She is 28 and I am 36. She has two kids, g8 and b2 both sweethearts and seem to be taking to me. We both want the same things out of life and our relationship from what we have talked about and I am falling very much in love with her and her children.
She says she is very much in love with me but something happened last friday now I am having serious doubts. She stayed over last friday and we had a few drinks and she went to bed before I did. I was watching tv and her cell phone kept ringing, this was about 1:30am so I looked in case it was an emergency(parents, family etc) when I saw she had 8 messages. I saw texts from a guy she had not told me about saying he loved her, missed her etc. They were older texts during the time weve been dating, last one on 9-19-07. She just cleaned up her texts the few days before this so she kept them. I asked her about this the next morning and she said it was an ex. I believe her & feel bad & down about the whole thing I know I was wrong in looking.
2007-10-10 11:21:26 · 23 answers · asked by dantrag 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think that it is pretty natural to be curious/protective about your "investment" ... because if we're all honest, all relationships are investments in many different ways. I would just tell her how you feel. It sounds like you really do love her and her kids, and I think the best thing for you is to be straight-forward and tell her how you feel. Explain to her that you have ex-girlfriends too, and that you don't stay in contact with any of them. And just try to maybe understand her position on the matter. If the guy just won't leave her alone, then bring up the fact that she can change her #.
2007-10-10 11:26:56 · answer #1 · answered by Taylor - 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh troop, that's a hard one! It's not a nice feeling when u find stuff like that! I wouldn't bring it up again, as she said it's an ex I think just go with it. But I would put your guard up for a while n protect yourself. I know this is a really horrible thing to say, but she could be doing the dirty on you. But, she might not be. So just take it steady, and I think it's one of those things where time will reveal itself. Good luck luv n I hope things all work out ok xx
2007-10-10 11:29:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can look to believe her or you can decide to totally not trust her...which would probably ruin your relationship.
What I suggest you to do is not to pressure the answer of who this person is out of her but more to just tell her you love her everyday.
If this sort of thing keeps happening, like she is mysteriously away at different hours of the day, then I would start to worry. But you never know, it could be some kind of ex that is obsessed with her and they won't leave her alone.
Keeping the texts is odd, but maybe its because its nice for to hear it once in a while and you don't say it enough (not saying that you don't but) so tell her you love her alot and little things like what you love about her.
Hope that helps. =]
2007-10-10 11:28:02 · answer #3 · answered by musicofthesun7 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be cautious if I were you. Why would her ex-boyfriend be texting her or calling her at that time of the night? Sounds suspicious to me.
You need to ask her why he would be calling or texting her at that time of the night. Also, ask her why he is even talking to her that much anyways. If this bothers you so much, tell her that you dont like this guy doing this so much and at that time of the night. There is no reason to close off all communication with an ex, but it needs to slow down when that person has a new relationship!
2007-10-10 11:28:13 · answer #4 · answered by Mike G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't panic until you get a straight answer about the ex. If he's still a factor, I'd ask for distance. If she says he's not, ask why she is keeping contact like that with him.
Is that the same guy who gave her those children? If not, that's a pretty good warning signal. If it is, you still have a pretty good chance at love.
If the two kids are from two different men, I wouldn't buy her saying anything about love after three months.
2007-10-10 11:27:00 · answer #5 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be upset too if I found texts from someone else. My exes have texted me after we broke up in the past-BUT-once I completely ignored them there was no more contact. If you really like this woman I would sit her down and explain how you feel. If she kept the old texts from an ex she probably still has feelings for them. Just proceed with caution to protect your own heart.
2007-10-10 11:28:02 · answer #6 · answered by Pssssh Whatever 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would get out of this relationship. She may say that she loves you but what is going on with these text messages and why did she keep them that long? It doesn't matter if it is her ex. She has you now and it should only be you! She needs to tell him to stop if she really is in love with you.
2007-10-10 11:29:59 · answer #7 · answered by kellie1031 age 50 and divorced 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think sometimes people just do know. I knew within a couple of months that I wanted to spend my life with my spouse. BUT, I was 38 (he was 42) when I met him so we both had been around the block a couple of times. AND, though we both felt we were right for each other early on, we still dated for 18 months before becoming engaged and got married six months later. So, I would suggest that yes, she may be the one, but please wait at least two years before actually marrying her. That puts you both out of school and at just about the right ages for it to statistically last. Good Luck!
2016-05-21 01:13:54 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it could be her ex or her ex that she is still hanging around with. you should take some time and see how this goes before you jump in. Speak to her about how you feel and tell her you want to take the relationship to the next level(if you are ready) also mention you would like her to tell her ex about your plans and ask him to leave the two of you alone.
she is certainly carrying on this little phone relationship with, maybe even giving him hope of reuniting in the future.
2007-10-10 11:31:05 · answer #9 · answered by laurabird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think over and over again. if she's in love with you, though she has kids, there should be no one involved in your relationship. follow your instincts but don't jump yet to conclusion unless you get to know the real story behind that guy in her cellphone. talk to her about the situation if you fell that she's telling the truth, then there's nothing to worry. if you feel she's hiding something from you then it's your choice either to stay with her and just be blind of the situation or get out of the situation before it might cause you any more pain.
2007-10-10 11:53:16 · answer #10 · answered by vallie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋