, and you don't even know if he will show up, then I don't see any reason to have him get the honor of walking you down the aisle. Still invite him to the wedding if you wish, but keep your expectations low. Perhaps get him a boutonniere as well.
Your stepfather has been there for you and is special to you. Besides, you already asked him. Go with your first choice and keep just your step dad to walk you down the aisle.
Good luck.
2007-10-11 11:40:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just got married last month and share a similar viewpoint of what you are going through. I did not ask my father to walk me down the aisle because he left my mother nearly 8 years ago and has had limited contact with me since then...by his own choice. I did not have anyone walk me down the aisle since my mother never remarried. I did invite him and and in retaliation, he declined to go at all... and basically berated me trying to make me change my mind. In the end... one week before, he decided to go after all with the persuasion of his new wife.
Your biological father does not deserve the honor if you don't think he does. I know some people will say your father is your father and you should honor that because it may ruin things permanently between you two, but it is an honor...NOT an expectation or a requirement. Have the one who has been there and supported you have that honor. Invite your father and let him make the choice....he may get angry, he may vent. But in the end, it will be his choice to go or not. In the end...it is about you and your fiance. Don't let this sour such an important event in your life. Focus on the two of you and I wish you all the best. Congratulations!
2007-10-11 10:45:15 · answer #3 · answered by Kim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While your step dad may be more like a dad to you like you said before my father is still my father. Even if you have a bad relationship your father may take this as a complete slap in the face and this could wreck any chance of future reconcilliation. Even though he is not in your life I am sure he would like to be honored just for being your father. You could let your mother walk you down the aisle. She has been there for you from day one and Im sure at times played the role of both mom and dad. You can have both walk you down the aisle but I would fear that may seem awkward. You have to do whats best for you but keep in mind even though your real dad may not be the best dad he still has feelings and might take this harshly. Talk to your mother as I am sure she will be able to help you through this decision. Both your fathers should be honored and your step father should not be forgotten on this special day because he has been there with you and stepped up to the plate when you real dad didnt. Good Luck!
2007-10-11 10:32:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let your step dad walk you down the isle, invite your birth father just like any other guest. If your birth father asks, just say Oh "stepdad" is going to walk me down the isle". Keep it light as though there you never dreamed there would be an issue with it, and most likely there won't be.
2007-10-11 10:48:20 · answer #5 · answered by L H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your step-father has been much more of a dad to you than your biological father. I say let your step-dad walk you down the aisle. He's the man in your life who has been there for you and helped you with things.
Invite your biological father if you want, but I wouldn't give him such an honorable part in my wedding since he hasn't had an honorable part in my life.
Congratulations on your wedding, though!
2007-10-11 10:16:15 · answer #6 · answered by Loves the Ponies 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The person that is supposed to walk you down the aisle is the man or woman who has been there for you in life and helped guide you to becoming the person you are today...that could be a parent, step parent, sibling, friend, everyone is different...in you case you have 2 choices, either have your step fatehr walk you down the aisle or if you want to avoid conflict, you could have your mom walk down the aisle
2007-10-11 10:36:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Step Father should be the one walking you down the aisle. Your birth Father gave up that right by simply not being there for you.
2007-10-11 11:16:27 · answer #8 · answered by sassssy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most definetly, allow your step dad to walk you down the aisle. Like you said your Dad was in your life growing up so honor your stepdad by allowing him to ecsort you down the aisle.
2007-10-11 10:30:59 · answer #9 · answered by rosemary512002 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I THINK YOU KNOW WHATS RIGHT, YOU STARTED YOUR QUESTION WITH YOUR ANSWER!
IF YOU WOULD HAVE NEEDED A DAD IN THE PAST HE WASN'T THERE.
BUT THANK GOD YOUR DAD WAS! GET IT?
DON'T MAKE IT CONFUSING, IT'S VERY CLEAR.
NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO THINK ABOUT HIS FEELINGS.
IT'S THE TIME TO FOCUS AND ENJOY A ONCE IN A LIFE TIME EVENT, STARTING FROM START TO FINISH.
DON' ROB YOURSELF OF THIS GIFT.
SEPARATE THESE ISSUES, WHICH ARE REALLY NOT ISSUES.
YOUR BIO.DAD HAS DONE A GOOD JOB, OF SHOWING NOT JUST THINKING HIS DECISIONS, THIS SHOULD MAKE IT EASIER FOR YOU.
BUT DO YOURSELF A FAVOR, DON'T GET CAUGHT UP IN SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN DECIDED A LONG TIME AGO BY YOUR BIO. DAD.
BESIDES LIKE YOU SAID HE MIGHT NOT EVEN SHOW UP.SO WHY BOTHER WITH IT?
IF YOU WANT TO INVITE HIM DO SO, JUST LIKE YOU ARE ALL YOUR OTHER GUEST. THAT'S ALL HE SHOULD AND COULD BE.
2007-10-11 11:43:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋