dads death?

Question

i feel so angry over my dad dying, sometimes im fine but then i just lash out and now i start to get volient but i always walk away, i haven seen his grave and its playing on mind, i feelso alone no one understand... please someone help if they know how imvfeeling?

Answer 1

its normal to feel angry after a bereavement. hit a pillow let the pain out that is healthy. why dont you go with a friend to see his grave. I understand how you feel, i lost both my parents - it will get better honestly. Just think of him being in a better place watching over you and that you will see him again one day.
Good luck

Answer 2

My dear I am so very sad to read your input. Loss can make us want to lash out especially against others who still love us. I am guessing that you are maybe a teenager, it is always hard to cope with bereavement but this age in life is a particulrly difficult time to lose such a cherished person. There is no understanding the logic or reason when someone is taken from us but you need to find a way to express your sorrow that does not cause you more upset. You need some professional help to guide you through so may I suggest a visit to your doctor and ask if you could talk to someone professionally qualified. In the UK there is a group called Cruse I have attached the link to find your local branch - that is if you are in the UK. If not it sometimes help to speak to someone not quite so close to your loss - a good listener. It is a platitude but "it does get easier with time". One never forgets one just learns to remember with love.
www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/find_branch.html

I do hope this helps you - I have had a personal experience somewhat different to yours but I do know how you are feeling. You will be in my thoughts.

Answer 3

I know how you are feeling. I'm exactly the same. I have my good moments and also my bad ones. I have not seen my parents' either, and sometimes I think about it, but I think it is better like that, even though sometimes I think I don't want to see them as this would be really admitting that they are dead. Coping with the dead of 1 or both parents is always very hard, specially if it happens when you are young. My parents died when I was 20 and 24, i don't know about your experience, I know it always hurts but I think it would have been easier for me if my life would have been more sorted out. I tend to feel lost and alone but i do my best to avoid getting stuck in a hole as I know my parents wouldn't want that for me. Best of luck! There is not much I can say to help you, just that I understand you!

Answer 4

Hi...

I hope you're ok. Death of someone close is not something we can reherse. It's like someone has reached into your family, your safety zone and taken someone away that you felt was part of you. It opens you up to all kinds of vulnerable feelings and paranoia, what it mainly does is F**k up your life in a way thats totally out of your control.. And no one likes to feel out of control of their life...

What you're feeling is normal for you. There will be days when you feel totally cheated, pissed off, angry, depressed, resentful, guilty... you name it... And then there'll be days when you go out, have a good time with friends, laugh and enjoy life..

It wont ever stop hurting.. It will stop being so raw eventually and you'll accept the fact that he's gone and you're not. But you need to acknowledge his life and acknowledge his death...Visiting the grave is a great way to do that.. Putting it off is creating a barrier, you'll make it into a huge 'thing' and find it harder than it needs to be.. So I say, decide today.. When you're going to do that and do it.

My dad died when I was ten...(15 years ago) I dealt with it at the time as any ten year old would...I cried, beame clingy to my mum and brothers and acted up a bit... But, I guess kids are resiliant cos I managed after about a 6 month period of good/bad days to get to the point where the good days became more frequent and the bad less...

It was only two years ago I realised how EVERY single aspect of my personality had evolved from that one event and really, I needed to bring some things to the surface before they over took me... So I bit the bullet and went to a Psychologist.. for an hour a time, for 6 months... Once a week.. Give or take the weeks I didnt show.. It really sucked because I was forced to go into this room and face things that, I didnt realise terrifed me to even think about...And here I was talking about them... But I swear, Im a different woman now to the one I was two years ago... I dread to think what or where I'd be now if I hadnt done it... My point anyway, maybe thats an avenue for you to explore... Sounds like you need to get a lot out regarding him...As I did, and not just about his death, I had loads of anger towards him that as a child I couldnt express, but as an adult I could vocalise.. I think we become scared to say anything negative about a deceased person for fear that we're being immoral to speak ill of the dead.. or something like that... But, my dad did a lot of things he should have felt ashamed of and Im sure did inside... His dying didnt take away my anger...It just compounded it into anger and grief...Which as you are experiencing are two very draining and depressing things...

I know I went on about myself a bit there, but what Im saying is, whatever you're feeling is ok. But bottling away until the point of anger is really bad... It wont ever go away... Not until you face it and move on...

Good luck.

xx

Answer 5

I'm so sorry for your loss, 4 years ago my wife suffered a major stroke, the woman i love died and was replaced my woman who i now care for.

I don't know the circumstances of your dads death, but i do know how your feeling, Alone Isolated, Angry.

But who you angry at your Dad for leaving you, the Doctors, for failing him, Yourself for not being there.

I went through all of this, got drunk and lashed out, hurt everyone around me especially those who deserved it the least.

You need to talk to yourself, or your dad, go see him sit down and tell him how you feel, hes the one who will understand without judging, without butting in, and like you he wont tell anyone.

Don't let this beat you.

Answer 6

I'm very sorry for your loss, hon. It's awful when we lose someone we love, and it takes time to grieve and come to terms with our feelings. Anger is a part of the grieving process....

I have found a few websites for you about grieving, death and dying, just in case you are interested. There are many more, if you want to find them... just do a yahoo search for COPING WITH GRIEF and also GRIEF AND ANGER.

Many communities offer grief support meetings... maybe you could check with the local hospital to see if one is being held in your community? It might help to know you are not alone in your feelings of loss.

If you feel your anger and violence is out of control, go to your doctor, and talk with him or her. Perhaps he can help, or refer you to someone who can.

take care of YOU...

Answer 7

Death and Dying: Books: Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

It is a good book to help you undrstand that what you are feeling is absolutely normal and part of the grieving process.

Answer 8

my dad died 12 years ago today, so a bit weepy today. I wasnt angry about his death but i was about my moms, she died of cancer at the age of 53, which to me is too young to die, you must go and see his grave, even talk to him, he might not hear you but it will help you at the time, its no good getting violent with anyone because its not their fault or yours, its true what they say even if you dont believe it now, it does get better, big hug :-)

Answer 9

sorry to hear this but just keep ur self together and dont take it out on urself or other people its just something that will happen to every1 one day

Answer 10

normal process, I know...will pass...matter of time..and dont rush, take ur time!