I want to join the Army, i have not told my boyfriend yet but know he wont be happy. I have brung this subject up in conversation in a hypthetical manner and he was against it.
There is a big age gap between us (i'm 20 he's 34), and feel this is where the problems happen, he already has a career and i want to make one for my self. He would be happy if i moved in and he was the bread winner but this isn't me. I want to join the Army, go to far away places, work hard, and achieve something.
Sometimes i feel he's alot of hard work, i have to watch what i say so he doesn't take it the wrong way & have to make sure i text him throughout the day otherwise he gets in a strop.
I also dont like who he is when he has had a few drinks. We've only been together for three months and twice he has been extremely verbally abusive towards me after alot of drink.
All this aside i love spending with him, he's a different person. He's funny, kind & generous.
Help me!!!!
2007-10-11 02:50:24 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Get rid of this control freak and join the British Army.
You will meet new and interesting, exciting people of your own age who will have something in common with you.
You seem to be the type of person the British Army needs, someone who WANTS to join, see things and places, do things that you couldn't do anywhere else.
I wouldn't mention anything to him. Just get on and do it and let him get drunk and be nasty to someone else
2007-10-11 03:48:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look you need to do what you want, and you have only been with this guy for a few months, he really doesn't know what he wants nor do you. There is a huge age difference, and I what you're saying, he has his career, and he doesn't want to be uprooted, by you going to the army. You will be stationed in different locations, and he doesn't want to move. I would really look at the relationship you have with him anyways. If he gets verbally abusive when he drinks its not going to be better after a while, it will probably get worse, and if you want to join the army do it. You don't need his permission. In the long run, I would move on, and do what you want, and leave him hanging there is a lot of good men out there your age or a little order that would be great for you that would love for you to join the army and do what you want with your life.
2007-10-11 09:58:03 · answer #2 · answered by Tommy's_Sweet_Girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Truthfully sweety, hes older then you and he likes it this way, so he can control you, it will be the same in the military until you get enough rank to tell others what to do, so think about it. Your NCO's will have to know were you are at all times and you can't mouth off at your NCO's (but there are some women who can, believe me and if you are these women, more power to you) and the ones who drink alot get into trouble if they get caught with a DUI.
Well all comparisons aside, he is not your parents, nor your dad, nor is he your husband or even your NCO for that matter, you are your own women and you still have a future a head and if you join the military you will have superiors telling you what to do, so you have to decide now, do you want the military to tell you what to do or this Guy to for the rest of your life (the military for twenty years and then you get retirement pay and education money for all your trouble). I got a lot of money when I got out because I couldn't make SGT so I got lipo suckin, I have a nice waist line now, I am going to school now and I found a nice military man to marry, I have been to Korea, Panama, Germany, and Kuwaite (the war). Oh and by the way, the military got me away from my dad who did not believe women should ever get out of the house and get an education. So its your choice.
2007-10-11 11:25:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're probably not going to like this answer hun, but I'd say go for it and ditch him.
I'm an ex soldier and I saw this many many times, (admittedly it was usually the other way round, women forcing men to leave) and I hated it, it's ridiculous to think that one person can control anothers destiny.
I know that sounds like a bit of a dreamy word hun but it's true. You only have one life to live. Do you want to spend it doing a dismal nomark job and living a boring every day life just so you can stay with a man?
Or do you want to make something of your life? Do something that you can look back on in 50 years and think 'I've lived a good life!'
The army will give you that, you will travel, you will probably go to numerous places and help shape/play a part in world history, you can get a degree, qualifications, and you will be able to look at yourself with pride.
And eventually you will meet a man who is doing the same things for himself, and will love the fact that you are too.
Good luck hun, and enjoy every minute of it!
2007-10-11 10:45:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't know this guy well enough to think about including him in your life. He's too old for you, his drinking is a BIG minus, and you haven't known him well enough to not pursue your dreams. Your parents didn't raise you to tie yourself down with anybody at such a young age. Especially someone 14 years older than you. When you are 34, he will be 48. His bad habits now will be 200 % worse then.
Do what you want for your future. It's YOUR future. It feels so good not to be tied down to somebody else when you have dreams that haven't been fullfilled.
P.S. There are a lot of funny, kind and generous guys out there. You don't need an older one who drinks.
2007-10-11 11:14:02 · answer #5 · answered by Barbra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At your age you need to find what you want to do with your life. No girl needs a control freak for a boyfriend. However, before you join the army make sure that you know what you are getting into. Remember there is a war on and people are getting killed.
2007-10-11 09:58:57 · answer #6 · answered by Diane M 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you need to make your way in the world and this is your time to do it. So he wont be happy, will you be if you stay? This is something you want for yourself and your future. You are 20 years old, go out and join the army and make something of your life. It sounds like if you stay with him he will bring you down and you have too much ahead of you for that. Good Luck
2007-10-11 10:06:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are 20 and you shouldn't pass up on doing what you want to do. You need to live your life and NOT HIS. The military is a good career path if you want to learn a skill and gain focus in your life. Don't automatically determine the Army is the best choice for you.... visit all of the recruiters and look at all the services for what they have to offer you.
You need to determine what is important in your life and go for it. Living someone else's life will leave you with unfulfilled desires and disappointments as you get older.
Good luck.
Z
2007-10-11 09:57:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if it's your dream then go for it! If he truly loves you he'll understand and support you. If he doesn't well then maybe he's not meant for you. My husband did the same thing to me he joined the navy without really consulting me. I was pissed at first but I followed him anyways because I love him.
A side note the military is no walk in the park they can be very verbally abusive as well, very demanding, you'll be exposed to drunk guys at times (who will probably hit on you) and you'll lose a lot of your independence. So if you can handle all that then go for it and good luck!
2007-10-11 10:32:37 · answer #9 · answered by Lordes Skye 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before you commit to anything you need to follow your dreams, remember he's 34 so has achieved his, and experienced a lot compared to your 20 years. You only know him 3 months, and while this should still be the honeymoon period you already have a long list of things you don't like about him, so just think about that.
2007-10-11 09:58:52 · answer #10 · answered by fancypants 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋