How to cope with Divorce and continued accusations of having an affair by ur husband to our friends and church

Question

Im so dipressed, ive filed for Divorce and asked my husband to leave, so he`s staying at his parents, He gave people inpression of me having an affair while he was so obsessed and insecure of me and abused me verbally and immotionally for the past 8 years but still supporting our family as he is not working, for the way its been said i feel like i did it for real, We have 2 sons, 8 yrs and 18 months, he even went to our friends and told them that he`s not sure if our second born is his, it broke my heart and made me draw a line of our marriage, only people who are close to us knows what exactly is happening, but the rest esp at church sees me as a cheater to my husband who is even left the home. i cant face anybody and i cant even talk to anyone, i never shared my problems with anybody even my family untill i decided to file for divorce, and everybody sees him as this good "elder" or christian at church which makes him this perfect someone. Please help how do i cope,

i cant leave my church, i feel il be running away, i know that sometimes is just in my mind, but it make things to be difficult for me, He always managed to manipulate every sirtuation and it suited, so i fear that he`ll get away with this one again.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry, but it all sound so familier. i can tell you what I did. You are you, True to yourself = true to your heart = true to your GOD. And please don't go around trying to explain yourself to everybody. You will lose their respect. If the people in Your church give you the funny funny look, then it's not your church. Cheer up, be true to yourself, look after the kids, they give you unconditional love. As for those who think you are not good enough for them, SEE IF I CARE. ( i don't go to my Temple anymore ) You can't please everybody in your life, So you might as well go out and have your own life.

Answer 2

The best thing you can do is not let it bother you. I know thats hard but at least don't let anyone see that it bothers you. In time people simply won't care because it wil be yesterday's news.

Continue to put your best foot forward. People will see the truth, more than you think probably do already. Don't go around denying or looking for ways to tarnish his image, as tempting as it may be. It just makes you look bad.

There is no quick fix for this problem. This is all about church - take some advice and turn the other cheek. Pray for him, ask for strenght from God to forgive him.

I've been in very simular shoes as you, but painted as an abuser. It bothered me - I wanted to scream it isn't true. Over the ppast couple of years I've run into people in stores, palygrounds, etc. I am contually amazed at how they know the truth and their empathy has been great comfort.

Answer 3

I'm sorry you are having to deal with such a mean spirited person. Keep your faith strong and know you are in the right and can hold your head up high. God is the only one that should really be judging you. If members of your church don't change and start treating you with respect, it's time to tell them why you are going to choose another church to attend. It's not going to be easy. Just remember, "If God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it." God's speed to you and your children.

Answer 4

If you can not talk to your pastor about the situation, you are already in trouble. Change churches. If they are judging you, they are not good Christians. Only God has the right to judge you. Sooner or later, he will show his colors, so let him have enough rope to hang his own pitiful self. God does not sleep, honey. He realizes what you have been through, and will help you, and guide you to happiness. God Bless You.