Do you think you should stay in a marriage if your husband is a good provider, father and gives you the security you need? If your feeling unhappy, feelings have changed, and you feel trapped.
What would you do?
2007-10-10 23:01:21 · 27 answers · asked by Vixx 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes my husband knows how I feel. We have tried many times to make things better. We have been married 9 years. I felt things were not quite right before our first wedding anniversary, things have just got gradually worse.
2007-10-11 02:10:39 · update #1
Go and find happiness, I know that sounds harsh but I did it and never looked back
2007-10-10 23:04:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Yes i would and have stayed. What you are experiencing is life after kids... that feeling of being trapped is extremely intense. You need to ask yourself what will change if you leave? Feelings will change constantly, that's just how it is. Has he done anything that would make your feelings change? If not them it's highly likely you are feeling somewhat depressed. Depression affects people in many different ways and it affected me in exactly the same way as you describe, i felt so trapped, alone in a house full of people and more than anything i thought escaping would solve everything... boy am i glad i didnt do that. With some help from my doctor i was able to find my way again and i now realized that if my hubby hadnt have been a secure rock that gave my family stabilty even though i wasnt stable, if he hadnt have been a great dad to make up for me withdrawing and had given me financial problems ontop of my emotional ones.... then i know for a fact that things would have been different. If he isn't controlling deliberately... thn trust that it wouldnt matter who you were with... thats how it gets sometimes. Read through some of the questions on here about abuse, hubbies not working ect ect... and you will see that if your man is the man you say ... then you really have it made. Don't leave without seeing your doctor and telling him how you feel inside. Exhaust all avenues of help THEN if you still feel the same... maybe it would be worth moving on. Remember this.... It wont be like this forever!!!! Kids will start school, youll claim some sanity and freedom back.... it is then you will truly appreciate what you have.
2007-10-11 06:50:59 · answer #2 · answered by Shazela 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give your marriage many many more chances. If you look at your marriage over the nine years, every year has not been the same. It has been good, bad, best and worst. So ups and downs do come. No one can be perfect including myself and yourself too. There is nothing called perfect world. So instead of blaming one another you take the initiative of adjusting and forgiving one another. The world knows more on how to demand and knows less on how to sacrifice for the other and how to give to the other. Hence learn to sacrifice and do what you expect your spouse to do. Eventually things will change and shape for good. If you keep looking for perfection then whole of your life you will be hopping from post to pillar. Always remember an A known devil is always better than unknown angel. You will get more answer and understanding from - Matthew 6:12 and Matthew 6:14-15
2007-10-15 05:58:55 · answer #3 · answered by Raj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should not attack your marriage if you feel trapped, unhappy. What do you feel trapped from? If you want other men, then no..you need a divorce, otherwise free yourself without damaging your marriage and family. You could let your hair down once a week or take on positive projects. At the very least talk to your husband about your feelings and see how much thought he gives it. He should know the gravity of your next action if he dismisses your innermost feelings.
The grass is probably not greener on the other side where you may be drawing in your children as well to a life of unknown risks eg step parental abuse, violence, STDs, lower morale
2007-10-11 06:30:19 · answer #4 · answered by mybeach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is causing you unhappiness? Is it your husband? Is it your life? You need to sit down and ask yourself these questions and more. Also why not talk it over with your husband, tell him how you are feeling and you may find that he can help you find answers.
Don't be too eager to give up on your marriage just because something isn't right, try fixing the problem before walking away.
2007-10-11 06:36:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this question?
Would you be better off if you seperated and divorced him? Are you ready for the emotional roller coaster of divorce.
Do you have a job? Where will you live?
I went througha divorce and consider it one of hte worst experience of my life. THe emotional effects stay for a long time.
It would be better for you to sit down and talk to your husband about how you feel. Try to rekindle the relationship and stay together.
What attracted you to him in the first place? What has changed that would make you want to get a divorce?
Divorce is not as easy as some on this site make it out to believe. Talk with a friend tha has gone through a divorce and see if they are happier.
2007-10-11 06:23:22 · answer #6 · answered by will_955 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree,you have the right to be happy in your own life.Your partner can still be a good provider and good father with regards the children whether you are together or not..Plus you might just find that once you are out of this situation that you feel stuck in and are happy..you will become an even better mum too because you will be so much more at peace.Good luck,Only you can decide.
2007-10-11 06:11:05 · answer #7 · answered by mel 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
What's wrong with your marriage? Why aren't you happy and is it really anything to do with your hubby? How long have you been married? Have you children? When did your feelings change? Are you interested in someone else? It's hard for outsiders to judge. Something must be happening and yo need to look long and hard at it. Is he good to you? Genuinely? Hmmm, maybe you just think there's more out there...
2007-10-11 07:23:28 · answer #8 · answered by Boudicca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he hasn't given you quality time anymore? that may have changed the feelings?....he is always at work all the time? Make him to give you time dear....he has married you to have a life together. if he is not giving you that...ask him what does family really mean to him? and you...recall the time that you first loved him and why you love him and married him...if you still do not see why you are in the marriage...ask him....is family really all about having things rather than loving people? if he has a tight sked at work...have an appointment...to let him see that he needs to give you time or else....everything that he builded for you...his family will crumble.
2007-10-11 06:32:00 · answer #9 · answered by sdrbl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you try marriage councilling? It would be a shame to throw away 9 yrs of marriage, but its completely up to you, if you don't think that marriage councilling will work then there is no point being in a marriage. But, if you do decide that you wanna part always try to maintain a friendship with him as you do have kid/s.
2007-10-11 13:45:41 · answer #10 · answered by Livelovelaugh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was me, I'd try to get the spark going again. You must have loved him at some point, so try to get that back. Sometimes it's just the lust that's gone from a marriage and if that's the case go all out to bring it back.
If you find you really don't love him, let him go. If you don't, you'll ruin his chances of finding true happiness and you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
2007-10-11 08:44:56 · answer #11 · answered by millie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋