My husband and I are in the middle of a custody case over his 5 year old son. Neither my husband nor I go to church, but we do believe in God and Jesus, and try to pass on good faith values to his son, such as the biblical reason for Easter and Christmas, and not just hunting eggs or getting presents. His Ex has done a 180 from Baptist to Jehovah Witness. The child is coming to us talking about Jehovah, about how he made everything, and what Jehovah wants us to do...we feel that we need to get another view across to him about God and Jesus, and that pledging allegiance to the flag is okay, and birthday parties are fine, but we are not wanting to undermine his mother's recent faith change from Baptist to Witness (Which we think is Bogus and a ploy). We also don't want to be hypocrites ourselves by going to church when we think that God lives in our hearts, not a building. Please give specific reasons, should we go, or not? If so where? I was raised Catholic, he was rasied Baptist
2007-10-10 03:02:32 · 26 answers · asked by CaCO3Girl 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I may have not been clear before...I have no problem with JW's I know some very nice ones. What I do have a problem with is this woman canceling Halloween and Christmas and birthdays because of a fad she is trying out. She has a live in boyfriend, has had a child out of wedlock, does NOT turn the other check, is full of anger and vengeance and is not above reproach. She goes to a couple book studies a week, has not been baptized, and is not a "real" JW yet, and does not seem to be making the changes in her life to become one. Meanwhile she is force-feeding this belief system to her children of 10, 7 and 5. We have no control or say over the 10 and 7 year old, but this is severely affecting the 5 year old. I don't have a problem with JW's I have a problem with hypocritical JW's who are damaging their kids childhood on a whim. I am worried he will take all of this doctrine for granted just like he believes Santa brings presents on Christmas.
2007-10-10 06:10:57 · update #1
My heart tells me you should just be the good people that you are, be yourselves, dont change yourselves just because his mother is changeable. Show stability, and security in your faith to the child. Talk to him, tell him there are many faiths in the world and each person chooses to be where his or her heart is, and if its different to someone else, it doesnt mean that its wrong. Teach him that its good to learn about different faiths, and it makes him a good person to be happy that his family and friends are happy with their chosen faiths, even when they are different. When he is older, he will have a good foundation to choose for himself.
2007-10-10 03:13:09 · answer #1 · answered by Moonshadow Dancer 2 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Well as for the boy's mother. It could be she is simply trying something new. (I have seen many claim to be/want to be Witnesses but they are simply just doing something new, and aren't really interested.) or it could be she is just slowly making progress.
I think as far as what your son says, don't preasure him. If he doesn't want to do his B-Day this year, oh well. Support him. It will help him feel confident and then if he changes his mind he will know you are supportive one way or the other.
You might want to go with him to a meeting or 2, see what it is like, then you can explain your feelings to him on his level.
There is no reason for you to completely abandon your beliefs/feelings. At the same time you can show respect for his and for him, and for yourselves by trying to be polite.
One thing you can do is ask him view point questions.
"How do you feel about going to meetings"??
As for Christmas and Easter, I will let you know, these do have pagan roots, so be prepared for him possibly mentioning this.
PS
Please don't let some of the answers worry you. Example the one claiming if you don't get him conseling soon he will think his friends are evil or TV is wrong.
That is so far off it isn't even funny.
I am a Christian, one of Jehovah's Witnesses. I have friends who are not Witnesses, and I watch TV.:D
2007-10-10 13:41:25 · answer #2 · answered by Ish Var Lan Salinger 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Is it posible for you to try a church that will not offend anyone? Look into the Unitarian or Unitarian Universalist church near you. I go to a UU congregation, and all people are accepted there. UU is a congregation that believes that all people have a right and a responsibility to follow their own spiritual path. This allows families who believe differently to worship together. The UU church I go to has religious education for the kids, where they study all different faiths and beliefs. What I tell them at home is what is important, anyway. Most of what Church has become is social in nature, not spiritual.
2007-10-11 08:30:49 · answer #3 · answered by Katie Short, Atheati Princess 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you don't go to church as a matter of course then starting now doesn't seem to be the correct course of action. The best thing you can do for this child is to continue to be your normal selves and engage him in age-appropriate conversation about the beliefs he's parroting when he's with you. Hopefully that'll be enough to keep him from completely closing his mind or at least give him the freedom to talk to you later when he starts asking questions that the JW's won't answer.
2007-10-10 03:31:58 · answer #4 · answered by Jenny S 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I am a Christian and so is my fiancee. We don't go to church because we believe like you do. God is in our hearts. He has 2 kids and he teaches them about God at home. Every Tuesday at his mom's house, family and friends get together to pray and read the Word and talk about God and other things in their daily lives. You don't need to teach the child in a church about God. You can do that at home. The child doesn't know the difference between religions and such. All that matters is that he knows God one way or another. I was raised Catholic but I don't follow that faith anymore. He was raised as a Protestant and he doesn't follow that either. He teaches the kids to pray and they do. He has read them the Word and they have asked questions which he has answered beautifully. It's not about what religion to follow or what church to go to. It is about values and morals and teaching the child that God is good and he wants for the child to do good and follow His teachings. When God talked about church in the Bible, He was talking about the people not a building. So, you don't have to go to church to Worship God. I hope I have helped you. Have a Blessed day!
2007-10-10 03:16:35 · answer #5 · answered by curious_boricua_soul 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
you are right that gor does live in our hearts not a building i beleive that to but we also need to go to church because we need to be feed as my pastor put it and when we go we have a chance to worship God freely you can also do it outside of church my parents went though a divorce from the time i was 5 till i was 16 and i went though a lot of stuff needless to say i know why i didnt die in a car accident or why i ididnt overdose on drugs all that stuff and im out of stirkes with the law now im here to keep my brother off that stuff and in school im am graduating this year and have been a chrisitan for 2 years now if you have any more questions ask me k
2007-10-10 03:11:31 · answer #6 · answered by amanda2008 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
While the Holy Spirit may very well dwell in those who have received Him, the Bible also tells us that it is necessary for us to gather together with other believers. The word "Church" in Greek means "a body of called out ones". No one person alone is a church, but we together are the body of Christ, and as Paul explains it, one part of the body cannot function properly without being joined to the rest of the body. That being said I think it would be good to take your son to church, not to bring more religion into his life, but to strengthen his resolve to live for Christ. I believe this will also strengthen your walk with Christ as well. Blessings to you and your family.
2007-10-10 03:25:43 · answer #7 · answered by Jimbo 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The child needs stability and common sense...JW is a cult and he needs to see the truth in your lives and the lives of others...find a nice Bible believing church with a good children's program...
Yes, God's lives with in our hearts...the group of people is the church and the boy might enjoy friends....
It is a good family thing to go to church together...being luke warm about God will show to the boy and to the court that you might not be "really serious" about this custody issue..
Be serious and enjoy the education of God together...it will give you strength as a family and before the court...
He needs to see the correct way with in the family....
His mother's faith is not his issue and his talking about it in such a fashion indicates a start at JW indoctrination....
take the middle ground, try Lutheran....(the smiling ones not the sour ones)
there are many kid videos and web sites of christian kid stuff to watch on line that he would enjoy..children's bibles and bible video game things, etc..
been there done that.....
2007-10-10 03:25:03 · answer #8 · answered by coffee_pot12 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
of course, if you're going to go, you should go for the right reasons or it will be a pretty boring/painful experience, and god would be, like, what the hell are you doing? plus, the bad vibes would rub off on your step-son, and would probably only strengthen the Witness side of things. i think it's a good idea to at least expose him to christianity, just so he can make an educated decision when he is a bit older.
maybe you just haven't found a church that wholeheartedly reflects your faith? in my church, we don't make any bones about the fact that god lives in our hearts and not in a building. we see our church as a family, not a religion in itself. we spend a lot of time together just hanging out, watching football, watching each other's kids, talking about our problems, helping each other out - it's great.
my church is a Vineyard church - look them up, it's a good non-denominational option, strong Bible basis but totally non-judgemental, in my experience. this is their US website: http://www.vineyardusa.org/
good luck and god bless you and your family.
2007-10-10 03:34:05 · answer #9 · answered by candypants 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Since your stepson is receiving rather intense religious training at the hands of the Jehovah's witnesses, and you are obviously uncomfortable with this, I suggest you find a church with a good bible based childrens program to provide him with another view. I don't think that makes you a hypocrite.
2007-10-10 03:11:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
Maybe God is using this to get you two back in Church.
My answer is yes get back going to Church before he is filled with lies.
Find a church that teaches the true word of God from the bible not a place that entertains to get people in the door.
Let the Holy Spirit guide you where he wants you to go
The Lord is ready to hear from you
2007-10-10 03:24:54 · answer #11 · answered by Boomrat 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋