need patient,understanding readers to answer-i'm very scared and worried...is it over?!!!?

Question

been w/my bf for 3 years (he's 29 never married, i'm 28 w/3 girls part-time). we don't live together but i spend most of my time at his house (we don't have sleepovers when i have the kids so we don't confuse them-not till we are engaged).

we've had our issues due to me having PMDD. i see a counselor and takes meds for it. he almost cheated on me 6 months into the relationship (went out to dinner w/another girl but called her to tell her no more talking when i found out and left him). 2 months ago after an bitter fight-he called a girl co-worker just for someone to talk to-they talked for 2 hours then never spoke again. 3 weeks later she called him while i was at his house-he answered saying his gf was there and that she was not to ever call him again-they no longer speak.

just this past weekend we went camping w/his family. when we returned home-i did all the laundry,dishes,and made dinner. we left for work after that.

pls read below-important for answering

we both work nites. the next day-he got up at 4:30p and stayed on his laptop the entire 2 hours before we had to go to work while i folded more laundry,emptied the dishwasher, and made cookies. he then showered and we left for work. he emailed me later that nite to tell me to stay at my house b/c he wanted "me time". i was upset so didnt email back. the next day he emailed me to ask how i slept-when i didnt write back he called me. i told him i slept badly and he said he was sorry. he then emailed me again to tell me to stay home that nite too b/c he was working late and was having trouble sleeping w/me there!

i got upset and thought he was cheating so i drove to his work to check. when he found out i was there-he got really mad and emailed me telling me to leave him alone for a while and he would call me when he was ready

oh and he wasn't talking to girls on the laptop-i could see it from where he was sitting. he flies rc airplanes and was on the hobby website

will he lv?

Answer 1

i agree with sunshine queen. sometimes people just need a break for a little bit. you said his laptop was on the model airplanes so he wasnt talkign with girls. just give him some space and dont count him as gone just yet.

Answer 2

Scared? Not at all. After reading some of the answers I've seen on this site, encountering someone with a decent vocabulary would be refreshing. Of course, the person shouldn't use fancy words to try to intimidate you. As for whether there's a difference between "your" and "you're," there most certainly is a difference. "Your" is possessive, as in your car, your grades, your new haircut. "You're" is a contraction for "you are," as in "you're a good friend" or "you're getting a raise." Using good grammar doesn't make a person pretentious, but using poor grammar indicates either a lack of education or an "I don't care" attitude. At least, that's what it means to me, but I admit I may be overly sensitive to things like that. Finally, don't be afraid of someone who understands things like motorcycle wheelies. Just the other day, I saw someone doing one on an interstate highway, with most traffic moving about 70 mph., and the driver didn't even have a helmet on. It was one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. Be glad you don't have any first-hand knowledge of that!

Answer 3

Try to give each other the time and space you both need. You should be able to trust him for the relationship to progress and he should'nt feel being harassed by you or the relationship either. Hopefully, space and time apart will help you both to clear your thoughts of any negative ideas and also make you realize what your expectations with each other and the relationship. After that, have a heart-to-heart talk with him. From there you will both know what lyou want. If he wants out, you will know. But for now, its useless to make assumptions.

Answer 4

I'm 19 and my boyfriend's 33 i know what an age difference but that's what i chose, in the beginning we were strong as ever we also lived apart, about a couple of months after being strong we drifted because i thought he was cheating and made a big deal out of it. you wanna know something, he never cheated not once and he was shattered to here that come from me, he gave me brilliant advice, never ever lost trust in your partner no matter what you imagine is happening, sit down and have it out with them and don't be ashamed, if you lose the trust you may as well throw away the hope, your boyfriend sounds like the person who if you get in a bad fight he going to go out looking for some other girl to make you jealous, and deep down it worked, the moment he thinks you think he's cheating the more it's going to happen and the more it's going to be brought up during fights. talk to him make plans with him, help him and support him and he needs to do the same for you as well.

Answer 5

i think whoever hurt you in the past has scarred you mentally.you don't find it easy to trust and your boyfriend hasn't helped by encouraging this girl.men will say it's possible to have girls as friends mainly because we find it easier to talk about our feelings, but if we were brutally honest ,nine times out of ten it turns into a more intimate kind of relationship. why did he feel the need to turn to her when you fell out? he obviously knows how insecure you are and should have realised how awful you'd feel.you need help to sort out your own head and sorry but i think he's messing with your emotions big style. if you were to ask him to stay away for a while to give you time to sort yourself out, what's the betting he'd use that as an excuse to start "chatting" to this woman again.the other thing is how do you know he doesn't still talk to this woman? if she works beside him then chances are they will at some point have to talk. the conversation he allowed you to hear was probably just for show.im not a cynical person, just realistic. i think you have major issues that need sorting out before you commit yourself to him.your kids are your main priority. good luck x

Answer 6

You sound like you're being kind of obsessive and possessive. That's never good for a relationship. Give him the space he asked for and see what happens.

He was dating around about 6 months in the relationship so I guess you do have a reason to be worried, but if you stayed with him that means you should trust him enough to know that he just wants space for now and that he wouldn't do anything to hurt you.

Answer 7

Only MY opinion, but it looks to me like you are PUSHING him to leave. Jealousy never helps anyone. No, he should not be running to old G/Fs to talk about his problems with you. He should be coming to YOU with them instead of telling you to stay home. Either get some counseling together, IF you plan to stay together, or break it off now. I see nothing healthy in the way either one of you are acting and your relationship is going nowhere. Maybe you are just not meant to be together. Good that you have not involved your kids in all this. I have been divorced 14 yrs and still do not involve my son in my dating or even meeting 99% of the men I go out with until I know where things are going. Kids don't need to take on adult issues. I don't even really date much, maybe once a year or so, but I still go meet or go out and don't involve my kid unless I've been seeing the man months.

Answer 8

It doesn't sound like your bf can be trusted to be faithful,which may mean he's not ready for a serious relationship,or your not the right match...There will be another person that will be a better match for you in the future.I guarantee it.Sometimes we settle for a mediocre relationship because we think we won't find someone better.And,that's definitely not true...

Answer 9

Men like him have been using women like you for too many years to count. If you have to ask this question on this forum, you are already too far into being used. If that is all you want, then you have no problem. If you want more, you need to tell him. If he won't give it to you, find someone who will. Good Luck & Blessings

Answer 10

Honey. It doesn't sound good. I think you should be ready to walk away. You are making yourself miserable. Bottom line, you can't force someone to love you or be faithful to you (no matter how closely you watch them). Walk away and if he wants it to work, he'll come looking for you. If not, there's no way in hell you could have kept him anyway. You just found out sooner, rather than later.