Here's the story:
I feel in love with someone in a relationship already. We had whatever we had for 6 months. Then that person broke it off with her ex we got together and I messed up 3 months later and we became just friends, she got back with her ex.
Then a little later we started up again while she was in a relationship. I said two days ago I don't believe in love, now she doubts everything we shared. Instatly fell out of love with me (she says it was fading slowly, but that halted it) and doubts she wants to be my friend.
Oh, and she made it very clear "we" will never be again. Even if she's single, I got my stuff together, it will never be. How do I get over that. We made plans, I proposed, she said yeah. How do I let that go? How do I just be her friend?
2007-10-10 03:05:11 · 16 answers · asked by Ryan R 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If it's been on-again, off-again for several months, you are a big part of this. Reading through your story, I got the impression that neither of you were sure what you wanted the relationship to be. I also get the impression that you're still not sure what you really want. I mean, how can you tell someone that you're in a relationship with that you don't believe in love? Why would you expect the relationship to continue after that? And why do you feel in love just two days after saying something like that?
I'd say you have bigger issues than this one relationship, and that it'd probably be good for you to "take a break" for a little while and decide what it is that you really want from a relationship and from life in general. I think that when you have that a little better defined, that both you and your new partner will find your next relationship much more satisfying.
2007-10-10 03:16:19 · answer #1 · answered by El Jefe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the end of a relationship is much like a death. You need grieving time, time to heal. Call your local mental health center and find a good counselor to talk with, or a local pastor. Ask your friends and family to be nice to you for awhile because you're going through a bad time. it would probably be best to not see her for awhile. It will make it easier to get through this. Believe me, there is someone out there ten times better for you than she is, so grieve this one and move on. You won't ever get totally over a broken heart, but each day it gets a little easier.
2007-10-10 10:10:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Stay calm and relaxed.
2. If you happen to see him/her, just say hi or hello and ask her about his/her family or work life -- neutral topics.
3. Let go and allow yourself to start thinking of him/her in a new light that is separate from the concept of you and him/her together.
4. Don't try to talk to them all the time - it looks obviously desperate.
* Smile
* Try to remember that the past is in the past. No matter what happened, it only means as much as you let it mean. Sometimes loving or painful memories can effect how we feel in the moment- but you have control over how much weight you give your past when considering your present.
* Don't make comments about when you went out, just remember, only want to be friends.
2007-10-10 10:09:33 · answer #3 · answered by jixme 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't be her friend. It would hurt to much to see her go on with her life. She sounds like a flake. Get a haircut, new job, car, get your life together without her. The real girl will be there at the end of that journey. The best revenge is success. Be successful. Good luck.
2007-10-10 10:09:46 · answer #4 · answered by noitall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man what a situation. I think just take it one day at a time ....and how can u tell someone u don't believe in love yet propose to that person? U should love that person with all ur heart if u are wantin to get married to them. I can see why she broke it off....look at it through her eyes.
2007-10-10 10:12:07 · answer #5 · answered by intensity92000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the best thins is that do practically nothing now as the situation is still fiery, try doing more social activities and know more people, not for another relationship yet but to just relax yourself, then you may return to this problem, every problem comes with a solution, it always depends how you look and solve it, talk to your family, not about this but maybe something else, just don't be too tensed up and ended up resulting nothing!
2007-10-10 10:10:55 · answer #6 · answered by bishonen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is gonna suck, but she said she doesn't want to even be your friend. maybe shes afraid of hurting herself again (i'm willing to bet it hurt when she broke up with you). you need to watch some movies in comfy clothes on your couch and eat ice cream, cereal, chicken, what ever ur comfort food is. then go out to a bar and meet new people, and try to have fun (don't get too drunk though, i don't think u want a hangover on top of ur other troubles. good luck, and i'm sure someone out there will love you!
2007-10-10 10:14:16 · answer #7 · answered by Brunette19 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think you should try to be her friend sounds to me like she is out for self gratification at anyone expense there are plenty of us out there. maybe you should join a group that she has nothing to do with like darts or bowling or cycling something to take your mind off her but not pushing your mind onto someone else to fast then you'll both get hurt all over again good luck and God bless.
2007-10-10 10:10:49 · answer #8 · answered by val28516 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply let it go. The more you dwell on it the more hurt you'll become. I wouldn't want to just be friends with her due to the fact it will cause you pain each time you see her with her ex. It stinks but that is the way it works.
2007-10-10 10:09:37 · answer #9 · answered by Just Me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry. I honestly don't know but I do know that there is someone out there for everyone and you just have not found them yet. Remember the song by Chicago if she would have been faithful. Good luck.
2007-10-10 10:08:47 · answer #10 · answered by Ima Stressed Out 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋