Ok so i have a 3.5yr old who has a fetish for dumping stuff out. I mean anything from shower gel to milk. Its like the second i'm taking a break or having to use the bathroom he is dumping something out. I have no help here at home because my oldest son is at school all day and the hubby works. I think he does it to lash out at daddy cause daddy is never home, daddy works 14hr days then comes home and sleeps and is gone before my 3yr old wakes up. I have tried over and over again the dumping this stuff out causes a big mess and its not nice and he shouldn't do it. Then to top it all off he dumped my hand lotion into his brothers playstation2 and i have no idea how to tell him. I need a remedy for this situation because i can't take it anymore. Sometimes when he goes pee in the bathroom he'll tell me he is going poop when really he is dumping out another bottle of shampoo.
2007-10-10 05:20:19 · 17 answers · asked by Wishmaster 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
and the more i tell him its wrong the more he does it, it seems which is why i think he is doing it to lash out rather than out of curiosity, and for all those who are thinking it yes i keep all this stuff as far out of his reach as i can but sometimes he can still reach stuff.
2007-10-10 05:25:34 · update #1
if i lock stuff up how do i teach him that we are locking up soap which is for the body or do i just go to bar soap?
2007-10-10 05:29:59 · update #2
we have put him in timeouts for 4 minutes or we take a really nice train away but it never lasts cause daddy always tells him "accidents happen its okay" so he walks around saying that.
2007-10-10 05:50:38 · update #3
I am so sorry.... But I am going through the same thing, my son is also 3 1/2. And he does this all day everyday. Just earlier he dumped a whole bottle of lysol kitchen cleaner on my hardwood floors, which is not uncommon. he also does the shampoo and body wash, plus he flushes anything he can down the toilet and well, as expected it backs up. When he isn't doing that he is coloring all over everything. I cannot seem to get anything done. I have a 5 yr old in school and a 6 month old also. I am home all day until my husnad arrives home at 4 and then I go to work as soon as he gets home, he does this with him also. I feel like I am going to go crazy. I cannot take my eyes off of him. So obviously I do not have remedy for this, I have tried countless ways to stop this behavior w/ no success. But I can atleast let you know that you are not alone. Best of luck to you.
2007-10-10 05:31:29 · answer #1 · answered by peyton31602 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that must be really frustrating. The next time he does it, go with him into the bathroom, or somewhere convenient for dumping, and give him a big squeeze bottle, fill it with water, and tell him he has to stay in there for 20 minutes dumping the contents of the squeeze bottle. Make him do it 50 times before you let him do something else. The next time he dumps something inappropriate, have him dump the squeeze bottle 75 times. He will quickly tire of having to do this, and by not just allowing him, but compelling him to dump something, you will have taken the fun out of it.
Just a thought -- hope this helps. (Change the numbers around as you see fit -- it may only take 25 times and 10 minutes, you'll know best. But make sure to increase the number of times every time he dumps something inappropriate.)
2007-10-10 06:43:54 · answer #2 · answered by Liza 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lock it all under the cabinets. Put a lock on your refrigerator, problem solved. Don't leave ANY lotion out or even shampoo. Stick it all under the cabinet in a bucket and just pull the bucket into the shower with you when you need to take one. At 3.5 he is old enough to understand that it's wrong--you say no and you take something away--tv time, a favorite time, a good part of his routine (ie loses books at bedtime for two nights, etc.). Start a behavior chart and he gets bad checks if he dumps stuff out. Once he hits a certain number of checks he has something taken away. Similarly, if he goes a certain number of days without doing it, he gets something special (a trip to get ice cream, something...). Good luck!
2007-10-10 05:32:43 · answer #3 · answered by Sit'nTeach'nNanny 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Consistency is the key. Continue to punish him, and the behaviour will eventually cease. Make him stick his nose in the corner for 6-8 minutes. If he tries to throw a fit continue to put him back in the corner until he has completed his punishment. Do this very calmly. It will be easy to raise your voice when you are frustrated. If you are consistent, he will know you are serious. Within a few days he'll learn that you mean business, and he'll give up the behaviour. He needs to realize that he has come into your world. It's not all about him. He is not in charge, and therefore he does not get to dump bottles whenever he pleases.
2007-10-10 05:38:06 · answer #4 · answered by *Honk Honk* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i wish that i had a real 'answer' for you, but i honestly don't know what a good way to stop his behavior would be. what punishments do you give him? my idea would be to tell him that if he's going to ruin your family's stuff, then something of his will be ruined as well. that may just be grabbing a little toy and throwing it away. i don't know. also, with my 4-yr-old, he no longer gets '3 chances' for everything. he may get one chance for something here and there, but he knows by then that what he's doing is wrong and he has to stop right then. there are certain 'mean' phrases he'll say that he knows darn well are wrong when he says them, and it's zero tolerance for those... straight to time out. he's learning pretty quick on that and doesn't test me quite as much. don't be afraid to ask your child's medical doctor either. it's amazing what they sometimes know to do about behavioral issues as well. sorry i'm not much help but i just want you to know that i'm wishing you all the luck in the world and i hope that it gets better very soon. i know it's rough having one that age!! :) don't back down... and don't let him see you too upset. stay firm.
2007-10-10 05:41:35 · answer #5 · answered by gina 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to limit what he can get hold of. fridge locks and cupboard locks for the kitchen, stair gates for the stairs and the doorways. He does not need to go get soap etc himself unless he's in the bath and you're with him. you have to think that maybe there is a possibility that he could accidentally drink or eat stuff he shouldn't and try to stop that. it may never happen of course but he must be shown this is not acceptable behaviour, eapecially as he has broken the playstation. i hope he is going to be sauitably punished for this as he cannot be allowed to get away with it. because if he does he will know he has no consequences and also why should his brother have things broken? Maybe a suitable punishment will help to stop him in future. what do you usually do to punish him? Realistically though I think that trying to stop this behaviour is paramount in stopping you from getting to the punishment point.
2007-10-10 05:39:39 · answer #6 · answered by heartshapedglasses 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um, try swatting his hands when he dumps something out, getting on the floor in eye contact and tell him it's not acceptable to go and stand in the corner (or whatever timeout procedure you use). That if he does it again, he will go to bed early or no snacks. He needs to understand that you are the adult and it sounds like he thinks he is. If it's not under controll soon, he will take over. And as far as him dumping lotion into your sons playstation 2...how come it wasn't put away in the first place??????
2007-10-10 07:19:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you have forgotten what this age does and need to do some major child proofing in the house. Put all stuff in the bathroom up high or in a cabinet with child locks on the doors. Also, give the child choices on what toys are his to play with and redirect the child to the positive areas that the child is allowed to go and play in. If you know that your child is going to the bathroom and you haven't purt up things that child can get to, then go with that child to the bathroom & supervise them.
Be a parent and grow up and see that you need to set boundaries with child. If you don't know what to do, get help from other moms in your area who have been there with children of your child's age.
2007-10-10 05:49:04 · answer #8 · answered by cnored9528 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your son just needs attention, if you catch him in the act of dumping stuff you must put him on timeout, for about 4 minutes. The tell him that it's not nice to dump stuff and reinforce this everytime you catch him in the act. The trick is to catch him in the act.
The other thing yo can do is put the stuff out of reach, if he can't reach it he can't dump it. You can go to Toy's R'us and get a childproffing kit that has locks for cabinets and other goodies that are sure to help.
Another thing is that he is thirsting for some attention so be sure to give it to him instead of watching Oprah or Maury or any other show, OK. He needs one on one then after he's tired of playing and he naps watch some TV.
2007-10-10 05:34:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
This might sound counter-productive, but I would suggest setting aside "dumping" play time.
You can get a bin and fill it with rice or water or sand or small pasta. Get some sand toys or just some kitchen utensils and containers, empty bottles, etc. Put a shower curtain underneath to catch the mess and let him go to town.
I would also encourage him to play with play-do, shaving cream, finger paints, using kid scissors, etc.
Maybe if he has a creative outlet he won't need to dump everything out.
In addition, you need to make sure anything dangerous or poisonous is out of reach AND locked.
2007-10-10 06:35:57 · answer #10 · answered by berrel 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋