My ex broke up with me 3 months ago and she started dating someone really soon afterward. Twice last week we talked and she told me she misses me and that the new guy isnt what she wants and that she fights with him all the time and treats him like s**t. She even said she doesnt even care about their relationship. I asked her why was she even with him and she said she doesn't like to be alone and she told me that more than once. What is wrong with her and why would she want to be with a guy just because she's lonely, she doesnt even like him!?!
2007-10-10 06:07:37 · 31 answers · asked by zarro 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
As a girl, I know, I've witnessed my friends go through this. Including my newly mothered sister. They are afraid of being alone, meaning they are not mentally strong enough to know how to function of their own. They have been codependent so long, they think they cant be alone. She is one saying all that to you to get u to want her back, and she is still with him because she wants all the attention on her. That is why she is saying things to u, but still with him. She is very attention hungry. She cant stand if someone isn't thinking about her. My best idea would be to just forget she said it. Letting her know u care enough to think about it lets her know she did what she was trying to do, and she won... builds her up to do it again...
2007-10-10 06:13:32 · answer #1 · answered by Kay-Cody 0918 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is asking you to forgive her and give it another shot.
BUT......I also think that she is looking for a soft place to land for when she leaves this other guy. She's setting you up to be her next boyfriend so she doesn't have to have any gaps in between.
Run in the opposite direction. If she truly wants you back, she should end her current relationship and be alone for a while to gather her thoughts about what went wrong. Then after that, if you guys want to date, I say go ahead.
Otherwise, you will find yourself right back where you started with her and your chances of making it work this time are less than 0%.
Sorry, I hope you don't love her anymore.....
2007-10-10 06:12:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She was looking for something that she thought that she didnt have with you but now that she is with someone else she realizes that until she can please herself she will fail all relationships. She is also one of those girls who cant be alone and feel worthless with out a guy, so when she broke up with you she went to the next available john and hopped on the bus to keep traveling to her destination
Her problem is she cant survive without male companionship and she doesnt know what she want in a relationship yet, and since she is unhappy with her new one she is trying to go bak to what is familiar
2007-10-10 06:13:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex needs help - she's onviously suffering from very low self-esteem; maybe the fact you treated her with respect is what made her end things with you. It's possible she's been abused either as a child or through other relationships. People who've suffered like this, often don't feel "worthy" of true love and respect, they've been negatively programmed into feeling more comfortable with those who treat them disrespectfully. The sad thing is, she's unlikely to be consciously unaware of this, but instead is feeling lost and wondering why she keeps falling into the same patterns.
Advise her to see her GP & ask for counselling. She's very lucky to have a good friend like yourself around. All you can do is offer her support through the counselling - as she gets in-touch with her true feelings, it's possible she'll rediscover her feelings for you.
2007-10-10 06:16:57 · answer #4 · answered by K B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has control issues. Is she pretty? It seems she must be pretty or make lots of money, or something to get this other guy to put up with her crap.
If I were you I'd just stay away from her, until she gets herself a friend or a psychologist...
Did she do the same things to you? You say she broke up with you.... Was it because she could not get away with treating you like she is treating the new guy?
This woman needs some help.
2007-10-10 06:11:03 · answer #5 · answered by Kathryn P 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This girl needs some serious help. Clinginess is a symptom of poor self-esteem and the insecurity that goes with it.
Anyone needs to mature to the point whwere they enjoy their own company and function as an independent adult.
Jumping from one relationship to another prevents emotional progress, and she will likely continue in the same pattern if she doesn't get psychological help.
In the meantime, look up "Borderline Personality Disorder"; I'm sure you will find it enlightening.
2007-10-10 06:14:32 · answer #6 · answered by holey moley 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like you are trapped my friend. You two have gotten so used to each other, that it is going to take an even worse fight to break free from each other.
Your relationship has produced it's own gravity that brings both of you back to something that, for reasons you are most likely ignoring, in the end benefits neither of you.
Do you have any idea how long life is? (28,000 days is the average) If you are young, (as you certainly sound like you are) work on making yourself as independent as possible, so you'll never have to be dragged down by a woman and her self serving hormone-based emotions. Don't be that guy!
2007-10-10 06:17:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
She told you, she doesn't like to be alone and that is why she is chatting with you after she broke up with you. She is lonely and is now using you to keep from being alone. You are lucky she broke up with you, move on and stop talking with her or she will mess you up, using you each time she finds herself unhappy or alone. Just like she is with this other guy that she doesn't like, she is a user of people. GET FAR AWAY from HER.
2007-10-10 06:11:29 · answer #8 · answered by howie r 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She told you outright: She doesn't like life alone....and there's red flags of insecurities waving high and proud there, too: NOT someone I'd want in my life, for such people tend to complicate matters.
Think about it: She broke up w/ you, sonic boomed fast on the rebound w/ some guy she didn't bother knowing. And now---BEHIND HIS BACK---tries to reconcile with you.
What's to say she won't do THAT to you, when the reconciliation goes not as well for her as she liked???? Not only is this girl clingy and insecure---she's not ready for a commitment to only one guy.
Pondering on her problems wastes your time; you can't help her.
2007-10-10 06:14:21 · answer #9 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She broke up with you because she thought there was better out there for her. Now she found out that you were better than her new choice. Stay away from her. She will always be looking for something better. If you were to take her back this will keep happening over and over again. Don't even talk to her.
2007-10-10 06:12:19 · answer #10 · answered by throw_strikes2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋