How do I validate my boyfriend after getting paid more money than him?

Question

My boyfriend, soon to be fiancee, is a wonderful man and he has some old fashioned ideas. Not that they are a bad thing and not that he has said anything, but I know it's bugging him subconsciously that I just got a new job making more money than him. The thing is he really wants to think of himself as my provider/protecter and all that jazz, it is great and wonderful and romantic, but I feel like I have slightly invalidated him. I want to do something or write him something that will let him know that he stil is my knight in shining armor. Keep in mind he hasn't said anything negative or anything about it. I told him once I started making money I could start taking him out to dinner and he just got kind of quiet and then said that he still wanted to kind of be my provider.

Answer 1

Be careful, those old fashian ideals had a place back in well old fashian times. But now that type of thinking is going to be sort of destructive towards the relationship. Simply because the relationship isn't design that way, your male/female roles are not design that way anymore. Its noble for him to have it, but even in my generation I've seen its destrutive force. Be honest with him, ask him about it, and help him thru this. He needs to see with in this relationship pride isn't going to help ether of you. That in the end no matter how much money he makes he can never out do the love he gives you as the most important thing..... something sweet like that, its the truth, thats what makes it romantic ;-) but talking about how values have changed and having a realistic ideal of what to do, and what to believe can help you guys also relate more who you are! Increasing the intimacy of the relationship, be tackful, be patient, and be compassionate....