Should I hate my Father??

Question

I’m 48. My father, had he been alive, would be 74 now. My mother is seventeen years older than me.
We are orthodox Hindu Bengalis, and when my father married my mother at 1958, that was the prevailing social norm. There were a lot of differences in their educational qualifications or social status. Still, they happily lived their life and reared kids with highest possible love and affection.
Now, should I hate my father as a pedophile now??

Answer 1

Because your mom was under age when they got married? It is totally up to you, but as you said that was the norm for time and for their culture. I know lots of people who's mom is only 15 to 17 years older than them and yes most of the father's were over the age of 20 at the time. Was it right? Maybe not, but I wouldn't worry about it too much. As you said they loved you and raised you well, so let sleeping dogs lie. Remember the love he gave you and don't sweat the small stuff. If he was a goof man, then remember him as a good man.

Answer 2

Why would you do such a thing? If it was the social norm he was brought up to think there was nothing wrong with being with a younger woman. She must have been something like 16 when they were together and to tell you to the truth once a woman started her menses back then it was time to have family.

Today people are afraid of everything and instead of looking at it with different eyes and being a little more accepting of other people and their beliefs they put those ideals under a microscope.

Don't hate... It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with your parents. Let them deal with their relationship and your father has passed so it would seem there is nothing to think about.

Answer 3

Hate in anyone's heart is a poison to your general heath, so, no matter what your father did, choose to forgive. Let the judgement to God, the only one that is fair and have this right. He only knows all the "pieces of the puzzle" in your father life's choices. Pedophile behavior seems to be result of serious mental/emotional disorder sometimes as a result of childhood abuse. Pray asking help to let it go any tendency to condemn, no matter what others may say or expect from you. You will feel peaceful and at ease about it. Someone once said that, whenever we refuse to forgive, we are destroying the same bridge we all need, in order to be forgiven of our own wrongdoings. I firmly believe it to be true. Be wise choosing to forgive!

Answer 4

No, you should not hate your father. Hate is a very harmful emotion and will do you more damage than good. If he was a good father to you when he was alive, leave it at that. Now that he has passed away you should cherish his memory and accept the fact that God (whomever your God) loves all his children.

Answer 5

No .... A lot of people married really young back thn it was perfectly normal as you said

Answer 6

im alot younger than my hubby....we love one another and that is all that matters. u say ur parents were loving and affectionate....they were happy, u was happy-why would u hate him? he sounds like he was a good father and husband.

Answer 7

wow thats heavy I can see where the resentment could creep in but you should find a way to let it go so that you can have freedom

Answer 8

Thou shall love and honour their fathers, come on he gave you a life and looked after you interest, show him some loving. Good luck.

Answer 9

Forgive him, he's only human.

Answer 10

ur crazy !!! u should be knowing u should not b asking others this