I have a 23 yrs. old brother who we both live with our parents. The thing is his father is my step father and I feel that my mother is spoiling him too much. This morning I had to hear awful things because I didn't prepare his lunch to go. He never helps around the house not even pay bills are just to clean after his mess or take out the trash. He doesn't do his plates either. But when ever he likes something he gets what he wants. He doesn't do his laundry, my mother does it for him. Sometimes I wonder if she knows that she's getting old and she needs to let him be adult and take responsibility. He's healthy with two arms and legs so why can't he make his lunch own lunch once in a while. I work too and pretty late so sometimes I just can't get up right away to make him lunch every morning but most of the times I do. if my mother wants to spoil him like that then she shouldn't be complaining she should do it herself.
2007-10-10 15:58:45 · 7 answers · asked by koi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
At 23, he should be out on his own, not having his family take care of his every need.
2007-10-10 16:08:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Blending families is never easy. Even worse when the kids by the step-dads are spoiled rotten. Your half brother has another thing coming when (and if) he ever gets out into the work force. At some point even his dad will tire of his freeloading.
In the meantime all you can do is subtract yourself from the equation.
Get the heck out of there and lead your own life.
Move out and share an apartment with a couple of friends.
Make yourself scarce as hens' teeth.
Don't even go over for a visit for a couple of years.
I'm serious about this.
My own parents didn't start to actually deal with our brother until all 3 of us sisters were out of the house... we removed ourselves so we couldn't be used as buffers or babysitters.
2007-10-10 23:18:40 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough situation to approach with your mother. Yes, he should be pulling his own weight in some form or another. if he wants someone to clean up after him, he should hire his own maid and cleaning service. He should at least be contributing to the bills if he is working. If he's not, then he needs to contribute to the household in other ways. It's hard not to do what your parent(s) expect, especially if you are still living in their home. The standard is "my house, my rules". Perhaps you could approach her and just tell her, as nicely as possible, that you are worried that one of the members of the family is not pulling their weight in the household, and you would like to know how to approach it. It seems like a non-confrontational way to approach it. Just tell her how you feel, and that you are worried for her sake, and feel that she deserves better. You might also try talking with your brother to see how he feels about it and maybe he even has some good ideas. Good luck.
2007-10-10 23:06:29 · answer #3 · answered by kendi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know its always a nice thing when someone packs your lunch for you, leaves you a hugs and kisses note on the napkin, and gives you a smooch on your way out the door. Its totally awesome if your under the age of 10.
Its time for your brother to grow up, and for his parents to let him grow up. Its disrespectful for them to ask you to make his lunch, hes a big boy, he can do it himself, and if not, well he's 23, unless he has a mental handicap, he should be able to buy his own lunch should no one make it for him.
Im 24 and I have a 19 year old brother, I cant picture him getting up early, when he works and goes to college to make my lunch for me, and I sure as hell cant picture one of my parents yelling at him for not doing it.
Its time that you sat down with your mom and had a talk. Tell her you are busy with your own life, work and school. You apprechiate that your brother works, goes to school, etc but you really dont think it should be part of your daily duties to clean up after your brother and pack his lunch for him. Tell her you help out around the house and do your part, but you dont see him doing his. *the key is to say this as unemotional as possible... dont accuse her or blame her for anything*
Just let her know that your bro is a big boy, and if anything he should be taking care of mom and not visa versa. You can also mention that you know she's tired and has better things to do with her time then babysit her lil boy... and its time to let him spread those wings so that when a woman enters his life, hes able to assume his duties within that relationship, cuz how many women do you know what a baby who does nothing for a husband?
If the worst comes to worst... save up and get out of their house
2007-10-10 23:12:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, why are you preparing his lunch? like you said he got arms and legs. let him do it. his not your man or anything for you to prepare lunch. I have two brothers and they dont dare ask me to prepare lunch for him, they know my answer. big fat NO! you are too nice and need to stop. you mother need to stop doing his laundry. but for mothers is hard because my mother still does my 33 yr old brother's laundry. you have to be tough. he is not your responsability and let them know that plsss!
2007-10-10 23:16:55 · answer #5 · answered by ada z 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is the youngest of the two of you, so to your mom hes the baby.the thing is that she doesnt see that shes not helping him in the long run.try to get her to see if he decides to move out how would he take care of anything if shes doing it for him
2007-10-10 23:19:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he definitely needs to help...doesnt he pay rent? He should...
2007-10-10 23:11:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋