come to the bachelorette party? She said she was available when we all agreed on a date, then all of a sudden told one of the other girls that "oops" she had a prior engagement that night....My one bridesmaid who asked her about this is furious. What do you think?
2007-10-10 13:05:36 · 14 answers · asked by BeverlyA 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The thing is she's done absolutely nothing to/for the wedding. I haven't asked her to either, and I'm fine with that. She hasn't even paid for her dress. The other girls have helped out with stuff and paid for their own dresses. When we were at the dress shop, she claimed to not have her credit card on her, and I paid. I didn't care at the time, but now I'm feeling a little pissy, and also feel bad that the other girls are helping out, ect....
2007-10-10 13:21:35 · update #1
the bridesmaid who can't come said she COULD come until just today, and the party is next weekend....just so you understand clearly.
2007-10-10 14:05:35 · update #2
I wouldn't feel bad. Its her fault, and if she really wanted to be there then she would find a way to be there. And yes, it is ok for the other bridesmaid to be upset, but make sure she keeps her cool on your wedding... it is YOUR day, and your bridesmaids shouldn't be messing it up over a little thing like someone not making it to your bachelorette party.
2007-10-10 13:14:16 · answer #1 · answered by Meg-O 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Okay not a good sign.
Today she's blowing off the bachelorette party. Come wedding day she'll call you saying "Opps" she made prior arrangements. Think about how well you know the girl. I'd say be very carefull with her and explain to her that if she's blowing off things that she cannot be a bridesmaid. Tell her she has one more chance: the rehersal dinner. If she blows that too, hon time to go shopping for a new bridesmaid. Find your second choice that could replace her and tell her you may need her and she could be a sub. But also tell that sub BM that she can sit with the wedding party, just so she'll know you like her.
Good luck!
2007-10-10 13:21:19 · answer #2 · answered by Jasmine 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would be pissed that she didn't pay for her dress, but she doesn't have to go to the bachelorette party. Your other bridesmaid needs to get over it, it's not her business. Bridesmaids don't do anything at weddings but show up at the appointed time in the appointed outfit. That's the extent of their responsibilities. If they want, they can throw a shower.
2007-10-10 13:41:50 · answer #3 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What i would do to see if she is just copping out for no reason is to invite all of your bridesmaids that day out for a girls day and pay for pedicures or facials and stuff like that before you go out for your bachelorette party. If she still cant go, you know she has a valid excuse and if she suddenly can go to your pre-party, you would know something is up and can then tell her off!
2007-10-11 04:44:19 · answer #4 · answered by boodoll33 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldnt feel bad its her not you. You have no controll over what she is doing.
For example:
this is what i did I asked my friend and my sister to be my maid of honors they both agreed and upon acepting i simply asked that they would help me with the planning etc... My sister has been great she has already planned a bridal and bachelorette party and has droped everything to go look at dresses. When we went My other maid of honor (which is now a bridesmaid) said she could go and then the day befor we left she called me up and said that she couldnt go so i said whatever and we went without her. My sister and my sister in law both went with me and they picked out the dresses and they paid for them however they had to be ordered and they said they take 6 weeks to get here and they wont order them untill all the girls are measured for (understandable) so i called my other sis in law that lives in New York and explained the situation and she said she would drive and go get measured on friday (2 days away. and she drove 2 hours) however when i called my friend she said ok i can go this sunday so we made plans, well saturday comes around and she calls me and askes if we can reschedule the dress fitting for that Tuesday because her family was in town (the same family she was going to go see next weekend) I explained to her I couldnt go on a weekday because I had home closings and contracts to take care of all next week (im a realitor and shes in collage) So she said ok well still go on sunday, so i thought everything had been taken care of, i was wrong by sunday night she text me and said that " Something came up and I really cant go tomarrow, sorry" that it she couldnt even call me and tell me. I was pritty upset and I called her and told her that she needed to sit down and think if she wanted to be in my wedding or not. She claimed that she had to write a paper and the girl that was working on it with her couldnt do it till saturday, Ya right the girl that was her partner lived down the street from me and i drove by and sure enough they were there. Come to find out latter the "thing that came up" was they went to the bar got drunk and she didnt want to get up early to drive 3 hours to go get a dress. (The only problem is the dresses wont be here untill 2 weeks befor my wedding as it is). So she called me the next morning and said she still wanted to be in it and asked if we could leave at noon. So we left at noon. Let me mind you that I had to pay for gas and food for both of us to take her up there when she couldnt go when she originally said she could, more money out of my pocket when im already buying there shoes, jewlery, hair, and makeup. So we get her measured and she then tells me she cant come to the bridal shower or the bachalorette party because those are the days her friends form collage and her go to the bar, and that she cant help decorate the night befor just reherse and thats it cuz shes going to the bar that night also, so pritty much shes going to show up with a hang over reeking of booze. So after all this she went to one of the maid of honors to the 1st bridesmaid to the 2nd bridesmaid. I know I sound awful but I want the people that mean the most standing next to me and after she did all this apparently were not very close of friends anymore.
2007-10-11 05:58:34 · answer #5 · answered by nicki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, things come up... I know you're excited about your wedding, but you need to take into consideration that your bridesmaids do have lives and sometimes things will come up. The other bridesmaid has no right to be angry, she told her ahead of time that she would be unable to go.
Also: you can't be mad at her for not helping you if you haven't ASKED for her help. Maybe she forgot about the dress, and unless you've mentioned that she still owes you, you don't have a right to be angry about it. TALK TO HER, instead of asking the question of us...I think you'll find your answers
2007-10-10 13:44:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If she's bailing on you, I'd say that's really crummy. But to be blunt, being a bridesmaid DOES cost a lot of time and money. It may not mean that she loves you any less, but could just need a momentary break.
I wouldn't change plans of your other party members just for her though.
I wouldn't worry too much about it. :)
2007-10-10 13:14:33 · answer #7 · answered by Lena S 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's not that big of a deal. It is if she is blowing it off... try to do a girls lunch the day before or of the wedding... get pedicures and manicures and hang out then. I would call her myself and see what the deal is though... tell her that you will miss her, but if she really can't come, you understand.
no worries - and congratulations!
2007-10-10 13:16:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would not be pissed about her not being able to attend the bachelorette party BUT her other actions would piss me off greatly unless there was a GOOD reason.
2007-10-11 03:54:01 · answer #9 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to pay you back for the dress, get enthusiastic and involved or tell her you don't need her in your wedding if she won't make an effort. Simple.
2007-10-10 22:44:24 · answer #10 · answered by BTB2211 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋