What about using some Common Sense with Sex?

Question

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/bal-rape1002,0,4031938.story?coll=bal_tab01_layout

ok I read the Baltimore Sun article and I know there is more to the story than that and I don't know. I'm sure it was something more than just he took a few seconds to get out of her though. Hey guys: Think!

The question at the trial was: "Does sex that begins consensually but continues after the woman tells the man to stop constitute rape?"

Hey I think that common sense says that if you are with someone and they want to stop whatever you are doing than it's as simple as that. They don't want to continue.

I mean if a guy wanted to stop with anything I would no problem. I would ask what's wrong but I would stop because he is not enjoying it.

And...Isn't sex about enjoyment?

Kendrick this is Not about a few seconds .. Yes I read the short article about a long trial and how hard is it to get it that there was more to the case ?

game over01 yes I read that too and I think the whole trial was probably wierd. It is Not good that this is being used to decide for law about consent.

But what I'm saying right here .. if someone is not enjoying sex than isn't something wrong and they should Both know that? And shouldn't Both have a right to stop?

Game Now I agree that someone shot the spots off that girl's dice!

I am saying that the # seconds is not the point..I don't know from just the article if he really stoped or if she had to push him off of her or what .. you can't know from the article and I'm sure that there is something else about the case or it would never have been to court.

Roman these problems happen if people are married too!

Answer 1

wow with all due respect i think the common sense should had come from her , i mean she agreed to have sex with a 15 year old boy or man however anyone wants to call him and then she says that 5 to10 seconds was too long for him to stop , yes i agree there should had been some common sense but in my opinion mainly from her , in any other other case i would say that yes the act should stop as soon as possible but what she did in my opinion was to play with something she obviously should had not played with .


here is the part about the five to ten seconds : The victim, who had met Baby that night, testified at the trial that she told him that "as long as he stops when I tell him to" she would have sex with him.

As he began, she told him to stop because he was hurting her, but he kept going for five or 10 seconds, she said.


by the way she was the adult there '18' so in my opinion with that comes the responsibility of not agreeing in having sex with 15 or 16 years olds who obviously would find more difficult to be able to stop right away . i think that would anger most men , now think about all the hormones running wild on them , he probably thought WTF is she serious !!!??? .

edit : in any other case i would have to agree with u but in this case she was foolish to think they were just gonna stop like that . by the way i do not think that having consensual sex should be considered rape unless one of the two is way way too young , in Canada for example it is OK if she or him are 14 unless it happens in relationship based in trust ( parent for example ) . i also think that this is one of those things in which men and women are different and i bet most women would say it would be easy for them to just stop but it is not the same for a man even when they should have the same rights and responsibilities is not that easy .

note : we should not assume anything with info we do not have , i base my opinion in what i read in that article , idk all the facts . the case is controversial thats its for sure .

Answer 2

This article was really kinda weird. The details sounded "off" and both parties should have known better. The girl never should have agreed to have sex with a 15 year old boy and the boy should have stopped immediately.

However, both parties being in the wrong in this particular case doesn't stop the need to discuss the issue that this case brought up...how long between when a person says stop and the actual stopping occurs is "too long"?

I've read the answers that say that 5-10 seconds is a ridiculously short amount of time for a person to stop activities. This may be true for some men, but any time I've asked someone to stop because they were hurting me, it was an immediate response.

Maybe its simply the act of caring about someone else that makes the response of people different, I don't have the answer to that. Continuing a sexual act, any sexual act after your partner has asked you to stop is reprehensible. It is rape. If you do not have enough control over your own body to stop as soon as your partner asks you too, than you have no business trying to have intimate relations with another person.

Answer 3

I believe that no means NO, and stop means Stop. Having said that , there are points in this case that no one has addressed.
She was 18, and he was 16, consensually sex, with a minor is Statutory Rape. If anyone should have been charge with rape it should have been Her. With all the hormones flowing in a child, i believe that 5-10 seconds was within a reasonable time for the body to re-act from the heat of passion.
This case should not have even ,gone to trial , Shows the Double standard in our system of Justice!

Answer 4

You're right in that when someone wants to stop, the other person should stop. But that doesn't mean that you should take your stopwatch out and give them less than 5 seconds when it takes a second for the human body to slam the brakes on a car.

And if you're sure it was something more than he just took a few seconds to get out of her, then you didn't actually read the article. It clearly states it (5-10 seconds). It's not Debatable. It says it in 'Black and White'. Think(or at least Read!). Even 95% of the Reader comments to the article says that this case was crap because of the 5 seconds.

Edit: She had no other argument besides that.
Here it is: As he began, she told him to stop because he was hurting her, but he kept going for five or 10 seconds, she said.

Answer 5

My dear Sigy. What does common sense have to do with sex? That is why we have law, because common sense is anything but common. This case seems rather debatable and I am sure you kids will do just that for days.
We live in the real world, though and crimes happen all the time that put this peccadillo to shame.
Do not take your eyes off the real crimes of rape to argue this semi-crime to death.

For the rape is about control crowd. Do you think it was all about control in that last 5 to 10 seconds?

Answer 6

It think common sense definitely says that something that begins as consensual can become otherwise. For example, suppose two guys decide to have a friendly wrestling match and then one of them gets hurt and wants to stop but the other guy keeps on maliciously beating on him. That would definitely be assault (or whatever) even though it started out as consensual.

Once the circumstances of something drastically change, the "contract" of consent automatically expires. And if sex started out as feeling good but then turned into hurting, that's definitely a significant change.

Answer 7

as soon as it registers a woman does not want sex he should stop

5 to 10 seconds is a ridiculously short amount of time to stop having sex

How many women have bitten or scratched a mans back painfully in the heat of the moment and it took you time to understand you hurt your man , further time to understand this and act on it ?

Answer 8

None of these questions, none of these problems along with many others would ever arise if sex was reserved exclusively for a loving and committed husband and wife in life-long marriage - as it's supposed to be !!!

That's Common Sense with Sex !!!

Answer 9

ook here we go. in several states when a woman changes her mind in the middle of sex, a man cannot be accused of rape but in many states both partners - when one says no, it is to be respected and during sex if she or he says " no, get off, your not welcome" then both need to respect it. when it comes from both being drunk and consenting or not consenting then it's "he said/she said and it is not followed with sentencing. when it is a rape of a child- you need to be seriously put in jail. when it has to do with justice, women get the short end of the stick and look at the 400+ women in mexico. not one has spoken out or survivrd. only one rape center in juarez? wow. and here in the usa, men chase on and think it is cute to drug and rape women. the lack of respect of women here is atrocious and that is why i am lez. but when a child lies about her age, and a man is convicted- that isn't right and both need to be held accountable. NO MEANS NO ITS AS SIMPLE AS THAT but it's a shame that men don't understand that. that they need to stick it in the next tight thing that comes along and we get called whorES. but in the light of that men can be raped too. i know a man who was. that leads to complete he**. so this can go either way.

Answer 10

Its like to tell a woman to stop in the middle of shopping or a phone conversation... Does it work? I dont think so!

But on a serious note, I would stop, but she would never hear from me again!