ok here's the issue...i have a beautiful 13yr old daughter. she's extremely smart(she's on the national jr honor society, principal honor roll every 6 weeks)...BUT..yes that's a big BUT...she doesn't take much pride in her appearance...i buy her nice clothes but she pulls out the ratty outside clothes to wear to school..she wears her hair in a ponytail everyday and wears her hoddie every day also...i'm going crazy...now my 15yr old son on the other hand is a "pretty boy" he always dresses to impress and cares about how he looks...i'm fixin to pull out my hair...anyone else have this issue....i'm not saying i want her to dress like a sex goddess but i want her to realize that she can dress nicer then what she does....
2007-10-11 01:51:50 · 14 answers · asked by ♥ Infantry Wife ♥ 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
she just got done with cross country..this is the first time she's ever shown any interest in sports..she's not into impressing boys since according to her "she's going to be lawyer and her husband better either be a lawyer or a doctor because she's not taking care of some man"...
2007-10-11 03:36:06 · update #1
Oh yes. Had the same issue at that age - although she is now an adult with her own little girls.
Yes, it is a phase - but one that you need to keep an eye on. My guess is that she is emulating what her friends are wearing. And 13 is still an age where the (excuse me) hormones may not have kicked in yet, to the point that she has any desire to impress the boys. You did not say, but is she a bit of a tomboy, involved in athletics. Really does not make any difference.
You just enjoy every minute that you have her. Like I say, keep a close eye on her friends - but you do have to let her express herself to a point also.
I guarantee - that you will blink - and they will suddenly be adults. Hang in there Mom. Good Luck.
2007-10-11 02:08:57 · answer #1 · answered by ump2please 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I kinda have the same problem but the oother way around, my 10 year old, yes 10 year old wants to wear clothes that shows everything off. she is developing pretty quick and she thinks she is 18 and can wear what she wants how she wants, i have been pulling my hair out for the last year. My other daughter on ther hand dresses like little girls should dress like.
2007-10-11 10:27:20 · answer #2 · answered by Broken Tiger. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not there yet, my oldest is still 10. I still have some persuasion over their dress, lol. I think at some point you might have to step in and force a compromise. I mean come on what girl wouldn't want to go shopping. Once the new clothes come in, the old get donated. Preach a little about self respect.
2007-10-15 03:09:37 · answer #3 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is trying to establish her own individuality and sense of self. She is probably trying to break out of the brainiac geek squad while still keeping up with her inner drive to excell in academics.
Leave her alone, let her wear what she wants. Next year it will be goth clothes, the year after that preppie style, the year after that something else. She will experiemnt until she discovers the look and persona that she is comfortable with.
I am at this stage with girl number 4, it all works out eventually.
2007-10-11 10:01:55 · answer #4 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought that she might feel uncomftable with her body shes turning into a young women do you really think that a 13 year girl whos getting lumps and bumps everywere want to were tight girly clothes that are showing of these lumps and bumps why not try get a girly hoody? you can never force a girl put something on she doesnt want to weir! have youve told her about the birds and bees? does she know whats happening to her is she getting bullied and has got bruises she doesnt want to show? it mihg tjust be the latest trend at school or thats what all her other friends are weiring! shes 13 not 15 shes just a kid she shoudnt be thinking about whats shes weiring she should be thinking about friends, sport, games, children things not adult fashion!!!!! love her for what she is! shes your daugher be grateful you have one!
2007-10-11 09:12:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You really have to give them some slack. Learn to choose your battles. If she is a good kid, keeping out of trouble, keeping her grades up, hanging out with the right "crowd", don't worry about a little thing like how she dresses (within reason of course). I found my daughters were much more responsive to me on the inportant issues when I let them have their way (or partially their way) on the not so important ones.
Hang in there and good luck!
2007-10-11 09:03:43 · answer #6 · answered by marystoy_2000 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've had 2 daughters who were teenagers eons ago.
Both are now grown up with families of their own.
There is light at the end of the tunnel ~ give her some space and the chance to be herself.
Vern
2007-10-11 09:02:40 · answer #7 · answered by gorseinonboy 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with what your daughter is doing, and I am amazed you are concerned. She obviously is showing more love for learning then looking nice.
Who do you want her to look nice for? Boys in her class...who will treat her like less of a person because she values her looks more then her brains.
Let her be herself, pony tails are comfortable and writing and reading in school is hard with hair in your eyes.
Sweaters are casual school appropriate and comfortable.
If she is showering and getting straight A's, I don't see you have anything to worry about. I don't even know where to begin answering this question, it is so insane.
2007-10-11 09:04:10 · answer #8 · answered by vegface 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Please just accept her as she is...your description of your daughter fits my daughter also. 13 is a tough age, kids feel self conscious enough as it is, let them be comfy for school. I draw the line at dirty clothes or offensive, but what you are describing doesn't sound bad. Back off mom, pick the important things to have battles over, be glad she is a good student, and learn to accept that your little woman has tastes of her own. Good luck mom!
2007-10-11 08:58:26 · answer #9 · answered by JungleJane 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
shes trying to be in "IN"...its the style now, im 13 and you decribe the way me and my friends dress, when you go out on a date or somthing, you dont go in a dress any more, you pull your hair in a pont-tail and brush your teath, call it good.the times have changed, face it.
2007-10-11 10:24:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋