Do you have 10 questions that you would like to add to the citizenship test for the USA?

Question

What are they?
And will you please give the answers, too?

Y'all are going to make this really hard to decide which is the best answer, I might have to pick one out of my magic hat.

Answer 1

1. Who is Hillary Clinton?

A. The future queen
B. That girl from the "Lizzy Mcguire" show
C. A fake who spent all her life down in Arkansas, suddenly decided she was a New Yorker after her husband left office because she knew she had not one chance of getting elected where people actually knew who she was, and so duped the entire state of New York into believing that just because she bought one house that she's barely seen the inside of she is qualified to represent their interests.
D. A New York senator and former first lady.

(The answer of course is A)

2. In America we take pride in....
A. Our economic and technological knowledge
B. Our military strength
C. Our protected freedoms under the constitution
D. Howard Stern
E. All of the above

(You guessed it.....E)

3. In America we do NOT take pride in...
A. Religious fundamentalists and fanatics
B. Our bloated crime rate
C. Being overtaxed by Uncle Sam
D. Martha Stewart
E. All of the above

(E again....maybe I should make these harder)

4. What does July 4th signify?
A. Our independence from Britain and the subsequent birth of our nation.
B. The peak of summer heat
C.The birth date of serial killer Ted Bundy
D. Another year for Roseanne Barr without a sexual partner.

(Kind of a trick question. Both B and D are acceptable)

5. If you were in a room with a terrorist, Al Gore, George Steinbrenner, and Rush Limbaugh, and you had a gun with only one bullet, who would you shoot?
A. Al Gore for inventing the internet and making this question possible.
B. The terrorist because you remember 9-11
C. George Steinbrenner because you are a red sox fan
D. Rush Limbaugh because nothing else will ever shut him up.
E. Yourself for being in a room with this collection of drooling simpletons.

(Do I need to tell you the answer is E?)

6. This is a phone test. Follow along with me here.
(* Thank you for calling. Please press one for Spanish or two for English or remain on the line)
If anyone presses one here, they automatically flunk the entire citizenship test.
(Thank you. If you are calling for billing, press one. To report damage, press two. To listen to hold music for a while, press three. To speak to an operator press 6 1/2)
At this point, anyone looking at the phone for the 1/2 button automatically passes the citizenship test. All others must move on to question 7

7. When you see protesters burning the American flag, it makes you feel:
A. Enraged at the disrespect shown.
B. Saddened at the lack of cooth displayed by such heathens
C. Like wetting the bed because you are a pyromaniac
D. Like changing the channel.

(Going with D here. A & B are certainly the foremost emotions, but some news channel is showing this retardation every day. And frankly, it's cutting into Oprah)

8. The Statue of Liberty is...
A. A Symbol of freedom proudly displayed for all foreign visitors to see when first entering this great nation
B. A well crafted structure that proves the French are good for SOMETHING besides croissants.
C. Green
D. The world's single largest Pigeon toilet.

(Once again, while A & B hold truth, D is correct)

9. Betsy Ross was...
A. The Seamstress who sewed the first American flag.
B. The lead singer of "The Supremes"
C. Bill Clinton's 213th mistress
D. A Socialist

(The unconfirmed report is that the answer is C)

10. When obtaining citizenship, you agree to give up....
A. The right to celebrate your own former national holidays by taking a day off of work because you realize you are now an American and will celebrate American holidays and work when Americans work
B. The right to march on Washington DC while flying your former national flag because you realize that if that flag was so important to you you would not be taking this test.
C. Your unique and treasured criticisms on how our military is deployed and how our country is run because you realize that if you had any concept of what a better place was you would not be taking this test.
D. Your memories of "Elian Gonzales"
E. All of the above

(Definately E)


There you go!

Answer 2

1.) Who wrote Federalist 10?
2.) Who was the first vice president?
3.) The Article of Confederation stipulated how many branches of gov't?
4.) What are the requirements for being a Senator?
5.) How many articles are there in the Constitution?
6.) The 16th president of the US is?
7.) First President to be impeached?
8.) What is a pocket veto?
9.) How many justices are on the Supreme Court?
10.) Only President to resign is?

James Madison
John Adams
1- Legislative
30, resident of state to represent, live in country 9 years
7
Abraham Lincoln
Andrew Johnson
An indirect way of killing a bill
9
Richard Nixon

Answer 3

1. Would you die to defend your country from enemies foreign and domestic and if not would you be willing to relocate?
2. Are you for drunk drivers losing their driving privileges for life?
3. Are you for all sex offenders suffering public executions?
4. Should those unnecessarily on welfare be forced into labor camps?
5. Should life term inmates undergo immediate execution to save taxpayer money?
6. Should politicians serve the same sentences for the same crimes if committed by the common man/woman?
7. Should a self sustaining penal colony be developed and ready for operation within the interior of Antarctica?
8. Should foreigners moving to the United States have to serve at least 2 years of U.S. military service and learn English as well?
9. Should repeat offenders be executed immediately?
10. Should protesters be sent to serve military time rather than create havoc, violence, and congestion in city streets?

Yes to all.

Answer 4

Everytime i go to a gun range and there is a sentance mixed in with all the instructions such as "hanna montana is a great kids show". You could include a crazy sentance within the instructions and have a question about it or something. Ultimatly it'd be funny to get alot of immigrants to say something with a spanglish accent.

Answer 5

1. Do you promise to pay your taxes and still receive mediocre public education and healthcare?
2. Do you accept right wing censorship and political correctness to the point where the minority rules the majority?
3. Do you accept that justice is a function of wealth?
4. Do you accept that so-called homeland security is used as a tool to undermine civil liberties?
5. Do you accept that your tax dollars may be misspent on frivolous wars that are founded on deceit?
6. Do you accept that most of your domestic media will give you watered down and biased news that is controlled by corporate and government interests rather than objective journalism?
7. Do you promise to watch bad television that includes frequent and inane advertising targeted at intellectual midgets?
8. Do you accept that women and non-caucasians are not proportionally represented in government.
9. Do you accept that much of your food will be legally pumped full of growth hormones and preservatives?
10. Do you accept that your government will spend more on foreign disaster management than domestic disaster relief?

My answer to all of these questions is NO - so it's obvious I have no desire to become a US citizen.

Answer 6

well tercent and ben 300 got all the questions that i have on mind and cheese wow what a test grat good question and great answers.

Answer 7

i personally dont believe their should be a test. how could you test them on the knowlegde of America whe most Americans would probabl fail it themselevs lol.