I have taken care of my three children by myself for almost ten years with no help from their father , who was always in jail. He has been out for two years and is doing well apparently he's still the same bastard though!! I let them stay with their dad 8 months ago , with lots of advice from professional therapists social workers etc. Now I was just served with papers and the SOB is trying to get sole custody and child support from me and he will not let me see or speak to my children!! My local police will not help me. I know I have every right to go get them so i was thinking of picking them up at school since there is no court paperwork stating that i can not have my children. This is the worst feeling. Any advice is welcome.
2007-10-10 12:48:07 · 16 answers · asked by J-T 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
get a lawyer and leave the kids be until the courts decide. they dont need mom and dad to play tug of war with them. if neither of you has court ordered custody, it ISNT illegal for him to take them, just as you could take them anywhere you wanted. just think of them not want you want. hopefully you will be with them in the end
2007-10-10 14:23:12 · answer #1 · answered by Olivia's Mama 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont go and take them, not from the school like that, it can be used against you in court. Contact family services, at the family court and talk with a social worker. Get a temporary grant for emergency custody.
This will grant you complete and full custody until a judge has a chance to review the case and set up something to last until the court hearing.
Get a good lawyer, and fight it out in court. Its horrible for him to do that, but he's playing a full hand here, and you dont want to do ANYTHING that could be used against you. Stay in the right, and do it by the book. He's not going to harm the children, or if thats your fear, voice it when you file for emergency custody. And then spend every day chasing around the court for what you want and need.
2007-10-10 12:55:57 · answer #2 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I just went through this, last year. She took my kids from me and I did go get them from school. They cannot stop you from doing so with out a court order. Most they can do is call the other parent to let them know. I ended up with custody of the kids because she is a drug addict. The police will not help. they will tell you unless there is a court order they cannot do anything. Sorry but sounds like he has no leg to stand on if he has been a jailbird.
2007-10-10 14:38:56 · answer #3 · answered by Bones 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since there's no court papers, You & your husband both have the right to have the children in your care. Go to a lawyer & get some type of custody set up right away. Don't make this a chaotic situation for the kids, you taking off w/ them one day, then their dad the next week, is a lot of hussle & bussle. It's unstable for the kids. Call your husband & ask to work something out where you both can have your share of the children & be satisfied. Remember what you do to him will be done back to you. Do you want him snatching your kids form school unexpectedly one day & taking off with them? Being his record, you will probably get custody, but you need to take action & get a lawyer now, before the kids are overwhelmed with this situation & it starts to effect their acedemic & personal life.
2007-10-10 12:54:26 · answer #4 · answered by tanner 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what the laws are in your particular state. I am in Georgia and here, basically, in the absence of a court order, temp "custody" is with the parent who has physical possession of the child(ren). I am going to assume your states laws must be similar seeing as your police refuse to get involved.
My advice to you would be to hire a lawyer and file an exparte (an emergency order which generally will get you in front of a judge within days of filing) for temp custody pending the court proceedings your ex has filed. I see no reason why a judge would not order the children to be returned to your physical custod seeing as you have been their primary caregiver for so many years due to your ex's imprisonment.
Although I know it is tempting, and under your circumstances, not illegal, I would not suggest taking the children from school as you suggested. I would follow the law and make sure everything is done legit and through a court. I have been in a similar situation with my ex and it was very tempting to snatch the children behind my ex back. However, you risk showing irrepsponcibility to any judge who may hear or case later.
I wish you the very best of luck.
2007-10-10 12:57:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
While you may be well within your legal rights, do you really think that going to pick the kids up at school is the best move *for the kids*. How frightening that would be. How crushed they must feel inside, knowing that their parents are playing games with them, expecting them to choose a side. Even if you're not asking them to do that outright, that's what they're feeling when you do things like go behind the other parent's back, working outside of the law or civil agreements, acting all 'Jerry Springer' with their childhoods, their lives.
Talk to a lawyer. Behave in a civilized manner. Speak softly & calmly. Let your kids and your ex know what your plans are. Treat their father with respect as their father, as an important person in their lives.
2007-10-10 13:10:20 · answer #6 · answered by Maureen 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
this is what I would do if nothing is in place and your children are school age, just go to the school and pick them up. Explain to them that they are coming to live with you. Get a good lawyer and get some type of custody and visitation thing down befreo this guy takes off with your kids for good.
2007-10-10 13:39:35 · answer #7 · answered by his wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its sad but true. if noone has custody, he is able to keep the kids from you. you just have to prove in court that you are the best thing for your children and try to prove that he is an unfit father. if theres nothing to prove, you might get shared custody. but def get a lawyer. and because he already filed for custody, you are not allowed to pick the kids up and keep them from him. when i filed for my son, they told me that if his father took him and would not give him back, then he would be arrested for kidnapping even though its his kid. whoever files for custody has temp custody until the hearing. so dont screw yourself by wanting to see your kids. i know it hurts, you just need to dig deep and figure out any dirt on him and bring it all up in court. thats the best advice i can give on that. sorry i dont have more. good luck!
2007-10-10 16:46:11 · answer #8 · answered by ProudMommy_1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU need a Family Lawyer LIKE NOW. Go to Legal Aid if you cannot afford a lawyer, they will get you a pro bono lawyer. You need to explain all this what you wrote to us to the Lawyer. I can understand if he wants joint custody, but FULL custody after 10 years and in prison for 8 of those years. My ex tried to gain joint custody of our child and the judge didn't grant it to him because of his prison history of violence and assaults and drug offenses. Get a restraining order as well. You need to start doing this A.S.A.P.. I know from experience, I was dragged into court for 6 months, my ex 'wanted' so 'bad' to be in our son's life, yet more than half the time he didn't show up, nor did his paperwork for child support, the judge was fed up and granted me full custody and guardianship. Attend EVERY court date that the judge sets. Go to Everyone of them. Get a Family Lawyer tomorrow. Get temporary custody of your children, before the court date sets, see the lawyer and go through with all this.
2007-10-10 13:14:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
If he has no court ordered custody, go for it and get a lawyer. Unless you have something horrible in your past he can use against you, he has little or no chance of winning custody.
2007-10-10 12:51:52 · answer #10 · answered by bulruq 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋