I was raped about 3 years ago when I was out for the night with my friends, staying in a bed and breakfast.
I didn't want the hassle of trying to find him and going through the heartache of a police service and investigation, so my friends cleaned me up and looked after me for a few days.
It took me about 6 months before I gained any confidence to go out again. And it took me a long time to trust anyone.
But I did get over it.
Now, 3 years down the line, I'm happy and settled with my partner who I love with all my heart, and we are trying for a baby, and suddenly, yesterday night and today, quick images keep coming into my head, like flashbacks. I am starting to remember his smell and what he looked like and the words he whispered to me and I can't stand it.
I don't want to upset my partner and tell him.
Has anyone else had this?
2007-10-10 01:20:28 · 14 answers · asked by sweet_steph27 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I was raped when I was 16, I had a period of about a week that I had flashbacks when I was 20. I talked to my boyfriend and cried and spilled my guts about it. He held me and let me cry, he then didn't sleep with me that night. Not out of disgust but concern and love. He stayed in the same room but thought I didn't need a man next to me right then. We are now married and I sometimes reflect on the time but no longer the same overwhelming feelings. I don't know if it is time, or talking about it, or both.
PS. That boyfriend is now my husband and we have been married 17 years.
2007-10-10 01:34:38 · answer #1 · answered by shello 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Something as serious and traumatic as being raped is not easily covered up emotionally and put aside. You have never dealt with this and it's been buried for 3 years and even though you may not think so it has taken it's toll on you for the past 3 years and has now started to fully resurface. For the sake of your mental and emotional well-being and for your marriage and family you should go talk to a therapist about the rape.
I can understand your fear and wanting to put it out of your mind. I have been there and done the same and I live everyday remembering what happened to me. You need a professional to talk to someone who can help you overcome that trauma and violation.
Good Luck with overcoming bad memories and with your family!
2007-10-10 08:30:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok you don't want to go through it all with the police, but if you are now having flash backs your mind is bringing up the repressed memory. It is probably something to do with ttc ( I'm not joking). I was sexually abused when I was about 8-10 (not sure exactly how old because I've repressed it too) and it was by a family friend (who now shall be referred to as dirty old bastard or dob). While I was ttc I started to get a bit funny about actually having to have sex and trying to relax while doing it. I went to see a social worker about it and I just got to talk and they listened. I still can't remember heaps about it, but luckily the dob is dead (he was an old fart). If the dob who rapes you is still alive and out there you would have issues with it because of all kids of "what ifs". You are going through a stressful time ttc and it has brought the horrific event to the surface. Please go and see someone to talk, you need to do it even if you don't want to catch the guy who did it, heal yourself for your prospective child's sake.
Good luck, your in my thoughts.
2007-10-10 09:10:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't been through this so I can't imagine what you are going through Iam sorry this happened to you. First of all if you haven't seeked counseling I think you should you need take care of yourself before even thinking about your other half. You can only hold in this kind of trauma for so long. If your partner really cares about you he should support you through this healing process It maybe hard for him also at first but he should come around with the support you need good luck.
2007-10-10 08:30:54 · answer #4 · answered by Jewel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell him and you need to get professional help. the trauma from an incident like that can take years to come out. i.e. children who were abused suddenly breaking down in their 30's. you need your partners support more than ever right now. and if hes any kind of a man, he will help you 100%. and professional help, even if its a few visits can make a world of distance. im truly sorry for your situation and i hope things improve.
2007-10-10 08:25:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was never raped, but i was molested by my great grandpa when i was 10, though i never did get over, it, i still remember what he said to me, and everything that happened. Maybe what you shold do is try to talk to a counselor, or maybe a close family member, or friend. Tell your partener, what happened to you, they will be able to help you and support you. If you need to talk i am here.
2007-10-10 10:18:55 · answer #6 · answered by tiffany w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a symptom of PTMS. Post Tramatic Stress Disorder.
actually its not on wikipedia. but here is a link to info about the disorder from the National Institute of Health website.
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/index.shtml
copy paste or click the link
2007-10-10 08:30:53 · answer #7 · answered by sophia Grace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never been raped but I can say that I would tell my partner what I was going through. If you truly love him and he truly loves you he will understand and do anything he can to help you through it. Just as a suggestion if it doesnt go away dont torture yourself, go see someone. i'll be praying for you.
2007-10-10 08:25:46 · answer #8 · answered by Brandy 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Touch wood no one has this kind of experience. I would suggest you should consult a professional who could give you accurate advice on these delicate issues.
2007-10-11 08:54:21 · answer #9 · answered by Raj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its normal.mine came bak 10 years lata.bt yeah,it helps 2 tel ur partner bout it.
2007-10-10 08:27:25 · answer #10 · answered by Caz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋