My mother in law who lives all the way across the world, and who has medical problems is coming for 2 to 3 months to stay with my husband and I when I give birth. The plane flight is 27 hours away. It is only right that she stays for a while, and she will help me and all that.
I just was worried that I will get totally tired of her and get all crazy feeling, or will I be so tired, that I will welcome any assitance.
My husband has asked me to try to understand that she is the only one that can come over here, because it is so expensive ($3000 to fly) and I should relax.
How do I not become selfish and learn how to deal with my mother in law living with us for 2 to 3 months.
BTW...she is a very caring woman and I like her...thank God.
I'm just worried, I won't have any alone time with my baby while i have the opportunity to be home with maternity leave.
2007-10-10 11:40:38 · 6 answers · asked by BlueBlue 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
First, enter this situation with a positive attitude. You are lucky to have family coming to help, and it sounds like she wont be able to visit you often, so relish in the time you have.
Second, you are going to be tired & healing and it will be great for you to have that extra assistance. She will probably be cooking and cleaning for you, loving your baby while you do simple things like taking a shower.
I would suggest talking with your husband about pre-set boundaries so he can gently convey issues to your MIL.
Make sure you are on the same page and working as a team.
Lastly, see what you can gain from spending time with your husband's mom, does she make a special dish that he loves? Ask to make it together so you can learn the family recipes.
Since you are going to have the helping hand and need personal space, maybe ask for 1 hour a day alone/out-of-the-house time. You could go to a library, on a walk, etc.
Though I completely understand your concerns, you will be fine! Only after I became a Mother did I trully understand how amazing a grandparents love can be. Embrace this oppurtunity! Good luck.
2007-10-10 11:54:48 · answer #1 · answered by tobelove75 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's really normal to worry about this. But you WILL want some rest, and you will need it. But you will also want that alone time with you and your baby. Your body needs time to heal.
With my first pregnancy everybody told me that if someone offered to help me within the first few weeks or so, to let them because I'll need it and all the rest I can get. I was like oh yeah right. But I had complications with that pregnancy, and afterwards....I was just very very drained and was very thankful for the help and support I received through that time. I was completely exhausted and couldn't have taken care of a baby the way I'd needed to, with the way I was feeling.
With my son the day after we came home, I was up and cleaning, doing laundry, probably over-doing it, but I felt great.
I guess just enjoy your time, even if your MIL is right there with you. Enjoy your time with your baby and don't feel guilty for needing any rest. Childbirth takes a huge toll on women. Good luck!
2007-10-10 13:23:20 · answer #2 · answered by Megan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What makes you think you won't have alone time? My mom stayed with me after I gave birth, but when I was up to doing things for the baby myself, she was more than happy to step back. Good moms and moms-in-law will help teach you, not take over for you. Don't be afraid to give her a break by sending her to a movie or something. I doubt she would mind. She'll probably be getting stressed a bit too.
2007-10-10 11:52:16 · answer #3 · answered by RobsKitiKat 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have her run your erronds for you. If you need something from the store, give her a list & $ or a blank check; if you have bills to pay that you can pay in your town, don't mail them, send her to pay them. If you plan to breast feed, when it's time for the baby to eat, just go off into yours or the baby's room, shut the door, & spend time in their feeding & rocking or whatever with your baby to have some space.
Just remember that she is going to want to hold & spend lots of time with the baby - everybody loves babies. So try to let her have time w/ the baby as well. Maybe every once in awhile you & your husband could go out for a few hrs & let her have alone time with the baby. Then maybe she'll respect you're alone time & won't be "in your face" since she had time with the baby.
Is there other family around that she knows that she could visit with?
2007-10-10 11:51:31 · answer #4 · answered by tanner 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Set the boundaries in the beginning, and you should have no problems. Honesty is still best. She was a new mom too at some point, right?
2007-10-10 12:35:12 · answer #5 · answered by rachel t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she is coming to soon, but just think 3mnths will be over before you know it.
2007-10-10 13:04:44 · answer #6 · answered by ms attitude 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋