Does a parent have the right to take the items that their child bought for punishment?

Question

My friend and I are discussing this. I'm nineteen and he's 17 and works as an apprentice mechanic, so all his things (video games, cell phone which he pays the bill on, lap top, mp3 player) he's bought for himself.

He got a bad grade in his mother's eyes (C in math) and took those items he bought. Does she have the right to do it? I don't think so. What do you think?

I guess I should add in that he pays half the rent and the water and light bills.

That was some info I should have added in.

Answer 1

Although she has the legal RIGHT to take his things away, I personally don't think that she SHOULD.

My brother-in-law is 19, still living at home, no job, dropped out of school, his parents know he smokes pot, and yet they still supply him with a truck to use and gas money to put in it - and he doesn't have a license.

I think your friend is terrific for showing so much responsibility at such a young age. His parents should choose some other form of punishment for his low grade, rather than taking away the things that he earned with his own money from his own job.

Answer 2

Yes, unfortunately she can take his things, being that she's the parent and he's a minor. The fact that he bought them isn't a factor.

On the other hand, taking his possessions as punishment for a bad grade is lousy discipline and bad parenting. Will it improve his grades? Doubtful. Will it cause resentment on his part? Absolutely. He might even decide to punish his mother by getting worse grades in retaliation.

She can get better results by talking to him, finding out if he's having trouble at school, regulating video game time or other activities that might be in the way of studying, maybe even rewarding him for good grades. After all, the punishment should be related in some way to the behavior, not just the random act of confiscating possessions.

Answer 3

In a way yes, In a way no. Perhaps he should wait until he graduates to become an apprentice Mechanic for one. Unless he dropped out of school and taking his GED right now. I hope he gets a diploma either way. I used to get C's in math as well. It wasn't my strongest subject in school. I didn't get in trouble for getting C's. If I got a D, my parents would be more concerned. Maybe he should work less hours, I know you need certain amount of hours to become a mechanic per every 4 years of this course. You go to school some then you work on the site some. I think maybe he should cut down some hours of work and perhaps study on his math a bit more?

I don't think it is totally right that his mom took away his stuff, that he paid for. If she paid for it, then I would understand it better. As long as he is under her roof, he has to abide by her rules. If she takes it away until his grades improve then that is a reward, that he gets his things back. Afterall they are only materialistic possessions. Tough love is sometimes needed in life. If he can support himself and move out on his own, then he should do it. He should get Emancipated if he can live on his own in whatever state you live in. Some states don't allow that.

Well he pays half for Rent, bills and lights? That is good you are teaching him the responsibility as a parent, that he will be a good man one day to take care of his own. If he isn't doing well in school, see what areas need to be improved on. See if you can help him, Give him some of his stuff back when his grades start to improve. Not everyone gets straight A's. Be more realistic of what he can handle and do his best in. He goes to school and he has a job, and he is paying half of rent, bills and lights. He is well on his way...for a 17 year old that is quite mature.

Answer 4

Absolutely. If he can afford to move out of the house on his own entirely, then she would not have a right to do so. As it is, he is still a dependant (I'm sure she deducts him on her tax form!) upon his parent(s). If he wants all the privileges of adulthood, he must take the full responsibility for it from the house, transportation, etc. Obviously he is able to physically do work. Part of becoming a mature adult by the way and a responsible law abiding citizen is realizing that there are consequences for bad or irresponsible behavior. He will thank her for it one day if he has any good sense at all and grow in character as he learns from this.
By the way, how is it any of your business to judge the lady? Sounds as if you are trying to justify your friend and villainize the parent and encourage rebellion. It could be, if it is like you say, that if he can't handle both good grades and the job, maybe he should refocus his priorities and his mother is wise enough to realize that his grades affect his future far more than being without a few luxury items for a short time. If she's a good mother at all, she is thinking about his future being successful. In that case, good for her. It's not like she stold them. I'm thinking how old are you and your friend that are discussing this?? Please don't tell me this is the mind-set of your generation as a whole??? Maybe when you are adults or parents you will see things differently. We usually do.

Answer 5

Well first off I personally think that a 17 year old is too old to have "things" taken away as punishment. I do not agree on any form of punishment for grades at the age of 17.
At 17 you are pretty much going to make your own decisions and the consequences and outcome are theirs to deal with. If the 17 year old is OK with a C then the parents should be OK with the C. I try not to beat my kids up with "I am disappointed" etc....I let them know that they may be disappointed with themselves but, it is now up to them to make the right choices/decisions and move ahead and learn from their mistakes.

Answer 6

Yes, he's under age and a child in their house and under their supervision.

They have every right. A child is NOT allowed to enter into a binding contract, that includes final sales. In essense all things bought by a child depend on the parents approval, and revert to the parent. Those sales can even be reversed at any time souly because the child was underage.

So just because he bought it with his money doesnt mean he owns it by contract of sale. At the most it becomes part of the household of his parents.

A little basic law to help ya out.

As for you, being 19, your things are your things, in mom and dads house or not.

Answer 7

well it doesnt make sense for a mother to take away the very thing HE bought for himself with his OWN money. How is that teaching him? btw he is 17 and doesnt need punishment for a C grade for heaven sake. He sounds like a level headed guy.

Answer 8

I don't think that parents have the right to take things away that their kids bought with their own money. Yeah, it's the parent's house but that doesn't mean they can just take things that they didn't even pay for.

Answer 9

Yes. If he still lives in his parents house than they/she should have the right to confiscate whatever they like and return it when deemed appropriate. You two are both young and view life a little differently than a parent. When you are a parent of a 17 year old you will definately understand then why it is okay... You don't have to agree with me now (I understand) but upon reflection of this when you are older.... remember what I said above.

Answer 10

yes she does. I think it is silly to punish for bad grades, especially for a 17 year old, you sit them and talk to them ad find out what the heck is going on. However, when being punished for something else yes even if the kid paid for the item. Punishment is consequences for doing something wrong.