My roomates boyfriend is at the house!! WTF??

Question

She left for vacation for the week. I thought "yay, house to myself"!!!!!. Next thing you know, I come home and he comes in the house! Hes on the couch all night talking, watching tv, etc, and then asks "I'm sorry. Am I invading your privacy? Is it okay If I stay the night?". He doesn't have a place to live down here yet (where he works). So he slept on the couch. WTF? My roomate told me NOTHING that he was expected to stay here while she's gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!I Im soooooo pissseeeeed offffffffffffFFFFFF! I feel like strangling her! Should I look for another place to live? Or should I wait till she comes back to strangle her?


The fact is she never told me! Hes a nice guy, but still! WTF!?? I feel totally uncomfortable in my own ******* house!

Answer 1

I would tell him no but thats me...I would look for a new place to live...

Answer 2

Where was he staying before? Trust me he can stay somewhere else, it is just your place happens to be better for him.
What you do is real simple. You tell him very directly....
"For some reason Suzie did not ask for my permission for you to stay here. I am not sure why she would do that, but I was really looking forward to having a week to myself. So you can not stay here." When he says...What am I supposed to do? You say, I really don't want to get involved in your personal bussiness and relationship with Suzie. So you will have to talk to her and find out why she would mis-handle this situation. If there is any resistance or comments, then you take it up another notch and say, "I am shocked that you and Suzie would take such a liberty without any discussion at all with me. It really is very unfair of both of you to put me in this position. For you to think you can just flop at someone elses apartment is a very big assumption on your part. The fact that you have made no plans for getting an apartment or where you will live is not my responsibility.....right? Get a confirmation. You need him to agree and say Right.

You had better take a clear and simple stand right now. From your language and many exclaimation points I can tell you are dealing more with the drama than the facts.
You have to understand this very simple fact the reason this happened to you is because they felf they could get away with it.
I have a saying in these situations.....Isn't that magnamous of you to dismiss my inconvincence, expense or suffering due to your fault.
For example: I had a new Volvo with 3,000 miles on it (keep in mind the reason I bought a new car was to have a NEW car) and someone bumped me at a red light, they were on a cell phone and just hit the gas when the left turning lane got the arrow. It caused a dent 1/2 inch deep and 4" x 8". The paint on the bumper was cracked, and by the way would have gotten worse over time and fully chipped off.
This person was shocked I wanted to call the police and file an insurance claim. I let her bable on for a few sentances and said, very directly, that is very generous of you suggest that I dismiss the damage you have caused.
This type of thing happens all the time, we just don't notice it.

Answer 3

Before you get angry at her, she may have not known that he was going to crash at your apartment while she was gone. More than likely (I hope so, anyway), she would be just as uncomfortable with her boyfriend being alone in an apartment with you as you are with the situation. (Not saying that you would do anything, but the idea of it makes anyone a little squeamish inside.)

When she returns just politely tell her that you would have preferred it if she had informed you that her boyfriend was going to be staying at the apartment & that you would have liked to be asked whether or not it was ok since you are paying half of the living expenses. (It's your apartment too, you know!) You may even want to call her now & let her know, since if she knew (but didn't tell you) that's a huge breach of respect.

If she blows you off or does anything like this again you should look for a new roommate and/or apartment. It doesn't matter how nice the guy is, it's still wrong that she didn't run this by you first. You could have had plans (of the romantic kind) that were ruined by this guy being in the apartment.

Answer 4

First, you must evict the boyfriend from the house.

This is a danger issue. This guy whom you don't know at all is in your house, in your living space, habitating when it's very possible that he can try something. Don't give him that chance. Everything else is a side issue. The issue at hand involves your wellbeing. Tell him to get out. Be polite, but don't sugarcoat your words. He has to understand that you're serious and adamant, and that it's not shifty subjective matter. He has to go.

After that, go and have a nice long conversation with your roommate. She shouldn't be inviting danger into your life like this. It doesn't matter if even she herself doesn't know about her boyfriend's going-on's. The point is, she's the connecting block between you and the boyfriend who are forced to come into close contact. You have to make it clear that you won't tolerate this kind of situation ever.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Oh I would be so p*****d too. If you are living in a studio then Heck No! If he pays no rent he has no right to be there without your consent. What if he decides to bring some friends to stay? You need to consider your safety and tell him Sorry but you can't stay here. If he refuses you can always call the police but it's a bit tricky if he's nice and all.
Having said that he's probably not totally homeless, I mean where does he normally stay? I bet he has friends he can go to.

Answer 6

I can't say I blame you. I once came home to find a roomate's brother sleeping on the couch in the living room. I was used to coming home and watching TV, and nobody had mentioned that he would be sleeping over, so that's what I did. My roommate came out of his room and said, do you mind? My brother is trying to sleep! I said actually, yeah,I do mind! If you had told me your brother was going to be here, I would not have a problem at all. But when I come home and find a complete stranger sleeping in my living room, well I kind of figure, wtf, anything goes!

Answer 7

can you call her on her celllphone, maybe she doesn't even know he's there, have they been together long? You could tell him yeah he is invading your privacy & ask him to leave, or pretend someone else is coming over to stay so he has to go. it's your freaking place & he's not paying you so do what you like, I'd be furious. If your friend knew about it then she's an inconsiderate beeeaaaach to have not asked your permission. Plant alalfa seeds in the carpet in her bedroom so she'll come back to a mini forest.....

Answer 8

Kick him out ?? If you lack the backbone you can call your roomate and tell her to ask him to leave , if not , tell her since he is there all the time , the rent is going to split three ways , and if he does not have his share come time to pay , she can pay his portion , why do you have to pay half the rent for her man.....

You said he asked if it was OK to stay the night ?? why did you not get have a big enough backbone , and say "" No it is not OK if you are here " because he does not have a place to stay is not your problem ...

Answer 9

OK, she is just rude.But here's what u do.U got some Karo syrup?Or some xlax? Karo is best.Or u can take ipecac and make him a nice glass of wtf ever he drinks.And nicely watch him puke and poop his self to death.Or u could be real nice and say something lie excuse me, I hate to bother u ,seeing u have so much to do.But Id appreciate before u brought Ur aZZ to my house if ud check.Or u could get him drunk and then literally pee in his shoes.Sounds gross,But I did it years ago to my brothers friend,Does he have a toothbrush there?If he does,,, Then we know what to do with it right?I don't mean brush Ur teeth either!And when she got back,sit her down and explain to her how u feel.If that don't work,,email me,Ill come remove them both from Ur house lol I need a vacation!Don't forget to walk right by his head and sounds bad,but pass gas.And then say OMG I forgot u were there.LOL

Answer 10

I would be angry too. She should have discussed this with you before she left!! You need to sit down with her and draw up some ground rulles if you plan to stay there. Obviously, she does not know what it means to be considerate of others. In the meantime, I would tell him that he will need to make other arrangements for the rest of the week. Tell him that you had made other plans since your roommate was out of town.

Answer 11

Dear needs help
I can totally understand this is not easy.First ask your self a few questions. Why did she go on vacation without him, where did he get the key, and maybe she wants him to sleep with you to have an excuse to move out. Maybe she has a b.f on vacation that sehs seeing and is trying to dump him and stick you with him.