How can i approach my mother and make her understant my situation?

Question

I'm the eldest and and i have 4 siblings. My mother never gives me a chance to explain myself or discuss my feelings and it just kills me inside. Even though I have done alot of good thing to help her and her family but never got any thanks or show of appreciation. i helped her with her resume last month and helped her with job applications so on, still she said that she shouldn't be thanking me. I'm not sure if she loves me or even care. When ever i go to her sisters and discuss what I feel they try to help. They talk to her but she turns back and ***** at me that I shouldn't be talking to them and telling them what she does cause those are her siblings. I never knew my real father and he's not around where i am from and sometimes i cry myself to sleep feeling lonely and unloved. I made myself a promise that I will never do that to my own kids and I treat them all the same even though they have different fathers.

Answer 1

Happened here. Tell your mom something along the lines of I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. Let her know this is important and that you really need her to listen. Tell her how you feel. I'm sure you feel you can't live your life with her treating you this way. Let her know that you want her to be a positive part of your life.You can go to Social Services but I do NOT recommend it. If she gets violent you should probably leave. This woul NOT be running from your problems but solving them. Verbal abuse can hurt even more than physical abuse.

Answer 2

You don't mention your age.
Your mom is probably under a lot of pressure and is probably running depressed. Sluffing that pressure off onto you isn't helping any, I'm sure. Being the eldest often means that you are the "stand in" parent. You are both between a rock and a hard place.

About all you really can do is try to pitch in where you can for your own survival... helping her get a job is part of that.
Save your money so that when you are old enough you can move out... you will need money for a deposit on an apartment even if you are sharing it with a couple of friends.

Answer 3

Aw. That is very sad, I am sorry about your situation. This kind of thing is never easy. Have you ever tried to get in touch with your dad? Maybe he doesn't know he has a daughter...and if he does...maybe you should try to get intouch with him and move in. I really don't know what to tell you. I am sure you have tried talking to your mom already and she obviously doesn't understand. The best advice I can offer is from a friend of mine who had the almost exact same dilema she out of there and found a new life. It is tough but maybe if your mom sees how difficult her life would be without you, she would appreciate you more. I am sure your mom loves you, she just doesn't know how to show it. why don't you get through highschool with good grades, get a part time job, save up money, used the saved up money to either buy a car or put a down payment on one, take out a student loan, and go to college and live on your own...maybe get a friend to go on halves with a dorm, apt, and your car. Start your life smart and show your mom you are worth alot, you can succeed in life and she will appreciate you more in time.

I know this was probably not the best advice...but I just know someone who had a very similar situation and what I just told you is exactly what they did...and you know whats funny? The person that went through this pays her moms bills now. BTW the mom is more loving to her now.

I really hope I helped you..I am not very confident with my advice but I figured I could atleast try.
Good luck with everything.

Answer 4

Sometimes when ppl are stressed, talking becomes loud and there is alot of blaming going on. Sit down with a pen and paper and write down what you need to say to her. Use " I feel...." senteces so she doesnt feel you are attacking her. Tell the things you need to say in a nice way. When someone is given a letter, they have to read it. It's human nature. They can't hang up on a letter, yell at it , or walk out of the room. Getting your feelings down on paper will help you too. In the meantime you should talk to someone like a councelor. No one should have to feel that alone.