Before me, my fiancee had an extreme connection to a guy in college that turned out to be gay. They traveled and did quite a bit together in the time they spent with one another. She wanted to marry him and he would have married her if he wasn't gay. She has stuggled the last three years over this friendsship and became sad a frustrated at him for not telling her the truth right away. She was having difficulty with after we started dating too. I caught her chatting with him on IM and she would close it before I saw and she also erased phone calls on her phone so I would not see and get upset. She will not admit there is a connection left, even though she continues to talk to him now that he lives on the other side of the country. I know I should not be jealous of a gay guy, but I am. I'm not jealous about the physical aspect, I'm more jealous about the emotional connection than anything. What do you think?
2007-10-10 13:31:37 · 14 answers · asked by KEVIN S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you should try to let the jealousy go. It's impossible for her to cheat with him and apparently he's a true friend. For her sake you should just let it go.
2007-10-10 13:35:03 · answer #1 · answered by the Boss 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I have many gay friends I love spending time with, and some I wish were straight. But, she knows he's gay and that there is obviously no way for them to be together. I think that maybe she just wants to spend time with him but she's afraid she'll make you jealous and ruin the relationship. If you have a problem with it then just confront her and where you end up is up to you; you chose whether or not it turns into a big conflict.
2007-10-10 13:40:38 · answer #2 · answered by Catherine D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey believe me , you have nothing to be jealous of...a gay guy is a girls best friend and only best friend...I would much rather take a gay guy shopping with me, because they have excellent taste and wont lie to you about what something looks like on you, the reason that she hides this from you is because she doesn't want you to feel hurt that she still has contact with him...give her a break, this guy is not a threat...and another reason that we enjoy their company...is we dont have to worry about them trying to take you away from us behind our backs...like most of our female friends will do..and they are not back stabbers. sire they have a bond, but not anything or anywhere as close as you two do
2007-10-10 13:39:49 · answer #3 · answered by curious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you shouldn't be jealous. But it's okay for you to be concerned. Ask her why she closed the IM's when you walk in, and tell her you know she erases the phone calls. If she admits she's having an affair with him, get some marriage counsellings, If their just friends, that should be fine with you. Just like it should be okay for you to have friends who are girls, she can have fiends who are guys.
2007-10-10 13:38:12 · answer #4 · answered by Amelia ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. i guess if he is gay, well it's like her best friend. so yea, expect an emotional connection that all women have with their best friend, except most women's best friends are other women, not men. also, and i mean no insult but i am stabbing in the dark here, maybe he isn't gay but she just told you that to ease up the pressure, and you won't be so suspicious of the relationship.
2007-10-10 13:36:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but the only real thing you have to worry about is him making you guy's relationship weaker than it should be.
Envy is one of the 7 deadly sins. Don't be jealous
Just think of him as a good friend of your fiancee try not to think of him as "another man"
2007-10-10 13:35:52 · answer #6 · answered by S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would be too. If she is trying to hide the relationship there is something amiss. She is acting like my ex who was cheating on me. Cheating is not just having a physical relationship with someone other than your partner. It can also be giving to someone emotionally other than your partner in my opinion because that is taking something away from you.
2007-10-10 13:38:05 · answer #7 · answered by yakisquaw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you have a right to be jealous because if she wanted to marry him and erases all their conversations then she probably still has feelings for him. at the same time you dont really have anything to worry about because he cant be interested in her physically.
2007-10-10 13:45:04 · answer #8 · answered by Will M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No reason to be jealous. If you continue with your behavior you're going to drive a wedge between you and her, let her have her gay friend. If she sees it doesn't bother you she'll like you more for understanding.
2007-10-10 13:37:08 · answer #9 · answered by cireengineering 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to be but what it comes down to is the fact that she will never be with him. I understand what you must feel but don't let it wreck your relationship if it is a good one.
focus one building a bond with her and the less you metion him the less she will think of him!
2007-10-10 13:37:59 · answer #10 · answered by openminded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋