Push wedding day since dad is sick?

Question

My dad just found out he's having liver failure .. pretty bad.

My boyfriend and i are not even engaged yet. Of course growing up i've dreamed about this nothing, nothing to big, but my dad HAS to walk me downt he isle. I wouldn't dream of a wedding any different.

We've been wanting to get married but he hasn't asked yet .. we talk about it all of the time .. but he's been wanting to get me the perfect ring ...

ANYWAYS .. would it be silly to rush it along with the news my dad is really ill?

I really want to .. what do you think?

Sorry for the spelling. I'm a tad upset and i didn't bother spell checking.

Oh, he's plenty ready .. he just doesn't have all of the money saved up for the ring i wanted .. but that doesn't matter. I would rather have a smaller ring then not go ahead with the wedding and chance my dad passing away. My boyfriend is completely fine with getting married whenever. Trust me.

1. My father LOVES my boyfriend. 2. Yes, it's terminal. He's having liver failure, bad. 3. STOP saying my boyfriend isn't ready, haha. HE IS .. but it was ME who picked out the ring .. it's all me .. once i tell him "screw that ring, get me whatever now" .. he'll propose.

I'VE ALREADY TOLD ME DAD I WANT TO DONATE A KIDNEY, BEFORE I knew IT WAS HIS LIVER .. THEN HE SAYS "I'TS MY LIVER, THERES NOWAY TO DONATE, I JUST HAVE TO WAIT" .. SO HOW DARE YOU JUDGE ME. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.

I guess to get the right answer everyone wants to know my life story and our life story. Listen, we've been together for over 4 years .. we've been living together for 4 years also. This isn't your average relationship. I just can't explain it to people over the internet. You wouldn't believe our bond. We're seriously born to be together. Our families love each other .. it's not your everyday relationship, situation. We do have enough money .. sure we're still renting .. but thats the way we work. We move all of the time. We plan on moving to Nevada next year if everything goes right. We like to travel. We planned on having kids soon also .. but no, we're not those people who have $2000 sitting in the bank for a wedding ring. So what, not everyone lives their life like that. You people make marriage out to be so huge, lol. I guess you can call me a peaceful hippy. Take care.

THANK YOU! YES, all thats holding us back is a wedding ring .. and to be honest i could care less about it. I care about my dad .. my dad wants to see me get married, badly.

Answer 1

If you want to move it forward then do it.. Screw the judgemental people who have no clue what you are going through or what you have already been through. If you were planning on getting married anyway then just move it up and enjoy it... And spend as much time with your dad as you can... I am sure you already know that but I felt the need to say it anyway.. I am soooo sorry for what you are going through.

Answer 2

Hi. I am sorry for all the stress you must be under with your father right now.

I really believe that you already know the answer to your question! YES, YES, YES, most definitely push up your wedding date! That's no big deal....people do it all the time. There was another question on here earlier from a girl helping her sister, who has pushed up her wedding to THIS SATURDAY due to the fact that her boyfriend is being deployed sooner than he thought. She only has 5 days to plan it!

You can put together a VERY NICE wedding in a little bit of time - a few weeks to a month (max) is all you really need.

The BEST (and I seriously mean this) wedding that I ever attended was put together in 2 weeks! Actually, now that I think about it, I went to 2 weddings put together in 2 weeks and they were absolutely BEAUTIFUL ~ both of them!

~ Buy a gown off the rack - all bridal stores sell gowns off the rack. Same for your bridesmaid and a flower girl if you want one.
~ Go rent a tux for your groom and your dad.
~ Do you want something at a church? Talk to your minister/priest....I'm sure they will understand why you need to hurry it up.
~ Book the church and the organist
~ Book a venue for a reception - at your home? An aunt's house? A friend's home? A restaurant private room? A small inn or bed and breakfast? Lots of options. If you are having it at a church, you can always have your reception in the church fellowship hall, if one is available.
~ Get a catering company to come in with food.
~ Order a cake.
~ Go to a florist and get a bouquets, boutonierres, corsages for moms, etc.
~ Go and buy matching wedding bands from a local retailer, JCPenney, Kohls, etc. All stores have nice wedding bands.
~ Don't worry about invitations unless you are putting it off for a few months. If so, then you have time....if not, simply call everyone that you want to invite!

~ Go and buy an AISLE RUNNER (from Michael's, Walmart, etc.) for that special walk down the aisle with your father. If you are having a flower girl, she can go before you sprinkling petals!

~ Viola!!! Your done! Enjoy and best of luck to you!!

Answer 3

This is a sticky situation.

As much as I understand you want this for your father, if you to aren't ready financially (and I do believe you aren't and this isn't just the size of the ring issue), then it will kick you in the butt later.

It's like, you get married. Yet, a few months down the road you realize you just weren't ready (financially) it could have a HUGE strain on your new marriage. Plus, if your father is sick at the same time, it could be even more tension and hard times. It might just end up dragging you apart, divorcing and causing you more unnneeded stress.

If your father situation is as bad as you say, I'm assuming he is aware that he might not be around for much longer. Have you tried talking to him about this. Perhaps, he wants you to have the wedding sooner. But, then again, he might want you to wait until YOU feel ready and not rush things (or your future with your hubby) along for the sake of him. Parent's are often self-less like that.

As for the comment above me. What an idoit. Even if it was his kidney, who says you were a good match anyway. People should just answer the question and mind their own uneducated business.

Answer 4

I know this is a terribly upsetting time for you which is full of turmoil. My best advice is to do nothing right now. Marriage is difficult even when people have money and when you wrote you do not have 2000 dollars in the bank, it seems that you will be facing very tough odds. You said you chose a ring and now you would like to be deciding to rush into the wedding. I think it would be better to do nothing now and focus all your time on your father who will not need the stress of wedding details. It may all be too much for him. I think within a month or so, it will be obvious what you should do but its not fair to your boyfried to push him into such a monumental step as marriage. Your father will be with you whether he walks you down the aisle or not .
So in answer, YES IT WOULD BE SILLY TO RUSH IT regardless of how much you want to

Answer 5

I think you should talk this over with your boyfriend. If all that's stopping you is the ring, and it's much more important to you to have your father there with you on your wedding day, then I share your attitude of "screw the ring, let's get married so my dad can be there." If you're both in agreement, then go ahead! I'm sure your family will appreciate it, since it will give everyone something happy to look forward to during this sad time. God bless you, your boyfriend, and especially your father now. Good luck!

Answer 6

I know a couple where this exact thing happened, but it was the bride's mom, and it was breast cancer. They rushed the wedding, the groom was to this day not the kind of guy who should ever get married, he's a party guy, real immature.

They put the wedding day on fast-forward so her mom could see her get married. The poor woman was wheeled into the church in a wheelchair and looked so bad. She couldn't attend the reception at all. The maid of honor cried during the toast to her sister the bride.

The bride's mom died the next week and the couple had to come back early from their honeymoon. They stayed married about 3 years, and are still separated and it's 6 years later. They can't agree on a financial settlement.

The groom moved back in with his parents.

Answer 7

regardless of your dad being ill you cant push your boyfriend to propose. He will do it when he is ready and I am sure your father would be happy knowing that you became engaged for each other not because of him. All you can do is hope for the best.

Edit: If it is just a matter of a ring then tell your boyfriend you dont care about the ring and move forward with the plans. It seems you and him ar ethe only ones that can answer this question. I know how important it is to have your father, mine passed so i wont be able to have walk me down. Good luck and congrats on your future engagement.

Answer 8

If it means that much to you then push it. Having your father walk you down the aisle is one of the things that girls look forward to at their wedding. you dont even have to buy an engagement ring. just buy plain bands for the ceremony and get nicer rings a year or so down the road. If your father is in liver failure, you probably dont have a lot of time to plan an extravagant wedding either. Just plan something casual. Good luck hun, I hope everything works out for you!

Answer 9

Please accept my sympathy for your father's illness.

I ABSOLUTELY think you should speed up the wedding. You can always get a new ring some other time if you really want it, but once your dad is gone, he's gone. You will never be able to do it over.

Your father is infinitely more important than a silly ring. Have your boyfriend get something cheaper, and you guys can put the difference in money towards something else - a vacation, furniture, home downpayment, whatever.

Good luck.

Answer 10

Please do not rush to be married. My cousin did this and within 6 months they were divorced because she was more concerned with the wedding than the actual marriage. A wedding is one day and a marriage is a lifetime. Sometimes life doesn't go as we want it to be and you need to learn to roll with the punches. If your boyfriend wants to wait until you guys have more money, then wait. You are starting a life with him and you want to make sure you are fully prepared. Are you asking each other the tough questions? Are you making enough money? Do you plan to have children? All these things and more needs to be discussed before marriage.

And by the way, my uncle is still alive and well.